Looking for support complicated long distance relationship

[Hopefulromantic23]

I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 4 months. I have known my partner for over a year. He lives in New York and I live in Ohio. We have been working on bridging the gap. We are thinking in the next 6 months he will move here. However, just the other day he accepted a job offer with a tower company that will have him away 6 weeks at a time with 10 days at home. I’m not sure how to process this. I love him so much. He is still moving here but in doing so it will essentially be like still being with someone long distance. I know we can do it. It probably won’t last forever. But I am freaking out anyway.

I am looking to reach out to other people or communities where their might be cell tower girlfriends or wives that might be able to put my mind at ease. It is also the most dangerous jobs in America.

I just need someone to talk to. Some kind of support system.

[autumn1790]

Hello,
Just want to say, this sounds like a troubling situation for you, and I'm hoping for your best. Have you guys talked about how long you will be in this situation, and set an end goal? Knowing it will only last so long helps some people cope. My boyfriend and I went two years without meeting, and then about two years meeting every 4-6ish weeks. It's not fun, but it won't last forever, which is what I hold onto.

[Hopefulromantic23]

We have seen each other twice since we started this relationship. The first time for 3 days and 2 months later for 5 days. He is coming back for a couple days in 6 weeks. Our end goal for him to move here is 6 months to a year but he thinks its going to be closer to 6 months. He said this job is just to save money but I know he will want to keep it after moving here. Which won’t be a problem persay because they send him flight tickets to whatever location he is working in that 6 week period. I just will still have to deal with him being away from me that long until he gets a closer job. But even local tower climbers are 3 week stretches. It’s going to be an adjustment either way. I want to support him and I love him.

[Hopefulromantic23]

Had a really bad night last night. I knew when he took this job it might be the beginning of the end. He is starting to push me away and I can feel it. He usually gets excited about his visits with me and now he isn’t. He doesn’t want to talk about it. Oddly enough he will bring up how he’s trying to speed up the process of moving here though. He just got so angry and upset about how he has to travel so much. Then he said he had to go to bed. Social media had him up for 2 more hours so he was just pissed and didnt want to talk to me anymore. I don’t understand what’s happening. He knew this would be hard. Maybe he doesn’t want to do it anymore.

Yesterday I told my mother about him too. Im 35 so it was more out of respect than permission or whatever. And his whole family knows about me. And she wasn’t pleased. I knew she wouldn’t be. He said it doesn’t bother him but I think it does. I don’t know. I guess today I am just going to let him txt or call me first.

The past week hes been avoiding talking about this next visit or acting excited so its not looking good.

[Atlantic Crossroads]

If your SO is anything like mine, he's probably acting off because he is immensely stressed. He may be second guessing himself, and wondering if he's doing the right thing. His family and friends may not be supportive, or are asking him awkward questions. It is an adjustment, and some people cope better than others. I'd say not to worry too much, and give him time and space. Let him know you are still there for him, and that you support him. It may be worth writing an email to him, explaining how you feel, and that you understand he is stressed. Communication is essential, but it can be hard in situations like this.
Good luck and positive vibes.

[Hopefulromantic23]

He has told me he is very stressed and overwhelmed. With everything. Work, family and us. But I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for this. I feel like our relationship is making things harder on him. He seems committed and we have a pretty strong bond. I just don’t know sometimes. It worrys me. He knows I worry and it bothers him too.

I keep telling myself we will just have to overcome these storms in our life. And trust we can both stay course.

[Redheart14]

Sometimes waiting and talking face to face is far more beneficial. Seeing you have a visit coming up try and talk to him when you’re together.

[Hopefulromantic23]

It’s just discouraging. I stopped bringing up when in March because he just gets annoyed and says he doesn’t know yet. I understand it pisses him off I am asking. I just need to know when so I can schedule some days off work. But whatever. If he waits until last minute.. I guess it just won’t happen. Things were not like this before this job 😩. It’s awful.

Just keeping myself busy and whatever happens...happens at this point. Trying to stay optimistic and waiting for the smoke to clear a little.

When he wants something to happen he will initate it. Sometimes I have to just remove my want from the equation and realize he was my best friend first and just support him above all else.