Mixed Marriage between Indonesian & Scottish (British)

[gracela]

Hellooooow,,

I am Grace. 25 years old and i'm Indonesian. I have a 2.5 years long distance relationship with my Scottish boyfriend (Michael, 25 years old) who spends most of his time in Scotland, UK. I have questions about whole marriage idea because i believe it is not gonna be JUST a normal married #eehhh i mean, come on Indonesia and British??Anyone experience that ?? or ever heard about it ??


First of all, let me explain briefly about my relationship with him. Michael and I met when he came here for work in English course as an English teacher in May 2010. We wasted our two months by being best friend haha but i need to admit that the best friend period that makes our feeling grows fast and STRONG! Then, he finally show and tell his feeling to me. Sadly, he has to come back home for university to get his bachelor so he can get a better job. I wasn't that sure at that time for a LDR things but then he shows me everything with a genuine love and care so finally we both feel like we found TRUE love & soulmate. We see each other around 3 times a year (3 times in 2010; 3 times in 2011). In 2012, He visited me here (Indonesia) most of the time but i visited him once (2010). I tried to visit him again(2011) but the UK embassy rejected my visa for a non-sense reasons last January. So he visited me on last May for 2 months (uni breaks). He's working at the moment as a social-worker and has a business in energy surveyor. I also work in my family company. So, financially we're saved! Each of us met the partner's family ( I met his parents and big family and stayed with them for 3 months; He also met & fully accepted by my family and every time he visited me, he always stay in my parent's house)

January 2nd 2013, He plans to come here and i know maybe it's sound weird because we plan the engagement thing. But yeah we are planing to engagedin January and have a wedding in August (EXCITEDDDD!!) So, i am now busy find out about the marriage and VISA! The papers are frustrating and i need help. Did you guys ever experience the similar things like this (stress with the visa because of the cross-country marriage)?? Will be appreciate more if there's some Indonesians & British can help and share story regarding this issue. Thanks Guysssss xxxxxxxxxx Much love from here.

[snow_girl]

I think if you love each other it doesn't matter what your background is.

[gracela]

I know.. :-) Thank you... But the question is more about taking care the VISA? Immigration?? Anyone having these difficulties for marriage? For me and my SO is no problem and so is family. Right now, it looks like the immigration will be our threads? Any idea, please HELP! cheersss snow_girl btw

[serafina]

hey Grace (: i'm from indonesia too .. i wish all the best for u and Michael!! God bless u both dear (:

[Oldblighty]

Hi Grace, by the way what a lovely name Immigration is a subject many of us hate. Because it's all so confusing and mind numbing. Are you intending to immigrate to Scotland? Or vice versa? There are many websites you can find information regarding this matter although I avoid them because it just gets me so down & just confuses me lol! Me & my husband are currently going through the visa process. although that's for me to move and live in the states. Don't want to bring you down dear, because many have been successful at aquiring visa's just wanted to share that it's a very daunting subject to go though.....but with faith and determination one can overcome these obstacles.......

[lucybelle]

Visa stuff is always hard. The most important part is having lots and lots of evidence! Pictures, phone calls, chat logs, emails, passport stamps, etc. Best wishes!

[Zephii]

The visas do really suck, and you're not alone feeling stressed and overwhelmed by them!
I have no experience with UK to Indonesia visas, we're from Australia and Canada... but I'm here to listen and sympathize with you. Start on your visa stuff as early as you can, and break the tasks down into manageable steps so you can see a clear path to the end. You can do this!

[EnglishMan]

I live in England (no duh huh lol), and you see mixed couples wherever you go. We're not quite as multi-cultural as the States, but it's evermore becoming a multi-cultural country due to EU immigration and such. So no, you're unlikely to find much issue with race over here as you would in most countries, we're pretty lax about it here .

As for Visas, I cant speak from experience as I have none! But they seem ludicrously complicated and I know they're making it even harder to move to the UK if you're not from the EU. But you say you're getting married and that will help you out a ton, like lucybelle says just try and make sure you've got a ton of evidence verifying it's a legitimate relationship and as long as you fill out all the forms properly you should hopefully be good (:

And that's just reminded me I've thrown away receipts from a package I sent my SO recently... I guess that's a good reason to send her something else

[gracela]

GUYS,,, This means ALOT to me!! tears came from my eyes as i feel so supportive from people i don't even meet in person but really care and KNOW about my feeling! I'll keep update and yeah i've been put much efforts to "google" haha and search so many stuff about mixed marriage, visa, etc. It is frustrating. But i believe, when there's a good will there will be a WAY!! Wish me luck and thank you once again everybody. Cheerss xxxx

[princessmeg1328]

My fiance is from the UK, and I'll moving over there. I've already started looking into all of the visa stuff so if you have any specific questions, I'd be more than happy to try and help you get started. Like EnglishMan said, they are making it harder to get a visa so the sooner you start, the better. A good place to start is with the actual UKBA website. I don't know if you're planning on getting a fiancee visa or a spouse visa, but these links should help you. Another good place to get started is Transpondia. I'm getting married in May 2013 so it'll be nice to have someone kind of going through the process with me. If you ever need anything, just ask.

[gracela]

hi princessmeg. It'sreally good to find out someone's been there. we will get engage on january 2013 which is his next visit. After engagement, what visa should i apply for getting married there. i think, it'll be around july-september (not decide yet). I read all the complicated process in the UKBA, some parts are ok thou the other part aren't. Did you see the financial requirement? After youre mrried, can you apply visa from inside the UK so you dont have to be apart anymore? one more question for you, it sounds like eventho your engaged from last January, but youre still apart. Is that OK to maintain the relationship with a distance with your fiancee? Cos i feel like i want to stay with him if i can with the fiancee visa eventho i cant work there. thanksss for helping Meg cheerss xxx
'

[Tooki]

I'm pretty sure that you need to apply for the visa outside of the UK. Once you get the visa, you can enter and stay in the UK with it.

[princessmeg1328]

First of all, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to reply.
It really depends. If you want to get married there, there are two options. You can get the fiancee visa and be there for 6 months on that or you can get the marriage visitor visa which also gives you 6 months. With the fiancee visa, you can stay while waiting for your FLR (further leave to remain) as long as you apply before your visa runs out. On the marriage visitor visa, you have to leave after getting married.
The financial requirement is awful. A lot of people more than likely won't be able to get into the UK without having a ridiculous amount of savings. Did you have more specific questions about the financial requirement?
Whether or not you apply for your spouse visa instead of the UK depends on which visa you go over on. If you're already there on a fiance visa, you can apply for it inside of the UK. If you get married in your country or get married there on a marriage visitor visa, you'll have to go back to your country and apply from there.
My fiance and I are still currently apart. We're getting married in the US, but we'll live in the UK. As far as I know, there's nothing wrong with being apart while being engaged. You might have to show intervening devotion when you apply for your visa, but that's easy to prove. If you go to the Transpondia website that I linked you to earlier, it has a section about intervening devotion.
If you have anymore questions that you'd like to ask, you are more than welcome to PM me. I hope this helped you!

[uniquefem]

Hi Grace welcome to LFAD!
Marrying expat for indonesian its lots of complications, my best advise for you is go for FB for indonesia-expat couples group like "melati" or lots of others if you care enough to google it. Theres a lot too in local website such "kaskus" tons of it >>>>based on my experience. They even sub it into your bf original countries.
Each countries had different rules for visa.. what i heard from UK is they will need your english test (TOEFL) and you had to pass it. I think one of my friend who want to move there years ago did this. I think this is for a good causes.

good luck ya!