Hey guys, this is my first post. Just discovered this forum! The place for my heart and thoughts right now. My story is nothing new. That distance gets harder each time.
My boyfriend (M/28) and I (F/23) have been dating for 1.5 years, predominately long distance. We were friends in the same city for a year and when I graduated I moved 1 hour away. Then we started dating (great timing, eh
) After 3 months I moved a 5 hour flight away for grad school (we took quite a few weekend trips or reading week vacation for how far we actually were!) and 6 months ago I moved to South East Asia for my thesis research. I was gone 4 months (he came to visit for a week!) and because of some research delays, I came home for 2 months. This is the longest we have ever been together!!! 
Despite my hopping around from city to city staying with different friends and family while I was back in that province we spent a ton of time together and for the first time experienced what it was like to do life alongside one another. There were new experiences of doing mundane things together or sitting in the same room doing different things but still being together. Up until that point every visit was this honeymoon phase of "I must spend every minute within a certain radius of this person I love!!!"
We are really planning for the future (when I am back he is moving to my university city(the one that's a 5 hour flight away). Finally no more distance!! and we want to get engaged soon after we are together after some pre-engagement counselling.
Because we won't be in the province together that we will get married in for a long time, while we were back we (mainly me) were looking at venues. I was fully in wedding mode. Thinking about my future with this person. We definitely became comfortable with that and then I had to head back.
But that time together is now over, as I left and we will be apart for 5 months (he'll come for a short visit at some point halfway through). I've been in SEA for 2 weeks now and yes, I am glad to be back here!! but the distance sucks.
It hasn't been a ton of missing him (those waves will come and I am glad they are holding off because they are relentless when they come) but more of just a frustration, sadness and not meeting expectations. We became so comfortable before and now we are back at LD. Before we never knew anything more and now it feels so half-ass to the real thing.
I just feel like we've "paid our LD dues", so to speak. That we are ready for the next step, not to take steps backward or be stagnate (I know this is not what a LDR is but I am just feeling things really heavy right now).
My close friend and her boyfriend starting dating 2 months before we did. They are planning to be engaged in January. I am so happy for her! This is ideally the timeline we would like for our own relationship but circumstances make it not possible. I am trying not to compare but it certainly is a thought that has crossed my mind.
I would consider our communication stelar and our relationship deeply healthy. But recently both of our patience has been short with each other for the first time, likely due to the frustration. Couple this with reexperiencing the technology challenges and being 12 hours apart it's hitting me like a ton of bricks.
And for the first time this stupid voice in my head is saying breaking up wouldn't be the worst. And so I've reflected on this foreign thought and realized that I never in a million years would want my best friend to not be a part of my life but maybe this part of me is saying wouldn't it be great to put dating on hold, just be bffs, and resume when we are together again? Then I wouldn't feel like I am missing out. Dumb right? Ya, impractical. It's incredibly selfish and such a short-viewed perspective. My mind is doing strange things right now.
Our faith in God is the central aspect of our relationship and we are blessed and confident that God continues to sustain our relationship. I rest in that, but I am also tired too.
Well, I don't know what the point of this is... has anyone else experienced long-distance, then time together and then distance again but way WAY harder? I am confident we WILL GET USED to this NEW NORMAL, but for now its hard and just doesn't seem fair. Welp, that's me and our LDR!
My boyfriend (M/28) and I (F/23) have been dating for 1.5 years, predominately long distance. We were friends in the same city for a year and when I graduated I moved 1 hour away. Then we started dating (great timing, eh
) After 3 months I moved a 5 hour flight away for grad school (we took quite a few weekend trips or reading week vacation for how far we actually were!) and 6 months ago I moved to South East Asia for my thesis research. I was gone 4 months (he came to visit for a week!) and because of some research delays, I came home for 2 months. This is the longest we have ever been together!!! Despite my hopping around from city to city staying with different friends and family while I was back in that province we spent a ton of time together and for the first time experienced what it was like to do life alongside one another. There were new experiences of doing mundane things together or sitting in the same room doing different things but still being together. Up until that point every visit was this honeymoon phase of "I must spend every minute within a certain radius of this person I love!!!"
We are really planning for the future (when I am back he is moving to my university city(the one that's a 5 hour flight away). Finally no more distance!! and we want to get engaged soon after we are together after some pre-engagement counselling.
Because we won't be in the province together that we will get married in for a long time, while we were back we (mainly me) were looking at venues. I was fully in wedding mode. Thinking about my future with this person. We definitely became comfortable with that and then I had to head back.
But that time together is now over, as I left and we will be apart for 5 months (he'll come for a short visit at some point halfway through). I've been in SEA for 2 weeks now and yes, I am glad to be back here!! but the distance sucks.
It hasn't been a ton of missing him (those waves will come and I am glad they are holding off because they are relentless when they come) but more of just a frustration, sadness and not meeting expectations. We became so comfortable before and now we are back at LD. Before we never knew anything more and now it feels so half-ass to the real thing.
I just feel like we've "paid our LD dues", so to speak. That we are ready for the next step, not to take steps backward or be stagnate (I know this is not what a LDR is but I am just feeling things really heavy right now).
My close friend and her boyfriend starting dating 2 months before we did. They are planning to be engaged in January. I am so happy for her! This is ideally the timeline we would like for our own relationship but circumstances make it not possible. I am trying not to compare but it certainly is a thought that has crossed my mind.
I would consider our communication stelar and our relationship deeply healthy. But recently both of our patience has been short with each other for the first time, likely due to the frustration. Couple this with reexperiencing the technology challenges and being 12 hours apart it's hitting me like a ton of bricks.
And for the first time this stupid voice in my head is saying breaking up wouldn't be the worst. And so I've reflected on this foreign thought and realized that I never in a million years would want my best friend to not be a part of my life but maybe this part of me is saying wouldn't it be great to put dating on hold, just be bffs, and resume when we are together again? Then I wouldn't feel like I am missing out. Dumb right? Ya, impractical. It's incredibly selfish and such a short-viewed perspective. My mind is doing strange things right now.
Our faith in God is the central aspect of our relationship and we are blessed and confident that God continues to sustain our relationship. I rest in that, but I am also tired too.
Well, I don't know what the point of this is... has anyone else experienced long-distance, then time together and then distance again but way WAY harder? I am confident we WILL GET USED to this NEW NORMAL, but for now its hard and just doesn't seem fair. Welp, that's me and our LDR!
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