Question..in an LDR where would you get married since youre in 2 states?

[katiecat08]

I've often wondered how a couple would go about doing this if they have family participating. Im also contemplating what I would do with my boyfriend when the topic comes up for this. Every single relative of mine lives in NC and majority of his live in NM. But I dont think mine would be able to afford to even consider flying down to NM if I got married there. How did you and your SO work this out that was best for you? Right now its just a thought for us.

[Trethsparr]

At the time I married, I was living in Washington, and my fiance was living in California. We ended up having the wedding in Washington because we agreed that, as the bride, I was doing the bulk of the planning, and it was more convenient to plan to have the wedding in my hometown where I was living. Both of us had family members who needed to travel to the location of the wedding.

[katiecat08]

Hmm that does make sense. See there isnt a single relative of mine that lives out of state which is why I was wondering. And my family isnt exactly made of money where they could just hop a plane anytime.

At the time I married, I was living in Washington, and my fiance was living in California. We ended up having the wedding in Washington because we agreed that, as the bride, I was doing the bulk of the planning, and it was more convenient to plan to have the wedding in my hometown where I was living. Both of us had family members who needed to travel to the location of the wedding.

[lucybelle]

We married in the USA with only my immediate family present and his family watched via Skype in Costa Rica. We planned to have a second party in Costa Rica, but now I sort of doubt that's going to happen.

[Verojoon]

If we get married, I would like to do it in his state, but in San Antonio which is a 5-6 hour drive from where he lives... so I guess not exactly easy for anyone... but since I've already been married I don't want a big wedding (and he doesn't either) and I feel that whoever is willing to travel, we will be happy to have around but make it clear that no one should feel obligated to come... Since no one would approve of our marriage anyways, I guess the turn out would be quite small... at least this way I can tell myself it's because of the travel... no other reason!

[lyonsgirl]

We are getting married in Indiana, in his home church. It makes more sense for us because there is no "home base" for my family. My family will have to travel no matter where we get married, so we figured it would be easier to just be married there. Plus, we would like to ultimately end up in Indiana.

Since you said your family may not be made of money to hop on a plane at any time, it may be in your best interest to, once you are engaged, plan on having a year+ long engagement. That way your family (or his, depending on where you choose to marry) can save for the necessary travel costs so they can be at your wedding.

Just want to point out though, that from what I have seen a large majority of couples have to figure this out because a lot of times they are from different states, even if they are CD now, they did not always live where they do now. (I'm not saying it's everyone, it's just a lot of people.)

[LadyDaemon]

I'm personally having to figure this out now myself even though we are closing the distance soon. Luckily I have a little under a year and a half long engagement still to figure that out,but I'm leaning more towards getting married in Kentucky since that is where I am from and just about all of my family lives there. And since he has contact with very few people in his family there will probably be more of my family there anyway so to me right now it's just logical to do it in my home state. But that could very well change depending on whether or not we're living in Florida like we plan to be and if I can get someone to officiate the kind of wedding I'll be having.

[Zephii]

We married in my country. I got the feeling that generally weddings take place in the bride's hometown/where the bride's people are, but correlation doesn't equal causation so I might be wrong. If there are two brides however, I'd recommend Hawaii. Or New Zealand.

[lyonsgirl]

I got the feeling that generally weddings take place in the bride's hometown/where the bride's people are, but correlation doesn't equal causation so I might be wrong. If there are two brides however, I'd recommend Hawaii. Or New Zealand.

Generally, yes. Except for those brides who's families live all over the place.... like mine. California, New Jersey, Texas, Minnesota, Colorado, Canada.... heh. (Oh, and me, in Virginia.) His? Indiana. Colorado, Illinois (and it's close enough into IL that it's basically IN). And a great-grandma in TX, but she's like, 97, and can't travel.

[Zephii]

Generally, yes. Except for those brides who's families live all over the place.... like mine. California, New Jersey, Texas, Minnesota, Colorado, Canada.... heh. (Oh, and me, in Virginia.) His? Indiana. Colorado, Illinois (and it's close enough into IL that it's basically IN). And a great-grandma in TX, but she's like, 97, and can't travel.

Damn these people who think they can just live whereever they please! Don't they know how irritating it is when you're planning a wedding?

In all fairness, my family live all over the place too. But I figured seeming they didn't have to come from another country they could suck it up haha.

[Bluejay Belle]

Of the family I would invite to my wedding, they are all over the place as well. Guess they'll have to deal...or save me money on feeding them I guess. Many of my friends married recently have just gotten married where the couple resides/is closing the distance, even if their families don't live there.

[snow]

If we get married it'll be in the US.
Mostly because his family actually cares about this relationship while mine doesn't :P

[lyonsgirl]

Damn these people who think they can just live whereever they please! Don't they know how irritating it is when you're planning a wedding?

In all fairness, my family live all over the place too. But I figured seeming they didn't have to come from another country they could suck it up haha.

Hahahaha, it wouldn't be too much for me to ask them to all move to live in the same state so I could get married, would it?

[nicole]

Mine is in England- I have elderly relatives who can't travel for various health reasons, whereas his grandparents are all fit and wanted to travel out of the country at least once before they aren't as mobile anymore. I planned some of it whilst I was still living there, then got a planner to find the rest of the vendors I hadn't nailed down yet once I moved to the US. So far, it hasn't been that stressful planning from a distance. Just chasing up my last vendor to pay then I'm done till the big day!

[mllebamako]

We got married in my husband's country, because that's where we've lived for the past 3.5 years. We were originally planning on doing a second ceremony in the States, but as time goes by, that is looking less and less likely. In fact, I'll be selling my never-worn American wedding dress soon *sniff*