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    Too long letters?

    What do you think about writing letters to each other?
    When me and my boyfriend had some problems, I felt like writing a letter helped explaining your feelings. But it always became so long...

    How should you think when you write a letter to make it a good one?

    #2
    I think it always depends on the situation. If I have something serious to talk about, I prefer to talk to my SO in person, skype, or phone. If I need to talk about something uncomfortable, it would be very selfish and cowardly to send a letter without facing my SO and give her the chance to react right away.

    But I do love letters! Especially handwritten ones. Besides my SO, I met two awesome girls on one of my cruises and they started becoming my pen pals. I am always excited to read their letters every time I receive them

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      #3
      Originally posted by Anna_Hagg View Post
      What do you think about writing letters to each other?
      When me and my boyfriend had some problems, I felt like writing a letter helped explaining your feelings. But it always became so long...

      How should you think when you write a letter to make it a good one?
      I met my husband by being his pen pal and we writing to each other letters for two years and it really helped cement our relationship. It certainly helped me open up more and we really got to know each other on a different level due to writing.

      Perhaps just writing shorter letters but more often would help. So you don't feel pushed to contain everything to want to say in one letter? I know when me and my hubby were having problems it sometimes became too overwhelming to say everything all at once. So I would write one letter per issue. Also helped him in many ways because he wasn't being hounded with long letters that he found hard to respond too....




      Started Writing - February 2010
      First Visit - September 2010
      Second Visit - June 2011
      Third Visit & His Release Date - February 2012
      Our Wedding Day - April 2012
      Submitted I-130 Visa Application - July 2012
      NOA1 - July 2012
      NOA2 - December 2012
      Fourth Visit - December 2012
      Closing The Distance - Watch this space

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        #4
        I'm going to piggy back to your question and ask can you send too many letters? I haven't seen my SO in almost 2 weeks (2 weeks monday) and I've written him 4-5 love letters. I almost find it therapeutic since I can't hold his hand or look him in the eyes anymore (for now). Could sending letters too often dillute the meaning of them? I know I say a ton in my letters about our future and how wonderful i think he is ect... could it become old? He hasn't written me at all but I'm thinking it's because he's too busy. Advice? Should i continue on my writing ways or should i really cut it down and try to communicate more via phone. I'm afraid our phone calls are getting pretty bland "what are you doing" "Nothing, you" "not much"...i'm sure you all know what I mean. :-/

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          #5
          I think writing is very good when there is something important to tell, be it handling a problem or just writing a love letter expressing feelings.
          Writing is good, because you have time to reflect and think about how to articulate your feelings, explain in more detail, motivate and so on.
          Also if you're upset it's easy to just say something you don't really mean, and will regret after being said.

          When I have something important to say to my girlfriend, i write e-mails, not the old fashion style of letters, communication will be to slow.

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            #6
            Whenever my SO and I have an issue to discuss we tend to save it for email since we know it's likely to turn out being lengthy. Also, as hans above me said, emails have the advantage of immediacy. The letters I've sent to my SO have always been... just short and sweet, I suppose!

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              #7
              my girlfriend and i send cards with letters at least once a month...just another way of communicating...and when you handwrite something...it just seems more personal...i love opening my mailbox...and seeing an envelope with her writing on the outside...i don't always put a long note in there..since we talk about anything all the time...lol...and she knows all my feelings...cuz i express them often..yea...i know...not alot of guys are like that...so it may be a little different with us...but yes...mail is really a great idea...

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                #8
                I love writing letters to her. My minimum is currently twice a month, this mainly because letters are cheap to send and because writing to her is my go-to method.
                When I'm feeling down or if we're having problems or whatnot I usually write her a letter and send it to her because it makes me feel closer to her and we don't focus so much on how bad our days were and just instead focus on how excited we are for the letter to be received.

                I don't always just write letters though. Sometimes I include small old photobooth pictures of us, small craft ideas and on sometimes comic strips that I found funny and thought she would like it. That along with a letter as to why I chose those things and some sweet lovey dovey stuff :P

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                  #9
                  I LOVE handwritten love letters! Sadly, my SO doesn't like writing them for whatever reason (guys are weird...)

                  I think that it's impossible for a love letter to be too long, I mean, more to read and more to enjoy right? Maybe I just see things differently.
                  I like switching it up sometimes (like putting glitter in the envelope with my perfume, of course with a warning label saying that it could get messy!)
                  or making little lists (What I love about you, What things remind me of you, etc.)
                  Silly things like that make it different and non-repetative (:
                  Love knows not distance, time, or logic.

                  Evan & Megan <3

                  07.20.13

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                    #10
                    My fiance and I send snail mail to each other once a week. I bought a book called "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married" by Monica Leahy for my Kindle and we exchange our answers via handwritten letters (usually 4-5 questions per letter). There are also some chapters that will require discussions over Skype, etc.! It's a lot of fun but may not be for everyone. I try to change things up a bit and send cute, funny or romantic cards sometimes. I buy stickers to jazz up my letters. Sometimes I put lipstick on and kiss the letter or spritz a bit of my perfume on it before sending. I also put small gifts in my envelopes sometimes, like keychains or pictures of me, etc. I wrote a list of 175 reasons I love him and have been sending them to him 4 at a time with each letter or card I send. I printed them all out on large address labels and stuck them on colorful cardstock. Each week, I add stickers and write the date on the back of each "reason". He really loves this! I bought a few cute coloring books at the dollar store and I will occasionally color a page to include with my letter. There are so many things you can do to keep things special!

                    We typically stick to the "rule" that we only discuss things that will not change and are not time sensitive in our snail mail letters as they sometimes take up to 2 weeks to arrive. For everything else, we use e-mail or instant messenger. I don't think a love letter can be too long. I think sending a lot in a short amount of time may be a little overwhelming (and there have been times that I have wanted to, but have held back). Sometimes I will write a letter when the mood strikes and then hang on to it until the next week, if I have just sent something.

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                      #11
                      i have just finished composing my first love letter since becoming LD this time around. it was brought on suddenly by a need to connect in more traditional ways. i very much doubt i'll get a like minded response via postman but i needed him to know my thoughts n feelings.

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