Family Drama and A Rushed Wedding

[Sunbeam]

So, as you guys may or may not have read, my boyfriend and I closed the distance on May 30 (or well, he proposed on that day, so I should say my fiance.) We are living in WV with my family (aging grandparents, who have various health issues). Prior to him moving here, my grandma and I had an agreement that as long as we were applying for/looking for/getting jobs, that there would be no issue with him living here too. So two days ago, my grandma gave him an eviction and me a choice: he needs to leave by very soon after July 4th (we both work at my other grandparents auction business while looking for second jobs and we have an auction July 5th, so it couldn't be before the 4th), and I can go with him or I can stay here. My choice is not the problem here.
The problem is the main reason he came down here was to help me with my grandparents and once we did get married, my grandpa could walk me down the aisle (my dad died when I was young). I will not give this dream up.

So... in 5 days... we're getting married. This is crazy, and rushed, and I'm so overwhelmed, I'm not sure what I should be feeling.
Has anyone had anything similar happen?

[lucybelle]

Umm I guess I don't understand how him getting kicked out correlates to your grandpa walking you down the aisle? Is he in failing health?

[Sunbeam]

He's a disabled coalminer, and in failing health and once the boy leaves for Washington, then the next logical thing would be for me to follow. The catch being, even if we pulled together something in Washington before health issues took my grandpa, he couldn't travel to us, and we're not made of disposable travel money. There's no guarantee we could make it back in time. Our plan was to have a WV wedding about half a year from now, and then move to Washington in our own time, and do a ceremony there. Hah. Plans.

Also, as an edit. I'm sorry if I sound like a bitch or not all there. This constant fighting in my house takes a toll on me.

[lyonsgirl]

So.... I guess I'm struggling to see the problem. You're getting married in 5 days. Why is your grandma kicking you out? ETA: And... if you're really concerned about your grandfather's ability to walk you down the aisle, why would you wait another 6 months to get married?

[digitalfever]

What exactly is the problem? I'm having an issue determining what your trying to say. From what I can tell is that you work for your grandparents while trying to find 2nd jobs, your grandparents are evicting you before an auction, you guys fight, and that you want your grandpa to walk you down the aisle.

... But what's the issue?

[Sunbeam]

I have two sets of grandparents, first off. My mom's side are auctioneers, and I've worked for them my entire life, so bringing on the boyfriend is no problem, minus their southern baptist conservatism.
My dad's side are the ones I live with and play caretaker for: My papaw is a disabled coalminer in his 70s, and my mamaw is 67, with a heart condition. They agreed on this: My boyfriend would come down here, we would live together, get engaged if we wished (which we did), and find jobs (which aside from the auction gig, we were looking for full time ones). If we got engaged we would wait at least six months to get married.
This is what has happened: My mamaw (dad's mom... not in the auctioneer side of the family) has decided that we are not living on any piece of property she owns, which includes her house, and the house I was fixing up for the boyfriend and I to live in, while we planned this wedding (and I'm a recent college graduate with enough income to cover utilities... not utilities and rent, so please don't suggest renting a place. I can't afford it.). We have until shortly after July 4th to leave. *I* can stay, but he has to leave.

Here is the issue: If he leaves, his contract job may not bring him back on, therefore who knows how long it will be before he can come back here to marry me. And the *one* tradition that is important to me marriage wise, is the dad walking the girl down the aisle. Unfortunately, life thought it would be HILARIOUS for my dad to die when I was six, so my papaw is my next option. We were waiting because that's what he wanted.
Okay, so let's say I move with the boy, moving wipes my expenses. I've charted it. The money I need to move and have for an emergency is all I have. I could not come back and get married, and my papaw's disability cuts out the 8-12 hour (depending on who you fly with and such) flights. He could not physically fly over and actually be able to attend/enjoy my wedding or walk me down the aisle.

Given this tough situation, one of my dearest friends and her crew of contacts have said they could pull together a wedding before my deadline to leave. I'm not really saying, there's a problem now. Because they have a "solution." I'm saying it's a weird scenario and want to know if anyone's ever experienced ANYTHING similar, because to be damn honest, my brain is still trying to figure out what happened with my mamaw to make her do this to me, to even be excited about the possibility of this wedding.

[mllebamako]

So are you guys rushing the wedding so that your grandpa can walk you down the aisle? Or is it because your grandma won't let you live in her house if you aren't married?

I'm sure you are frustrated re-explaining this so many times but I've gotta admit that I'm still confused about why you are having a rushed wedding.

[LadyDaemon]

So,let me see if I got this. Your fiance got kicked out of your grandmas place for whatever reason,ya'll are planning on moving together to WV? but since your grandpa is in failing health you've pushed the wedding up by a lot because you want your grandpa to be able to walk you down the isle? Do I have this right?

[Sunbeam]

We're in WV right now.
We have to move to WA.
Everything else is pretty much right. Although this thread is kinda done, because my friends who claimed could help me pull this together, ran into a problem, so looks like once again, I have to give up my dream and have a wedding in Washington, with none of my family and friends there.
C'est la vie.

[lyonsgirl]

You CAN still get married in 5 days, in WV. Your grandfather can still walk you down the aisle and give you away. Courthouse weddings are still weddings. You can have a white dress and flowers if you want. Your FH can wear a suit if he has one. Give your friends & families cookies or something from a local bakery, and some punch, thank them for coming to your wedding.

ETA: A wedding is not really about the dress and the church and the cake and dancing or whatever. It's about YOU and YOUR SO. And the fact that you two are getting married. At the end of the day, your marital status will be the same. And, that's more important than anything else involved with a wedding. If you think otherwise, then, honestly, I'm not sure you're ready to be married.

[Sunbeam]

Well, the good news is we all put on our happy voices today (My grandma and I have this issue where we sound mad EVERYTIME we talk. Seriously) and we had a loooong talk. About everything that my grandma was having issues with. One of the things being she definitely thought my SO and I closed the distance solely to get married. Like RIGHT NOW.
And our intention was to live together for at least 6 months so we truly felt READY for marriage, because I'll be honest with you, I was not ready to get married in 5 days. That was not something I wanted. And once our issues were all in the open, we resolved it. So we can stay in WV as long as we want/need to.

I know I sound harsh, dumb, and immature at times. I swear, it's not my intention, but when things get emotional and stressful, it happens. I sincerely want to thank all of you who replied, even if it was to tell me I'm not ready or you don't see what the problem is.