Wedding, Long Distance and Family

[kacie]

I'm currently engaged, and planning my 2014 wedding, but we wont be closing the distance to around a month before the wedding, when I'll be moving to America. So I'm wondering how other managed with being long distance and wedding planning, with the uncertainty of the visa. Also with the families being apart and if any of the family attended or were you the only member of your family at the wedding.

[Zephii]

For us, we lived in Canada and planned our wedding in Australia.

I thought it was important to have a back-up plan, so in the event Obi didn't get a visa in time, he'd have flown to Australia on a tourist visa - with a ticket to leave firmly in hand. Many of his family had already paid for their flights to attend, so canceling the wedding was not really an option.
I also had onshore help. My sister is practiced at pretending to be me (and I her!) so for the venue she went and booked/paid for for me to save me a little hassle, because I couldn't do it online. Most everything CAN be done online though, so it works out ok.
If you can give yourself a grace period of more than a month I'd do it though. Obi's visa came through two months later than he'd planned, if we'd had our wedding on our original date, he'd have been in the country only one day!

We had the wedding in my country, so all my people could attend, but for Obi, many of his people made it to Australia too. We paid for one friend's flight, but everyone else managed to save up for the holiday in the time we spent engaged. You just have to give people enough warning. They are also more likely to be able to make the trip if they don't need to pay accommodation, so see if any of his family can host some of yours. We ended up with 11 Canadians, so a little under a third of our whole guest list.

[nicole]

I moved to my SO on a K1 visa, I arrived on February 29th, we drove to Chicago and got married on March 16th. Only our parents were there... well they weren't supposed to be, but mine freaked and came out anyways We are now planning our "wedding" for June 14th, in England which will be bigger, organized, and all our families and friends are going to be there.

We didn't know when we were going to get the visa, and planning something big and expensive in the hope we'd get it on time was too much of a worry, so we decided a quick official marriage ceremony to get the paper work in then a meaningful ceremony afterwards would be the best to go. It's not uncommon with international couples to do it that way- most people I've talked to have the same plan, or have done the same.

[13000km]

We are having the ceremony/reception in one country, but his family will not be attending. We are then signing the papers in his country and his family will be there for that and we are going out for a nice fancy dinner afterwards.
As far as planning goes my mum did a lot of the big things like looking for a venue, photographer, cake. I planned the smaller things, or things I could manage from far away, like my dress, fiance's outfit, bouquet, guest book. We arrived here exactly one week before the wedding and have so far had to finish the last minute arrangements and finalise the day-of program. We will see how smoothly this Friday turns out. (:

[squeeker]

I moved to my SO on a K1 visa, I arrived on February 29th, we drove to Chicago and got married on March 16th. Only our parents were there... well they weren't supposed to be, but mine freaked and came out anyways We are now planning our "wedding" for June 14th, in England which will be bigger, organized, and all our families and friends are going to be there.

We didn't know when we were going to get the visa, and planning something big and expensive in the hope we'd get it on time was too much of a worry, so we decided a quick official marriage ceremony to get the paper work in then a meaningful ceremony afterwards would be the best to go. It's not uncommon with international couples to do it that way- most people I've talked to have the same plan, or have done the same.

March 16... that's when one of my friends is getting married next year and also the day after my SO's birthday! Good choice! haha But my SO and I have talked about doing a similar thing to what you've done.. have a small ceremony in his country first (because he only really has his dad who he'd want there) and then we'd come to Canada and have a bigger wedding with all my family and few friends. Though a wedding for us is still a few years away, so we might end up doing things a different way, I kind of like the idea of having two weddings... makes it more unique and special too.

[limegreen]

That has been something I've struggled with from the beginning. We are getting married on March 1st. I have always wanted a big, traditional wedding and swore up and down we wouldn't do it unless everyone was there. Well, it's only a few months away, money is super tight and it's just not going to happen that way. So, I've revamped my entire dream from the traditional ceremony/reception to eloping in DC with a few very close friends and spending a fun day there.
To include everyone that isn't local we will be sending out CDs with all the songs that mean something to Lisa and I along with a little bit about each one as to why and asking them to listen to it at such and such time on our wedding day. This is the best I could think of and thankfully my heart is as peace with it.

I wish you the best of luck! I know LDRs suck for so many reasons, but mainly always having to live without all your loved ones near. Still, I wouldn't trade my new little family for anything.

[kacie]

We're doing the K1 visa as well, hoping that by applying a year before we plan to get married it will be sorted in time. I'm going over twice in the time, once to meet his family and get to know the area a bit, then later for the wedding planning that I can't do from afar. I know my mum and step dad are going to be there, mum's been looking at hotels and flights for it, but not sure about anyone else, hope that some more of my family do come over as I doubt we could afford to come over here for a while after

[august]

awwww i wanna be engaged too!

[Lucky]

Glad to know I am not alone with organizing a wedding before we close the distance for good!
Not organizing it long distance though as it will be in my hometown and he is moving here.

I read a story of a couple who organized their whole wedding in another forum, he was from the UK and her from the US I believe, the paperwork didn't arrive in time so they had to have their party before their actual legal marriage, no big deal but something you might want to consider if you are picky about that, some people worried it would affect paperwork but as long as you are not signing anything legal shouldn't make a difference. I remember that some girls mentioned that there were some very good wedding planners willing to work long distance that did a great job.

In our case we were also considering a k1 visa for me in the USA but then realized it's too much hassle because we wouldn't be able to settle on a date, we would be literally holding our breath almost until last minute and we are not in a hurry to get it since we will live in my country (Mexico) mostly and I have had a tourist visa since I was a child so I can visit as I please. So far it seems it's pretty easy for us to get married right here though I just heard a comment about how it's not such a great idea... I will go to the courthouse for information on monday just in case.

For the courthouse we will just have some pictures taken instead of an engagement session and for the "big day" his parents will visit, perhaps one of his brothers can make it too. Neither of us is the party type, we want a small wedding just to share this special moment in our lives with close relatives and make some nice memories so that certainly helps.