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    #16
    it did bother me in the beginning that i might be seen as a visa bride. i was worried what people thought but no one close to us has said anything of the sort to me or my SO. I guess it wasn't seen as anything new to date someone overseas for his family. His younger sister married a welsh man and well im from england. both Ben (the sisters husband) and i don't need to move to the states to further our careers.. in fact i think he's a little worse off financially.

    Only people im worried about are the USCIS not believing we are in a bona fide relationship. For me i have to say i no longer get upset or even worry about what people think, they are entitled to it. I dont know how you can reassure your SO, my SO and i did discuss it a couple of times but now its not something that ever comes up. He knows how i feel about him and that is all there is to it.



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      #17
      The amount of times we've had this thrown at us. Tbh, ive heard so much rubbish about my relationship now i have learnt not to care what people say when they slag me off. Many people have said he is with me for a visa and vice versa. Ah well, who cares :P I love him, he loves me, thats all that matters right?

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        #18
        Originally posted by Xanahtas View Post
        The amount of times we've had this thrown at us. Tbh, ive heard so much rubbish about my relationship now i have learnt not to care what people say when they slag me off. Many people have said he is with me for a visa and vice versa. Ah well, who cares :P I love him, he loves me, thats all that matters right?
        I feel like that's all that SHOULD matter, but I still feel like I have to defend my relationship because at the end of the day that's what I will have to do to prove to immigration that the love is real.

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          #19
          Originally posted by 13000km View Post
          I feel like that's all that SHOULD matter, but I still feel like I have to defend my relationship because at the end of the day that's what I will have to do to prove to immigration that the love is real.
          That's what we should say. "If the federal government thinks my relationship is genuine, you have no business thinking otherwise" Honestly, I've had blood tests, chest x-rays, a complete stranger peeking down my undies to prove that I am female, interrogated twice, and have to do all of that AGAIN now I'm here, just to marry my husband. Most "normal" couples can get a marriage license and marry within a couple of days. There is more room for marriage fraud with them then through immigration.
          (That wasn't a jab at couples who come from the same country btw, it just annoys me that some people seem to think it's so easy to go through this system, when it most definitely is NOT)

          <3 The day we met : 10.31.2009
          <3 Our first Date: 11.04.2009
          The Day we went long distance: 08.08.2010
          <3 He came to England: 12.27.2010-01.07.2011
          <3 My trip to Ohio: 5.29.2011-6.09.2011
          Our first Christmas visit: 12.23.2011-1.7.2011
          Distance closed: 2.29.2012!!!!!!!!

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            #20
            I got this as jokes before and during his first visit. Saying he was coming just to marry me so he could stay here. Along with other comments. It did bother me a lot, we got a lot of judgement, before they really even knew anything about us. But now, after that visit, the 2nd visit and knowing im going there, it has died down a lot. I think because were young, seeing all the work thats being put in just so we can be together shows everyone that it's serious and more then just for a "green card"
            But yeah the comments have always bothered me.... I usually just keep quiet and then vent about it to my SO lol
            I love you Nathan <3
            sigpic
            5/25/09 <3

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              #21
              Originally posted by nicole View Post
              That's what we should say. "If the federal government thinks my relationship is genuine, you have no business thinking otherwise" Honestly, I've had blood tests, chest x-rays, a complete stranger peeking down my undies to prove that I am female, interrogated twice, and have to do all of that AGAIN now I'm here, just to marry my husband. Most "normal" couples can get a marriage license and marry within a couple of days. There is more room for marriage fraud with them then through immigration.
              (That wasn't a jab at couples who come from the same country btw, it just annoys me that some people seem to think it's so easy to go through this system, when it most definitely is NOT)
              Are they ALLOWED to do that?! Sounds like a sexual offense to me. /:
              The people who DO get away with marriage fraud, I really wonder how they do it, and how elaborate a story they have to make up. It also makes me mad because it makes things that much harder for the real couples.

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                #22
                Originally posted by 13000km View Post
                Are they ALLOWED to do that?! Sounds like a sexual offense to me. /:
                The people who DO get away with marriage fraud, I really wonder how they do it, and how elaborate a story they have to make up. It also makes me mad because it makes things that much harder for the real couples.
                The doctor at the medical exam- it's not uncommon for them to do so either. But seeing as they normally do a breast exam, you'd think they'd be able to tell male from female from that yes?

                I guess some people can be very convincing, I've read a few stories on Visajourney saying once they got married, their spouse just switched personalities, ran away and claim domestic violence against the American citizen so that they can stay in the country... I keep thinking there was probably red flags down the line, but it still happens. Very annoying we all get tarred with the same brush though *sigh*

                <3 The day we met : 10.31.2009
                <3 Our first Date: 11.04.2009
                The Day we went long distance: 08.08.2010
                <3 He came to England: 12.27.2010-01.07.2011
                <3 My trip to Ohio: 5.29.2011-6.09.2011
                Our first Christmas visit: 12.23.2011-1.7.2011
                Distance closed: 2.29.2012!!!!!!!!

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                  #23
                  People have said it to Obi and I, usually in more of a positive way like "Once your married you'll have each other's citizenship and wont have to worry anymore! Yay!" ... Yeah I freaking wish, but anyway!

                  But I can understand why people think it's for the green card, because in my last job every other woman I worked with had done exactly that - Married a Canadian so that they could move to Canada, and eventually sponsor over their families as well. They married men they'd never met, for a country that promised a better life. The fact is, these people do exist and there are a lot of them, so if people occasionally mistake me for one of them, I don't let it burn my tail feathers. I just make a joke out of it, and move on.
                  Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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                    #24
                    Originally posted by nicole View Post
                    The doctor at the medical exam- it's not uncommon for them to do so either. But seeing as they normally do a breast exam, you'd think they'd be able to tell male from female from that yes?

                    I guess some people can be very convincing, I've read a few stories on Visajourney saying once they got married, their spouse just switched personalities, ran away and claim domestic violence against the American citizen so that they can stay in the country... I keep thinking there was probably red flags down the line, but it still happens. Very annoying we all get tarred with the same brush though *sigh*
                    I have had it happen as well in medical exams.

                    I think it is just to cover their butts in case something happens.

                    I mean it's just a look anyway. No touching.

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                      #25
                      I can't wait to bring my SO around and tell everyone that I found her on the internet. The first time I told her that while we were chatting on skype, she gave me the "you must be kidding" look. When she saw the smile on my face, she knew it was something that I would really do and she started laughing. Both of us know how much we mean to each other, how much we love each other. I don't care what my family and friends think but I've been that way most of my life with everything. I asked her if that would bother her and she told me that as long as she has my love, that's all that matters.

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                        #26
                        When we first got together, we joked about going on a trip to Vegas, where I would get him drunk enough to get hitched in an Elvis chapel with me. Solely because it would freak people out there that the white girl had to knock a Mexican guy out first to get him to marry her

                        Itīs definitely an active thing with us. I am no longer on speaking terms with almost all of my dadīs side of the family, because of how they treat Miguel for being Mexican. It sounds bad, but I secretly enjoy people who take that attitude. It makes me feel morally superior, AND I get someone to take my anger out on. Iīm not a nice person But you know what? If someone refuses to see how beautiful two people are together and only sees a border hopper in the making, than fuck them. They deserve my criticism.

                        "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
                        -Miguel De Cervantes

                        Read our story HERE
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