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how old were you when you got engaged???

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    #16
    I'm 19 and not engaged.

    I agree that I don't really think it's an age issue but a maturity issue. I know a few couples that could probably handle marriage at my age. My parents were engaged at 19, married at 22, and have an amazing marriage. However, I also know many couples that are not mature enough to handle marriage. My friend just got married at 18. She's been married for 4 months now. They are having a very rough time currently (divorce has been mentioned) but are working through it. We'll see what happens.

    I also think the length of the relationship is important. I would be wary of anyone getting married too early, although the older you are the less time is seen as acceptable.

    I personally would not get married before the age of 21 (I want to drink at my own wedding!) and most likely not engaged until a year before the wedding. But that's just me. I also would not marry someone I hadn't spent a significant amount of time with in person. My SO and I are currently living together for the summer and I think it's good preparation.

    Became a couple: March 17th, 2010
    Started our college long distance relationship: August 2011
    Surprise engagement in Disneyworld! : March 22nd, 2013
    Closed the distance: May 2nd, 2014
    Became his wife and started our happily ever after!: May 17th, 2014

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      #17
      The bottom line is a proposal will not fix a broken relationship. If he isn't going to support you while you're not engaged/married, what in the world makes you think he'll change once you are?

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        #18
        I was 21 when my SO and I got engaged and 21 when we got married as well.
        Like others have said, I don't think it's about the age, it's more about the couple. Maturity, life situation and etc.
        I'm closing in on 23 now... and I do feel like I've learned a lot about myself the past years with my SO (incl. our time together before marriage). And I also feel like I've changed a lot, I've become less selfish, more compromising, a better listener and more mature. It wasn't easy, but I have a lot more confidence in our marriage now.

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          #19
          My girlfriend and I know we are going to get married. I'm 21 and she's 19. We've only been officially in a relationship for about 5 months, but we've been best friends for five years. We won't officially get engaged until she graduates from uni, but I suppose we're engaged in all but name.

          I think the age for getting married depends on the relationship an the maturity of the people involved. Some people are ready to get married at 18, and some aren't ready until they're 29.

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            #20
            If you are absolutely sure and ready to be with this person for the rest of your life, then there is no certain age. Just think of all different scenarios, good and bad, and if you see yourself with your SO through all of those, and able to withstand the worst of possibilities, I believe you are ready. Love doesn't know age, in my opinion.

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              #21
              Over here long engagements aren't uncommon (my parents were ingaged atleast 5 years before they gotmarried if I remember correctly), probably because a lot of people just don't have the funds to go through with a wedding. I know quite a few in my age that has got or getting engaged (I'm 18) and I don't think that is too young. On the other hand, I do expect them to have a fairly long engagement... Bottom line: I agree with the other posts, but I wouldn't want the pressure to get married within a certain time frame.
              We part only to meet again ~ J.Gay

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                #22
                My fiance proposed about a month after we met and I finally said yes about two months later. He was eighteen when he first asked me and nineteen when I said yes while I was sixteen.
                It really depends on the maturity of the couple. I've known people who got engaged in their thirties after knowing each other for years and their marriage not even lasting one year. And I've also known people who got married six weeks after they met and are happy still after forty years together. It really all depends on the people, not their age or how long they've dated/known each other.

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                  #23
                  Originally posted by Alsfia View Post
                  I know quite a few in my age that has got or getting engaged (I'm 18) and I don't think that is too young.
                  My SO got engaged at 19 with his 17 year-old girlfriend of three years Thankfully for me, she broke up with him a few months after that, arguing that they were too young and that they needed to date other people (they were each other's first everything).

                  I was 28 when we got engaged (he was 27). We got married 17 months later, so it's not that long an engagement.
                  I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

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                    #24
                    I got engaged on my 26th birthday, and he was a day short of turning 29. (His birthday is the day after mine.) We were LD during our year-long engagement.
                    My heart belongs to a pilot!
                    ~*~
                    ~*~
                    [/center]

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by ~whendarknessfalls View Post
                      Hey guys! my SO and i have been seriously talking about getting engaged at some point this summer... 0_o Crazy!
                      He is 22 and i am 20...is that too young? I'm just curious what the average age is. How old were you when you got engaged?
                      I was 18, he was 21
                      "I love the stars and the moon because I know that I'm always sitting under the exact same ones as you"

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                        #26
                        I don't think there is an "average" age, tbh. A friend of mine lives near Manhattan (New York). He doesn't even want to consider marriage until he's at LEAST 27. Another friend lives in near Seattle, Washington. She's been married since 2008 and has two kids. Like a lot of others, it depends on you.

                        FWIW, we got engaged this past October. I was (still currently am) 24. He was (is for another month) 23. We'll be 25&24 when we get married.


                        2016 Goal: Buy a house.
                        Progress: Complete!

                        2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
                        Progress: Working on it.

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                          #27
                          I was 40 & my SO was 39..we were engaged for roughly four weeks before we tied the knot....




                          Started Writing - February 2010
                          First Visit - September 2010
                          Second Visit - June 2011
                          Third Visit & His Release Date - February 2012
                          Our Wedding Day - April 2012
                          Submitted I-130 Visa Application - July 2012
                          NOA1 - July 2012
                          NOA2 - December 2012
                          Fourth Visit - December 2012
                          Closing The Distance - Watch this space

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                            #28
                            We didn't go through a huge proposal (but I'm sure he'll still do that eventually.) We just decided that we were going to get married. We've had many talks about it, and have been talking about it since I was 17 and he was 22. Now I'm 20 and he's 25 and we've still got the same plans. But we won't actually get married for a year or two, or more still! We've got time...we know that. He wants to have a steady job before we get married and live together because he doesn't want us to have any problems paying bills or anything. Which I'm okay with.

                            Some people are able to get married young and make it through. Some people are not. Don't think you're ready if there's ANY cloud of doubt though. Have important talks about finances, places to live, the way to run the house, children, all of the important stuff. Don't let the fairytale of living with the man of your dreams get in the way of the important aspect of sharing a home with someone and marrying them.



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                              #29
                              Agree with others - it depends on the maturity of the couple. My SO and I started 'seeing' eachother LD when I was 24, and he was 26. He proposed last August (when we were 27, and 29). Some have thought the relationship too short to be moving to marriage already, but my SO and I have discussed it a number of times to realise that we were ready to take the next big step.

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                                #30
                                I used to always think that age had nothing to do with anything, maturity and commitment is what matters etc etc... My ex and I started dating when I was 17, got engaged when I was 19, and married when I was 20. He was 20, 22, and 23 respectively. Then we got divorced when I was 26. While I certainly don't think age was the only reason we didn't work out, I don't think being so young helped any. We both changed a lot in our 8+ years together. And I know he felt he missed out on a lot of his youth. His friends were out partying, celebrating being young 20 somethings and he was at home with me. I also changed a lot of my life plans to be with him. We both made huge sacrifices in the name of love and in the end, it didn't work out any way.

                                I don't think getting married young means you won't make it, but I'd say from my own experience that it's a harder road than you realize. I thought for sure my ex and I were "different" than every other couple who didn't work out. I loved him with everything I had but it wasn't enough. Just a cautionary tale.



                                Met online: 1/30/11
                                Met in person: 5/30/12
                                Second visit: 9/12/12
                                Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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