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    "The most relaxed wedding ever"

    My SO and I just sort of "finalized" our plans to get married in January. I told him I wanted to get married on 1-3-13 because it was prime and cool, he called me a dork, but then liked that it would be easy for him to remember. (he can never even remember how old I am, so a nice repeating number would be good! jaja) We've decided to keep it a secret (so shhh on facebook!) until we get there in January and just be like "hey we're gonna get married!" I have family where we're going in CO, and I think my mom and her husband will probably fly out too because they love vacations. I have some friends in the area who could witness for us if need be, or just find some willing stranger on the street.

    We want to keep it a secret so people don't feel left out. We plan to have a nice ceremony and reception once we are living in the states, and that everyone will be invited to. But we want this to seem spontaneous so those who can't make it don't feel bad. This is just the paperwork part, the party and celebrations come later! (not that we won't go out for beer after the paper part!)

    I told him he had to propose to me eventually and he asked before or after the marriage. I told him after would be fine, I wouldn't be able to keep a proposal update off facebook. Then he asked if I wanted rings, I told him he'd have to buy me a ring eventually but for the marriage we could just use one of the rings I have already. He brings up the point that he doesn't have any rings and I said I assumed he wouldn't wear one since he worked so much with his hands but that I would get him one if he wanted. He laughed and said that this was the most relaxed wedding ever. I said it might be a little unconventional, but it works for us.

    The one thing I need to figure out is we want to sign a prenup and I have to figure out if I can do that here in Costa Rica, or if I'd have to do it in the USA. If I had to do it in the USA it would sure put a damper on things and would make it a lot damn harder to just "spontaneously" get married. Or can you sign a prenup after being married? Or is that a really stupid question since "pre" is in the word...

    Anyways, I guess we're both ready now. I admitted to being pretty freaked out at first, and he told me that we could wait if I wanted to. But I've calmed down and have actually gotten pretty excited about the whole thing. It's kind of sneaky and fun and will make a good story. Sorry for basically repeating my blog I wrote a few days ago. I'm just excited and can't tell anyone because it's supposed to be a secret!!!! Thanks for lending an ear

    #2
    How exciting!!! Seems just your style, it's so great!
    I have no idea about prenups, cant help there... but eeeeee.
    Keep us updated?
    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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      #3
      The after wedding prenup is called (appropriately enough) a postnup Just make sure they recognize them in Colorado, since I think the state you sign it in matters.

      Congrats!! This is freakin awesome news
      Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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        #4
        EEK!!! This is awesome!! I'm so excited for you. And I remember when you were all scared of commitment haha

        Like Moon said, they do have postnups. But I would do some research on those b/c they are not as universally recognized as prenups. And I'm not sure in which state it counts (ie. the state where you get married or the state where you divorce). Talk to a lawyer in the states and see what they say. You could also do a prenup in Costa Rica and then maybe do one of those DIY prenups that you print up online that is valid in the US at the same time or get one drawn up by US based lawyers and then sign in Costa Rica with some official witnesses (like at a US embassy or something). Okay, that's my brainstorm!

        Anyway, EEEEK!

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          #5
          wowww this is amazingggggggggg congratss i m soo excited for youuuuuuuuuuu hhehe keep us updatedddd

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            #6
            So exciting! Like Zephii said, the 'most relaxed wedding ever' is just like the two of you! I don't know anything about the legal stuff, but I wish you guys all the best! (:

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              #7
              Aww, congratulations! That's wonderful. Good luck with planning everything

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                #8
                YAY!

                No idea about prenups/postnups but still yay!
                As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

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                  #9
                  Thanks everyone! I like the idea of doing some research and doing a DIY prenup. Lawyers are always super expensive and I've read it's good to get it done at least 3 months before the marriage otherwise it might not hold up in court. And it seems like a Costa Rican prenup won't be recognized in the USA. I'm worried a prenup might have adverse affects on our visa application because so much stigma is attached to having one. But oh well, we have plenty of proof of a real relationship so things should go well.

                  Thanks again

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                    #10
                    Yay!!! That's awesome! I'm so excited for you! It definitely sounds like it will be a fun wedding.


                    2016 Goal: Buy a house.
                    Progress: Complete!

                    2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
                    Progress: Working on it.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by lucybelle View Post
                      I'm worried a prenup might have adverse affects on our visa application because so much stigma is attached to having one. But oh well, we have plenty of proof of a real relationship so things should go well.
                      I've done a crap-ton of research on marriage/fiance visas to the US and, as far as I know, at no point do they ask about a prenup or would even see that you had one.

                      Good luck researching the DIY ones but I would still consider using lawyers...they may cost a lot but they could also save you a lot of money and grief in the future. I just don't know how recognized the DIY ones are.
                      I would also suggest researching the laws in Costa Rica because maybe you would need to get 2 prenups (one for each country) or maybe just one for the USA. For example, Malian family code is very explicit about what happens in the case of the divorce (it even says how much needs to go to the wife (or wives) each month.

                      And like you said, do it early or it can be said that one of you agreed to it under duress and then it wouldn't hold up in court.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Yeah maybe I can find a lawyer hotline or something and get some free legal advice. It's hard to find information on this, but I have also only begun looking.

                        Maybe we can get a prenup done in CR and then a postnup in the USA. Perhaps the two together would work in court... who knows! *continues to read a whole bunch of legal jargon that I only half understand*

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                          #13
                          *sigh*

                          I just posted on a marriage forum for info on a prenup and this is the response I got:

                          "If you are marrying strictly to provide him with a visa, you better get your stories straight or you could face some pretty harsh penalties for visa fraud."

                          Ugh. I don't know whether to be infuriated or just disappointed. I guess I knew people like that existed, but I never came across them. It's sad people will jump to conclusions like that as soon as a visa is even mentioned.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by lucybelle View Post
                            *sigh*

                            I just posted on a marriage forum for info on a prenup and this is the response I got:

                            "If you are marrying strictly to provide him with a visa, you better get your stories straight or you could face some pretty harsh penalties for visa fraud."

                            Ugh. I don't know whether to be infuriated or just disappointed. I guess I knew people like that existed, but I never came across them. It's sad people will jump to conclusions like that as soon as a visa is even mentioned.

                            Ugh is right.

                            VERY EXCITED FOR YOU!!! Sounds like a perfect plan!


                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by lucybelle View Post
                              *sigh*

                              I just posted on a marriage forum for info on a prenup and this is the response I got:

                              "If you are marrying strictly to provide him with a visa, you better get your stories straight or you could face some pretty harsh penalties for visa fraud."

                              Ugh. I don't know whether to be infuriated or just disappointed. I guess I knew people like that existed, but I never came across them. It's sad people will jump to conclusions like that as soon as a visa is even mentioned.

                              People are dicks. I can't understand how they can't understand how much more complicated things are just because the person you love happens to be born in another part of the world. Since when is wanting to live together in the same country NOT a valid reason to marry?
                              I would definitely be infuriated.


                              Those are really cool plans, though!
                              When I was a kid friends of my parents married secretly and sent out cards later on. They used funeral announcement cards with the typical black and white design that said something like "In complete silence..." on the outside and then put a photo of them after the wedding and wrote "did we get married on [date] in [place]." (or something to that effect). Even then I thought was a super creative idea.
                              Last edited by Dziubka; June 1, 2012, 03:01 PM.

                              Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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