"Oh, when you meet The One, you just know."

[Goyangi]

I love love. Really. I can recall all the times I ever asked my married counterparts at what moment did he or she know he or she had met "The One". I can also recall all the times he or she replied with the ever frustrating "Oh, you'll just know." NO DARNIT, IF I JUST KNEW I WOULDN'T BE ASKING YOU!!

Do you believe there is such thing as, "The One"? Or a soulmate? That person you're supposed to be with forever and ever? Or anything of the sort? And if you do, then HOW, I want to know, how did you know? Or think you will know? Is it really as simple as, "just knowing"?

[Tooki]

I don't believe in "The One" or a "Soulmate". I believe that love operates on a sliding scale, where it is up to both parties to make a relationship work.

I like to think of my compatibility with my partner in regards to how well I could live with them for the rest of my life.

[Zephii]

I also don't believe in "The One" or "Soulmates". Perhaps that's because when I was young and stupid a man told me we were soulmates, because he just "knew" and I believed him because I didn't know any better. I got involved with him because if he was my soul mate, then I could never be happy with anyone else right? I was 15. He was 40.

So I think the whole concept is for lemmings.

Often I believe that the Goddess wants me to be with Obi, because I have a sense of it. I feel very strongly blessed, kind of like when you're rewarded for doing the right thing, but I think if I chose not to be with him, there isn't a logical reason I couldn't be almost as happy with someone else. (I say almost, because while he is alive I will obsess over him if we are not together ) Just like I know there is a risk he will die before I do, and I may very well fall in love again and remarry. If there was only "One" person for me, and something happened to that person.... no. The math for this theory just doesn't add up.

But I do think it's a mix of intuition (Just knowing) and logic. We're compatible in practical ways. We want roughly the same things at the same times in our lives. Our bad habits are similar, which makes living together easy. I "know" he's special because so far he's the only person I can live with. And I know that once our sex life becomes nothingness, we still have our base of friendship.

I think, whilst there isn't a "the one", you really do just KNOW. And if you don't, this isn't it.

[Dezface]

No, I don't. Mostly because I believed my ex was my soul mate and look where that got me. I think you know when you love someone and how compatible you are with them. After that the effort to make it work is all up to the couple and there's nobody pulling strings to keep anyone together.

[dglynn77]

I'm going to go with YES

I know that my SO is "The One."

I dated for years and always wondered how you know when someone is the right one for you, and I got the same answer that you did. I always thought that was dumb until I met my SO. Now i'm a believer

[Malaga]

I don't believe in a predestined The One. I do believe you can fall in love that can last forever. But I think whether or not you're 'meant to be together' depends on a number of circumstances - timing is crucial, so is where you are in life and how compatible that is with your SO. And of course, the conscious decisions and effort you put in the relationship.

The idea of being with someone forever and ever can be scary even if you 'know' your SO is 'The One'. I think it has a lot to do with your personality as well, how easily can you make decisions and go through with them.

[Dziubka]

If there was only "One" person for me, and something happened to that person.... no. The math for this theory just doesn't add up.
I think, whilst there isn't a "the one", you really do just KNOW. And if you don't, this isn't it.

Well people make up all kinds of stuff so that reality fits their theories. You could always argue that if something happened to [who you thought was The One] and later you meet someone else, then that 2nd person is actually The One. Do I make sense to anyone but me?

I don't believe that there's only one person that's right for us. We're not all these super special snowflakes that only one other person 'fits' to. I'm sure there are actually quite a few people out there who I could be just as happy with as I am with my boyfriend. I just happened to meet him (first).

I also don't really believe in "just knowing". There's no guarantee for love and you can hope and want and have a feeling, but you can't really know it's going to work out.

[kteire]

I don't believe in soulmates or "the one". I've said it in other related threads and I'll repeat myself here: I think the concept is depressing. Like then if you lose your SO for some reason, are you just supposed to be out of luck for the rest of your life? And if by some stroke of fate you don't meet your SO, does that mean you'll never have someone you'd love as much? I don't buy it, and I honestly think that as much as it makes me sad to imagine it, if for some reason I couldn't have my SO or had never met him, that I would have met someone who I would love as much.

I do, however, agree that when you know, you know - but not applied to "the one". I knew after a while that I loved my SO completely, and that it just made so much sense for us to be together - and couldn't imagine my lift without him. I agree with Dziubka that there's no guarantee, but I guess I see it as that you know you would do almost anything to make it work out.

I also agree with Zephii that it's intuition and logic, because humans do have good instincts when they choose to listen to their gut feeling! I didn't know straight away; it was something that came as a realisation after a while. I suddenly thought, he's exactly the kind of person I need, he treats me the way I deserve to be treated, and I love him immensely - and he feels the same way. I've never questioned our relationship or the fact that if things work out for us, we would incredibly compatible in the future

[LadyDaemon]

I don't personally believe in "soulmates" or "the one" either. I believe that there are certain people out there that fit together kinda like puzzle pieces that complete a picture and I believe it's possible to have more then one person that fits as such. Me and my SO fit together great,we have a lot in common,and we have very similar moral code and we both have very similar out looks on certain things and life. I feel that if something were to happen to one of us or between us then it wouldn't be impossible to find another human being that I closely fit together with,but probably not exactly the same. Would I ever want that though? Nope,because I'm perfectly content with what I have with my SO. But life is unpredictable and things happen every day. With that said,I believe it's possible with much patience and work on both individuals parts to be together forever. Like my grandparents for example,my grandparents before my grandpa passed were together for 40+ years and had he survived his cancer I truly believe they would've remained together to their graves. They had a very special relationship,they loved each other in sickness,health,for better,for worse and everything in between.

As for the "just knowing" part. I think as Zephii said,it's intuition and logic.

[Moon]

Put me in the non-believers column, too. I absolutely don't believe it's some kind of predestined thing, as humans, we have free will, and all that.

I also don't think you "just know" right away, I think you could have an idea early on, but it takes time to get to truly know a person well enough, and see them in enough situations, to understand your compatibility. Eventually, you do "just know", but it takes time to get there, to make sure, because the rest of your life can be a VERY long time.

[lucybelle]

Don't believe in any of it. I think there is a "right one for right now". If I had met my SO even a year before we met, there's no way we would have ended up together. We met at the right time. If one day our relationship ends, I believe we can both find another person to make us happy. I also think if I had never met my SO, I would have found someone else.

I also never "just knew" we were meant to be. It was a long process of learning about each other and realizing we had lots of fun together.

[TooFarAway]

I believe in true love, soulmates,the one you're destined to be with forever, the person that completes you, etc. <3
Because I'm a corny romantic x)
However, I don't believe that you "just know right away." That takes a lot of time. You need to really get to know your SO, before you know he's "The One."
I hate that "love at first sight" bullcrap.

[ThePiedPiper]

I believe in soulmates but not in the way a lot of people use the term. I believe more that we cross paths with the people with whom we're meant to cross paths. There was a point I thought I would marry my ex but I outgrew him. However, without him, I would not have learned the valuable lessons that I did, or I might have, but I might not have learned them as soon or as thoroughly. It was a matter of him being in the right place at the right time and I simply believe there's a deeper component than convenience. I spiritually believe, however, that life is about trials and growth from those trials, and that the people who push our buttons our also our teachers. I know I have personally failed the button pushing trial from a few people and have no doubt I'll be facing those trials again at some point. But it's my spiritual belief that leads me to believe that there are reasons we meet people and that, as such, anyone can become a soulmate at any point in time, depending on the bond that is created, the lessons that are learned and shared, and any potential criss-crossings from past lives. I thoroughly believe my cat was a soulmate. I was soul bonded to him like to nothing else, and I'll be hard pressed to find that level of love with a human being, with whom love often seems conditional. However, I know that I will meet someone who will eventually love me as unconditionally as humans can, and I know that I will meet someone who made me as happy as my ex did before I changed and he stayed put. The big thing that bothers me about "the one" is that what happens if you're married 30 years and then your marriage fails. So what, are you destined never to be happy again? Personally I think it's reasonable to have one soulmate in one chapter of life and one soulmate in another. I don't mean this to say that the term "soulmate" should be thrown around frivolously. I more mean to say that it's entirely possible to bond at a soul level with more than one person and that this should be embraced in whatever form it comes (pet, friend, family, lover) and not disregarded because "soulmate" is supposed to apply to your Hollywood romance.

As far as knowing or not knowing, eh. I thought I knew with my ex that I wanted to marry him. I loved him, wholly, completely, and with complete abandon, and it still did not work. I fell out of love because I became someone different. So no, I don't think that there's any "just knowing." I think the reason that so many people attribute love to knowing versus to any specific moment or event is because love does not happen (at least not often) all at once and instantaneously. Love is not a destination or a starting point, but rather a journey, and you can tell people the highlights of your journey, and maybe a defining moment or two, but you can't ever describe the "it" moment. Think about a hobby or a career that you're passionate about. Think about a book that you could read several times over or a movie you'd watch a hundred more times. There may be moments in the book or movie where you can say "I love this bit" or there may be a moment where you became aware your hobby was a hobby or you realised your life's passion (which existed before the realisation) but really, can you put it into words? If someone asks you when you knew what you wanted to be doing for the rest of your life, or when you knew you really enjoyed [hobby here], or when you decided you really liked this book or that movie, your answer is probably much the same of people in love. You just do. Here are some moments and this might be why you like it so much, but in most cases, you can't tell them exactly when you fell in love with it or how you came to that decision. I think asking people how they fell in love ends up creating a longer, more fleshed out story than asking people when they fell in love, simply because "how" is asking about a process and "when" is asking people to simplify that process into one moment that probably doesn't even exist. My .02c on that.

[Kristin91]

I believe we're destined to follow a certain path and experience and have relationships with certain people. Without my ex, I wouldn't have had to confront myself on a lot of issues that have since helped shape who I have become. Each and every person we cross paths with will teach us something, but I don't think there's "The One" person I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life. I know that if I were to marry my SO I would be the happiest woman on the planet, but I also know that if we break up at some point I will find another man whom I will love just as much as my current SO. But I also think timing has a lot to do with it. My SO has told me that he wishes we had met and started dating earlier, but I firmly believe I had to learn those other lessons in order to have the kind of relationship I have with him

[Bluejay Belle]

I agree with the last few posters. I am exactly where I need to be; I met my SO at the right time and we hit it off. I don't think there is only one person for me, not at all. But at this moment, I have someone whom I love and share fun, values, and dreams with, which is pretty darn awesome, I must say.