Question about weddings/marriage.

[dukes2011]

I have never been one of those girls who dreamed about her wedding day and I've always felt it's about celebrating the couple. When my SO and I talk about marriage, it's almost never about the wedding itself. It's about closing the distance, where we'd live, buying a house, getting a dog, and starting our lives together part we talk about. As for our wedding, we'll probably plan it together and I'll be the one to get things done. I am pretty detailed oriented and he is not the best at following through. He does know about my few requests and he finds them hilarious- 1. I want to get married in the church I've gone to my whole life and 2. there has to be an open bar

[lyonsgirl]

Please plan my wedding. I shudder at the thought of planning D:

I'll help!! I have so many ideas I can't possibly use them all on my wedding. I was just thinking the other day how I wouldn't mind planning weddings.

[BlackRoseOpal]

Well of course the wedding is a wonderful occasion that should never be forgotten, but the marriage is so much more important. Marriage is SUPPOSED to last forever, and it might not be easy sometimes. I mean, this is coming from a young girl who is not married and has never been, but I think I have seen enough successes and failures to know a little about what I'm talking about.
I think the wedding should be about the couple, it just so happens that the bride freaks out a litte more about it because she wants it to be a happy memory, something to fill photo albums with.

The couple needs to be involved in the marriage wholeheartedly. I think that's why a lot fail now a days. Both parties don't contribute...I dunno, I've just always felt very strongly about marriage and how sacred it should be but isn't anymore.

[Kristin91]

Before I met my SO I was convinced I was going to have my wedding the way I wanted it, and no one was going to give me ifs, ands, or buts about it... That was the way I perceived my mom's wedding to my step-dad: he really let her have what she wanted since it was her first wedding and his second. However, now that I actually do see a future with Newton and I really do want to marry him someday I've realized that I think the wedding is much more about the couple than the bride, as you said. I mean of course the bride will get a lot of the attention (dress shopping, etc.), but I think a lot of the decisions should be made together. And I think the wedding should reflect who the couple is, not each individual... For example my SO and I really like being outdoors so we're hoping to have an outdoor ceremony and/or reception. Both people should make some sacrifices for what the other wants, and I think as long as it's a happy medium and both people are happy with the way the wedding is being planned then it will turn out very well!

[Kristin91]

He's asked me to stop planning so seriously until it's closer to actually happening. He has his opinions and maybe a couple ideas too. But I don't think they'll be coming out into discussion any time soon. Hopefully, I won't be pulling teeth when the time comes.

This sounds like me and my SO right now... he doesn't want to deal with wedding ideas when we're not engaged.

[corrda00]

It depends the couple really. Most cases the bride knows more about what she wants than the groom does. My SO has had a place picked out since she was little and even has a general idea for the dress. She even knows what she's goin to put on the invitations

I on the other hand pretty much know that Im goin to wear a tux. Its probably goin to be black. And we'll have cake. Lots of cake.

So I guess it is about celebrating the couple, but lots of times one or the other will know more of what they want.

[efish1042]

We would plan together. I can't imagine not planning my wedding with the person I'm spending the rest of my life with. However, if your friend is happy to let his SO have her dream wedding with no input, then don't feel bad for him. He's clearly happy to see her happy

[lyonsgirl]

I don't feel bad for him, as long as he is happy. I'm concerned that there are other things that keep popping up (major things, IMO) that aren't making him happy, but he's in denial about them/can't see them. Well, all I can do is give an outside opinion, and he ignores it probably 80-90% of the time anyway, so.. I'm beginning to think I just need to not any more. Well, I'll figure something out.