Hi everyone,
New to this forum so hope i'm posting this in the right section.
I live in San Diego, my girlfriend's a 4 hour flight away in Mexico. We met while both studying abroad in Panama and were together for around 6 months there, and have been together now for about 4 years - 3 and a half of them long distance.
At first, I was visiting her at least every 6-8 weeks. She'd come a couple of times a year and I understood i'd have to visit more often - I'm a software engineer and naturally make more living in the US, she's works in marketing in Mexico so naturally makes less. It's also much easier for me to get a visa than for her, but at any rate I never complained. Every time she came to visit me she said she'd love to live in San Diego one day.
A year ago, at this point 3 years in to our relationship (2.5 years long distance) she'd completed 2 years at her job, and I was hoping she'd start applying to jobs here in San Diego so we could try and end the long distance. However, she opted to take another job in Mexico. I was devastated but she assured me she wasn't planning to stay there for long. Fast forward 6 months, I was offered a job in Vancouver, and was very close to taking it, but turned it down because it would have meant being even further away (7 hours flight). Anyway, fast forward 6 months more and here we are, 4 years into our relationship, 3.5 of them long distance. We used to video facetime at least weekly, if not twice a week. Now we don't at all, maybe just the odd phone call during the week - aside from the usual text messaging. The past 2 months we haven't facetimed at all - she came over for a week and it was great, completely normal. But as soon as she went back to Mexico it's back like that - we aren't talking properly.
Since the start of the year, i've been talking to her about moving here this year. She wanted to wait until April because it would be a year since she started her second job, so I agreed and assumed she'd start to take it seriously from then onwards. But, despite helping her with her resume, she just doesn't seem to be taking it seriously. In the 2 months that have followed, she hasn't applied for a single job. I'm beginning to give up, it feels like its only ever me taking it seriously. I'm going to visit her in 2 months from now, and I wonder if it will be the last time. I'm so confused and need advice on what to do.
New to this forum so hope i'm posting this in the right section.
I live in San Diego, my girlfriend's a 4 hour flight away in Mexico. We met while both studying abroad in Panama and were together for around 6 months there, and have been together now for about 4 years - 3 and a half of them long distance.
At first, I was visiting her at least every 6-8 weeks. She'd come a couple of times a year and I understood i'd have to visit more often - I'm a software engineer and naturally make more living in the US, she's works in marketing in Mexico so naturally makes less. It's also much easier for me to get a visa than for her, but at any rate I never complained. Every time she came to visit me she said she'd love to live in San Diego one day.
A year ago, at this point 3 years in to our relationship (2.5 years long distance) she'd completed 2 years at her job, and I was hoping she'd start applying to jobs here in San Diego so we could try and end the long distance. However, she opted to take another job in Mexico. I was devastated but she assured me she wasn't planning to stay there for long. Fast forward 6 months, I was offered a job in Vancouver, and was very close to taking it, but turned it down because it would have meant being even further away (7 hours flight). Anyway, fast forward 6 months more and here we are, 4 years into our relationship, 3.5 of them long distance. We used to video facetime at least weekly, if not twice a week. Now we don't at all, maybe just the odd phone call during the week - aside from the usual text messaging. The past 2 months we haven't facetimed at all - she came over for a week and it was great, completely normal. But as soon as she went back to Mexico it's back like that - we aren't talking properly.
Since the start of the year, i've been talking to her about moving here this year. She wanted to wait until April because it would be a year since she started her second job, so I agreed and assumed she'd start to take it seriously from then onwards. But, despite helping her with her resume, she just doesn't seem to be taking it seriously. In the 2 months that have followed, she hasn't applied for a single job. I'm beginning to give up, it feels like its only ever me taking it seriously. I'm going to visit her in 2 months from now, and I wonder if it will be the last time. I'm so confused and need advice on what to do.
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