I'm Fifteen And Engaged

[BennyLover]

My boyfriend (yes i still call him my boyfriend) have been together for a year and 3 months it will be a year and four months in 10 days i have a ring on on my finger and a promise from him that well never part and we havent i dont know if being engaged this young is so bad because its not like were playing house were just devoted is all and i am hoping to see him very soon but on the flip side we couldve just waited. Any thoughts?

[lucybelle]

Be engaged all you want. Just don't get married for another 10 years or so.

[Yellowsilver]

So you got a promise ring? Congrats!
I assume you still live with your parents right? I suggest you talk to them first, they can give you helpful advice since you're still young and in my opinion, you need a lot to learn and mature.
I'm 28 years old and I know for sure I'm still not ready to get married.
Good luck!

[stephanieaz]

Be engaged all you want. Just don't get married for another 10 years or so.

I agree with this. Being engaged is fine, but please take your time and don't get married right away. Both of you should finish school, etc. before you even consider marriage. I got married right out of high school pretty much - didn't go to college and it's the one thing I wish I could go back and do over! Not to mention, I was seeking a divorce less than a year after we were married because I was too young and naive to understand the kind of work that goes into a successful marriage. Enjoy being young and engaged and don't be in a hurry to grow up any faster than necessary.

[Oldblighty]

Be engaged all you want. Just don't get married for another 10 years or so.

I agree with this too! Stay engaged for as long as possible. Your still very young and have many more things to experience in life! I only got married for the first time in April this year and I'm 41. That might be a little past it for some people but I wanted to travel, see the world & gain some life experience before I settled down & hopefully that will hold me in good stead for the future.......

[Sora1101]

To be honest a year isn't that long :/ sure it seems like a long time to you but marriage is supposed to be forever and you aren't even an adult yet, or fully grown (your brain is still developing until you turn 21) being engaged is great but engagement means marriage is on the horizon and I think you should get out there and experience the world before tying yourself down. Enjoy college, travel the world, meet new people. Doing all of that is a hell of a lot harder when you're tied to someone else. Not to mention marriage isn't all roses and sunshine, most of the time it's work and to be completely honest love isn't all you need nor is love enough to make a marriage work.

[lyonsgirl]

Based on personal experience... I was sure I was gonna marry the guy I was dating at age 16. We dated for about 3 1/2 years. I broke up with him when I was in college - and boy am I glad I did.

Don't get your feathers ruffled, I'm just stating my personal experience. It may work out for you, and that's awesome if it does. I'm hesitant to say that it will definitely end or definitely work. Again, from personal experience, it took a while to find my fiance. And even then when we were first introduced, I never would have considered dating, let alone marrying this guy.

I've said this on another thread, similar to this one: love is a decision. It may begin as a feeling, but long-term, committed love becomes a decision. You wake up every day and decide to love the one you wake up next to. There will be times when you don't want to love him/her, but you do anyway. As my future FIL told me once, "I may not like him/her, but I will always love him/her." He's making the decision to love, even when his friend/family member/wife does something to really bother him.

The butterflies fade. That person you call your partner, should you choose to continue loving them, will always be there. They deserve to be loved always.

[D.4C]

there's no way anyone can tell you if it's right or wrong for you...as long as you are happy...then it's right for you...but i would stay engaged for a while...and enjoy each other...i was married the first time when i was 23...and i was ready...of course after 17 1/2 years...that marriage is gone..but i now have a girlfriend that i love very very much...and yes...we have talked about getting married...

[Verojoon]

I remember how frustrating it was to be 15 and everyone telling you to wait. Wait until you do this, wait until you do that... You feel grown-up at that age (at least I did) and you have your whole life ahead of you and you just want to get on with it already!!

Engagement means different things to different people. For some it is an assurance that you will for sure get married in the near-future... for these people, breaking an engagement may be just a small half-step less bad as breaking a marriage... So when you say you are engaged at 15, I can imagine a lot of people may feel the need to lecture you about waiting.

I won't do that.

I will just give you my experience.

I was 19 when I met the man who is now my ex-husband. I had had very little dating experience. one LDR that lasted 3 months, and one CDR that lasted 3 months even though my SO refused to put a label on the relationship, so I could never say he was my boyfriend... Tons of crushes... Anyways here was this guy who was 23 years old, had his own apartment, his own job (installing signs) and he had a pretty cool style. How could this guy be interested in me? I was the luckiest girl ever!

We got along well. And at the beginning, having the hormonal drive of a 19 year old, even the attraction was good. This was the guy I would spend the rest of my life with. I lost attraction to him about 1 year into the relationship but convinced myself I was at fault... I spent the next 10 years feeling guilty and like I was just not trying hard enough to make my marriage work. We still got a long well, but what we had was not a marriage... Yet, I still had that same mentality I had when I was 19 years old.

For me, it wasn't time that allowed me to mature and better understand love. To understand you can love someone and not be in love with them. That it's not my fault that it happened. To understand that though the butterflies do go away, you shouldn't be left with absolutely nothing afterwards. To realize there is something wrong if kissing my husband is a chore that I try to avoid whenever possible. It wasn't time. These realizations I made at about 30-31 years old... These things are things I am still learning and working to define.... For me, what triggered these things were events. I think the reason most people look at 15 years old as being so young, is you haven't had time to learn things the hard way...

That being said, it is your life. I know that personally, I probably wouldn't have made better decisions at 20 than at 15... so it is about when you feel ready... and after that it will be about continuing to work on it and hopefully grow together and not apart!

Anyways, Congratulations on your engagement! Just try not to be in too much of a hurry! Life might seem to go slow at that age, but then you blink and you are already in your thirties!

[BennyLover]

i understand i mean alot of things can and probably will go wrong ben and i planned on everything happening fast (moving in wise) at first but we were gunna finish school and then i was gunna leave home at eighteen but now he's going off to college which is his new plan and is giving us time to prepare for when we really do close the distance being engaged is basically a promise to me that he will always be around and i feel in my heart that he will. Its not like we are getting married tommorow we plan on getting married in our late twenties.

[stephanieaz]

i understand i mean alot of things can and probably will go wrong ben and i planned on everything happening fast (moving in wise) at first but we were gunna finish school and then i was gunna leave home at eighteen but now he's going off to college which is his new plan and is giving us time to prepare for when we really do close the distance being engaged is basically a promise to me that he will always be around and i feel in my heart that he will. Its not like we are getting married tommorow we plan on getting married in our late twenties.

That's really sweet. I wish you both the best of luck! Congratulations!

[Zephii]

I honestly can't understand the point of such a long engagement, but if you're both happy, that's good enough for me.

Congratulations on your engagement Will there be photos?

[rixue]

Congrats on the engagement!

[Tinansubuga]

Awwh I remember when I was 15 and in love..I met my fiance when I was 12, he was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen as he cycled past me, his eyes glued on me. Right there and then I knew he was the one. I cant say I fully understood what that meant but I felt something, it was like 6th sense or something and I knew no matter what happened to us, how far we went, this was the man I was going to marry. The next day, I found out he was cousins with my neighbours and had asked them if they could arrange for him to meet me, he said he loved me that day.I just looked at him because I had no idea what that really meant.I just felt so drawn to him.

Anyway up until I was 17,, we never had any fights, we were too in love, we even wanted to marry at some point when I was 16 when I turned 17 and different hard decisions had to be made, the honey moon phase was long gone, we both started feeling the pressure. I am 20 now, we have been through so so much together (including losing our baby daughter) and when he popped the question on September 28th, I cried so hard because all these emotions came floating back.

My point is you are 15, only together a year, take it slow babe. I know now that me and himself have been through so much together and nothing can be thrown at us hard enough for us to give up at this point. Have fun together, get to know each other. You shouldn't label your relationship because it puts you under pressure eventually and complicates things. Just have fun and eventually if ye are still together and have experienced REAL life together, No one will say anything to stop you I mean , I am 20, he is 24 , we have been together 9 years and we are still learning about each other and how to be together because during teenage years people grow and change a lot, are ye ready to adjust to each other changing?

[annieszabo]

I know how you feel, i was only 16 the first time i asked my SO to marry me. I knew we wouldnt be getting married right away. But she was/is my best friend, and the love of my life. But we ended up breaking the engagment withut splitting up, when we hit a bump in the relationship a while ago. But we didnt break up (tho it came pretty close, unfortunately). And recently i asked her to Marry me again <3 and we are once again engaged. I am, as people say, an "old soul". And i think, age is a small factor in being ready. its a state of being. Where you are personally. Somemight be ready at a young age, well others wont be till 50 or 60. And if it works foryou both, then i wish you luck!!