Wedding Fever! :P

[usmcgirl]

No, I'm not planning my wedding, yet, haha. But I have been talking things over with my mom (just for fun).
I know I want a white & dark blue wedding, and very traditional. My SO won't see me 24 hours before the wedding. I'll stay the night before at my parents' house. I want 4-5 bridesmaids and their dresses will be floor-length or like, ankle length.
There are a few controversial things I want your guys's opinions on.

I have a stepdad who has been here for me more than my biological dad. However, I want both of them at my wedding. So, I've decided that they will both walk me down the aisle (one on each arm, my maid of honor will hold my bouquet and I'll take it before I stand in front of him) and I will have two Father-Daughter dances. Is that wrong, or offensive to my biological dad?

Both me and my SO are Agnostic but I want a traditional Christian wedding. (And I'm sure he'll let me have it, haha.) Would that be like, totally wrong?

That's all I can think of at the moment, but I have loads more to come! Your opinions, please!

[Bethypoo]

It depends. If you are doing the 2 dances and both of them on your arm thing just so you dont hurt your biological dads feelings... then I dont think it is a good idea. You should have who YOU want to walk you down the aisle. But if that is what you want because it just is, then I dont see why not. Like we have said on other threads... it is your wedding thus your choice!!

[lademoiselle]

How do your dads feel about each other? Of course it'll be your wedding, and I'm sure both of them will want nothing more than to see you happy no matter what. I think that's something to at least consider though. Are they likely to mind the arrangement, or do you think they'd find it too awkward to cope with? I totally understand where you're coming from with the idea, after all, you've had two prominent father figures in your life so naturally you want them to be equally involved on your big day! The one thing I would suggest is to perhaps save the first father-daughter dance for your biological dad if you're concerned he might feel a tad wounded by any of the proceedings.

Regarding the second question, I'm not actually sure how it works - if you have to belong to the Christian faith or something to have a religious ceremony. Maybe not. I've asked myself the same question too though; I believe in God and Jesus but I'd say I'm more spiritual than religious. As for my SO, he was raised a Catholic but doesn't roll with that anymore. I'm not sure what we'd do, because I'm drawn to the idea of a church wedding but I think it kind of defeats the purpose considering our beliefs! A register office might be more appropriate, but it seems a bit low-key to me I'd prefer a stately home.

I guess you still have plenty of time to consider the whole thing. After all, what you like now may change in a few years' time! Whatever happens I'm sure you'll end up having the day of your dreams, so while it's wonderful to have an outline of it here and now, don't worry if the picture looks a bit different by the time you actually get there

[Kristin91]

I know at my wedding I'm going to have two father-daughter dances just so I can have one with my dad and one with my step-dad! I haven't decided who will walk me down the aisle (just dad, or both of them) yet, but I still have a while to think about it

[kirbycat]

When my stepsister got married a few months back, she had both her biological father (who hasn't been a very good presence in her life) and my dad (aka her stepfather, who has been a good presence) walk her down the aisle. It was important for her to have both father figures involved in that way, and they have enough respect for each other - and love for her - that it worked well. Unless there's a lot of animosity between your father and your stepdad, it can definitely be done.

Have you discussed this with your mom at all? What does she think about having both of them involved?

As for having a Christian wedding - I know plenty of non-religious folks who have had church ceremonies. One issue you might face is that many (if not most?) priests/pastors will require the couple to go through some brief pre-marriage counseling with them before they'll perform the ceremony, so you'd have to be prepared for that. But then, if you were terribly opposed to the idea of discussing faith-related topics, you probably wouldn't be wanting a church wedding in the first place!

[Zephii]

I think your plan for having both dads and two dances is great Can't see why that wouldn't work.
However, you don't hold your boquet during the ceremony, usually you pass it to your MOH when you get to the end of the asile, so perhaps you might keep that just for the photos and reception? Or something, I don't know!

For the Christian wedding bit, it's your wedding! and being agnostic, it's not like you don't believe in something.. so, I figure it's more or less fine. I know my SO (who's agnostic too) would refuse point-blank to having a Christian wedding though, so you really should talk with him about it. Also, stay true to yourself. Other than bible readings and being in a church I'm not sure what parts of a wedding are particularly Christian, but don't use anything that doesn't resonate with you. It's about you and him, so be true to yourselves and relationship - don't lie even if it's by suggestion rather than verbal.