Name changes...why is this such a hard decision?

[Captivated]

I, for the first time, wrote my first name and new last name in an order for a new name plate at work. I just sat there, staring at the new name, heart thumping a bit faster. Yes, a bit dramatic. But I'm having such a hard time making this decision! Do I change it? Or leave it? Not going to hyphenate.

My fiance has been incredibly understanding and isn't making me change my name. It's exciting to think that I can now take his name. But then I look at my own family name...I love it. And the fact that I'm as independent as they come, makes it even harder to do this. No I'm not some extreme feminist by any means but I just find this so difficult.

Are any of you going through this? Are you changing your name?

Ugh...the wedding is next Saturday and although I technically don't need to make a decision by this time, I still feel I should.

[lucybelle]

There's a whole thread on this, but I'll answer anyways.

I have never even considered changing my last name. I don't have a pretty last name, but it is what it is. I was born with this name and I'll die that way. I also don't like that the female has to change her name. The thing that bothers me the most is the whole Mr. and Mrs. Husband's Full Name. Oh no. I am not and will never be Mrs. Husband's Full Name. I think that's super chauvinistic.

Luckily, in Hispanic countries it is not expected for either party to change their name. So this was never even a discussion with me and my SO

[CaptainKaz]

I've had a lot of things to come to terms with now that I'm getting hitched - most of them to do with losing my freedom and gaining another family when I do my best to avoid the one I have.

Weirdly enough, though, this was never an issue. I'm changing my name. I prefer his, hold no sentimental value for my own, and we both have a surname that begins with the same letter, so I can keep my initials! Means I don't have to get rid of my monogrammed knickers. Why are they monogrammed? In case I get struck with accute, explosive amnesia.

Also, my SO really wanted me to take his name. I think it's a possessiveness thing. It's the only thing he's really pushed for, and I'm cool with it.

[kittyo9]

My SO's name clashes with mine like you wouldn't believe. I have the most American/English-sounding name, and his is Chinese. You'd think they would go alright together, but they don't, at all. Like you can't even say our names together, it's that bad. xD Too many hard sounds.

I also really like my name the way it is. My dad named his company after me when he was still around, and my sister and I share the same initials, as well as alliteration with our first and last names. It would feel really, really weird to break that, and also like a disservice to my dad. So I kind of feel the same... I'm really conflicted. I like the idea of joining his family and taking his name (and avoiding confusion when it comes to things like parent-teacher conferences), but I hate the way it sounds. Definitely not hyphenating. What a disaster that would be... xD

[Zephii]

I changed mine. I can't say I was thrilled to have his name, because, well... it's the kind of name that attracts it's own jokes, but it was important to him, it's traditional, probably looks better/more committed for the visa stuff and I don't want a different name than our kids. (If we'd had kids out of wedlock they'd have my name, but now we're married doing that would be just slack)

I'm still gradually changing things over. It was weird at first, and I did feel like I lost part of myself - because a few years ago I changed both my given names as well. So on paper, I'm not at all the same person. But, I like who I am now better, so I think it's fitting.

[nicole]

I wanted to change my last name, like straight away. I've no attachment to mine really, and I like his; it means "eccentric", which fits us both pretty well lol. But due to my immigration stuffs, I couldn't change everything right away. I've been married for nearly 6 months (where the hell did the time go??) and only just got my Social Security card in my new name on Monday- now I can go through and change everything, which isn't a lot at the moment, but it will feel good once everything has changed- it's weird having half your stuff in one name and half in another!

[hans]

I think it should not be a given to change name at marriage. Her in Sweden I think I have noticed a change in the way that earlier it was always the wife that took the mans name. Today a lot of people keep their names, and even in some cases the man takes the wife:s name.
I think you should keep your name if you like it.
Also like to say I agree with lucybelle, good point.

[lademoiselle]

I'd want to take my SO's surname if we got married. He told me once he wouldn't mind if I didn't want to, but I guess I'm pretty traditional in that sense. Also, I think his last name is beautiful

[elina]

My SO's last name is one of the most common ones in England, but I'd still like to have that. It sounds pretty good with Elina Hyphenating isn't an option, my last name and his sounds horrendous together XD Oh no. And I'd definitely not want him to get my last name. I love my family, but I don't feel the need to keep my last name because of it. I'd like to get his and that's that

[princessmeg1328]

My fiance and I have talked about this a little bit. He would really like for me to change my last name to his which I don't have a problem with, but I would really like to hyphenate my last name. All of my cousins on my dad's side are girls so we're the last with the name, and I'd like to hold onto my last name. Plus, I think it all sounds really pretty together. Either way, I have to spell it out once I move to England anyway. Apparently, his last name isn't very common either.

[Trethsparr]

I took my husband's name.

It is pretty funny, though, as I married someone with a last name that rhymes with my maiden name. I didn't plan it that way, I swear.

[Anolinde]

I haven't decided either if I'll take his last name or not. I think it wouldn't be so bad considering we share similar last names that start with the same first letter and I never really liked my last name much my whole life because it's my estranged father's name and not my mom's and I'm the only one in the family that has it -3- A change would be cool maybe.

[D.4C]

my girlfriend and i have talked about this too...and at first she said to me that she was thinking of maybe hyphenating...because she changed her last name to her daughters name...so that she had the connection...and i said i understood that...and was ok with it...but she has been back and forth...i have called her my future mrs. (my full name)...and she loves it when i do...i don't think it is chauvinistic at all...but i know everyone is different...plus i told her...if she did want to take my last name...and still wanted that connection with her daughter...that i would adopt her...so that she had the same last name too...

[Xanahtas]

Me and Sud are gonna double barrel ours because i didnt wanna take his name because i dont wanna be directly associated with his family, and neither does he anymore, and because i like having a - in it, lol We spoke about it and decided to mix it up a little. But since mine is already double barreled, (when my parents married, my mum didnt wanna take my dads, so they double barraled it) I'm dropping my dads half of the name from it and adding Sud's last name on the end. And Sud is using that too

[TwoThree]

I still haven't made a decision on that. I'm thinking hyphenating the names would be my best option (though it's a bit awkward to pronounce). Honestly I have as many valid reason to want to change my name than to keep my own.