Does a long-distance relationship work if you have never met the person ?

[justahandi]

* Sorry about my English, I use Google translate, Thank youu*


We got to know each other in February 2020 on facebook, be friends, share everything, have faith together through Jesus. After 3 months we started a romantic relationship, even though I still feel wary about it, we love each other passionately and talk about future things together, sharing both good and bad things about each other. together to develop more. We have a lot of meaningful things together. I trust him to be such a real person, he is a man of strong faith, kind, and kind, he treats me very well and is patient with my worries and insecurities.

The relationship got worse because I was jealous, insecure, and irritable, because he didn't try to come to me and commit to my future. We stopped contacting each other for about 2 months, and started talking again as friends. He said he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and was nominated for higher studies in Theology and Philosophy, which he wanted so he wasn't sure about a future relationship with me anymore. I took him seriously and treated him like an emotional toy with me. But I accept, I live a happier, more optimistic, more comfortable life, he is still very active, caring, kind to me, tells me a lot of interesting things, teaches me a lot of things that he learned and we have fun again, do many things together, I feel that he cares and loves me very much. But to me it wasn't enough for a relationship, it wasn't realistic and we were like two guys behind the screen. It's been a year and a half now, is that all, I'm just a soul mate, I know he has no other woman but me, but you put your education too high and I don't matter anymore.

[autumn1790]

LDRs can definitely work without meeting each other, but from my experience, going so long without meeting can make you feel hopeless and wonder if this is worth it because you don't know how you'll be together in person. My husband and I went two and nearly a half years without meeting for the first time, and the last few months we argued like crazy because I felt hopeless and wanted to give up and he did not.

It sounds like you may have some work to do on yourself. You admit that you have been jealous, insecure, and treated him like a toy, while he has been trying to improve his future by undergoing most likely very stressful higher studies. LDRs cannot work very well unless you have some sort of confidence in yourself and your partner. Try to see that he is not putting his studies above you, he is temporarily focusing on education so that the future may be better for both of you. Take this time to work on yourself and your insecurities. That way, even if you don't end up with him, you'll be more emotionally stable and prepared for a long-term relationship.

[justahandi]

Thank you for your advice, sorry about translate, I think he's toying with me, not me. For 2 months, I have noticed my mistake and improved it, I am much more confident, positive, he cares about me a lot, but I don't know if there is a future when he said not to choose me anymore. I feel that he is worthy of my love, he is very kind and patient with my bad qualities, grows with me a lot, teaches me too.
So, thankkk you very much ^^^

[justahandi]

We already know how to manage relationships, I also gradually learned more mature. He has started the long-term study phase that can be 7 8 years and he thinks that we may have no future with each other.
But he's always been caring, sweet to me, he's the best man and I really trust him.
I felt scared about the future because I didn't know any end, but we all believe in the good plan of God with us, both of us have depends on each other.

[uniquefem]

Oh yes, i know lots of people actually never met in person and had LDR for years. That is no problem i think. These days you got lots of communication parts easier through video calls and all messengers in any ways. Its as if no different if the person actually live closer to you actually.

The only thing i feel you need to consider is--the fact that both of you seems has different expectation on the "relationship" or the outcome of your relationship. Seemed he don't intend any romantic relationship and just want to be friend and no more than that.

I think if you both already talked about this clearly, and you know what you want of him, then you know whether you want to invest on this relationship or not. Waiting for a person for years is no problem, as long as you both had commitment on goals that you both sets for your relationship. But if both of the person actually wanting different things, that could be a problem. Just don't want you at the end thinking you just wasting your time with this person. Regardless he just very caring etc.

[Voxpop L.]

That's exactly true. In my situation, after 3 months of being together almost everyday for 2 to 3 hours, I asked him what will be my standing in this relationship? And to my surprised he already laid out the plan for me to meet him after this pandemonium c subsides. So I'm waiting and hoping for the meeting.