Does it irk you?

[Zephii]

Just a quick random question for those folk who are married and have changed their last name: Does it irk you when people refer to you or your children by your maiden name?

Because I've noticed it gives my right eye the mad twitch. My family in particular have a habit of it and sometimes I want to yell "That's not my name anymore!" or "That's never been my baby's name!"

It's dumb though, so I don't!

For the people who didn't change their last name upon marriage: Does it irk the crap out of you when people assume you have your husband's last name?

Tell me your opinions! I'm in the mood for a meaningless thread.

[mllebamako]

Hmm this doesn't irk me but it's probably because I'm living in last-name-limbo. I have changed my last name to my husband's on facebook and email and daily conversation. But I haven't done anything official about it (aka my passport/ID/bank/etc are still all my maiden name). Changing it from abroad just seems like too much of a pain in the butt and I'm going to wait until I'm living back in the States to do it.

But, imagining that I had changed it officially, I don't think this would bother me. I love my maiden name as well and it's still part of who I am and it'll still be a part of my child's life (not officially the name, but that part of my family/heritage).

[Jess!]

Hi! Not married but I would like to ask that in my country everyone has a personal name, then a mother's name and the last name it's the father's one. this changes a lot because for legal stuff you'll have your fathers name but you can use the others and when you're married you add the name after yours father's name, so you'll have all of these without actually 'cut' a name :P

But it is a nice thread though. I wouldn't like, if I was married, that everyone assumed I had my husbands name. that seems like Im a property or something... (no judging when concerning other options, though).

[lucybelle]

I didn't change my last name, which is normal in CR. No one here assumes I changed my last name since no one does.

But when people do assume, it does irk me a little. I was asked a lot "so what's your new last name?" Umm, the same one. One of my friends even said "okay, but you're still now [hyphenated last names]" I felt like going "NO! I'M NOT!" Although I will be honest, sometimes I give my SO's last name as my last name here, just for simplicity sake. If I give my long, German last name people have a really hard time. With my SO's easy Hispanic last name, things go much quicker.

My dad's wife didn't change her last name and she told me this guy she works with always addresses her as Mrs. [my dad's last name]. He even introduces her like that. He knows she didn't change her last name, but he does it anyways. That would seriously piss me off. She doesn't care, but I was mad for her!

[and final last name changing story] My mom didn't change her last name for either of her marriages. Now with her second marriage when her husband comes into swim practice or whatever she'll tell the kids "Everyone say hi to Mr. [my mom's maiden name]" Piece of their own medicine! Ha!

[Trethsparr]

At this point, most people have switched over to calling me by my husband's last name (even if they misspell it), which is fine since I took it.

What chaps me is receiving letters from people/organizations with the designation "Mr. and Mrs. [His first name] [His last name]"... or even just "Mrs. [His first name] [His last name]."

Our college does this, which bothers me as we're both alumni and we graduated separately. However, my MIL also does this, and I'm not quite sure how to go about fixing this without potentially causing offense. I realize that it probably just boils down to etiquette (or at least former standards of etiquette carried over), but I have a name, too...

[elina]

What Trethsparr said would annoy me so much. I'll take Sam's last name when we get married but I wouldn't want to be called Mrs. [SO's first name] [SO's last name] >:// No one does that in Finland anyway I guess so I'm safe here but if we moved to England..

And I'm thinking it might annoy me if someone called me by my maiden name when we're married. I'm not a massive fan of my last name anyway

[nicole]

I was in limbo for a while with half my stuff in my maiden name and half in my married name. I'm happy it's all finally done, but I haven't really had to introduce myself much etc to use my last name often yet.

The only thing that pisses me off, like some others have said, is the things addressed to "Mr and Mrs <SO's First name> <Shared last name>. Like I don't have a first name. My name is not my SO's name- I have my own!

[LadyDaemon]

Well I'm not married yet,but honestly I feel myself getting potentially annoyed if once I get married people addressed me with my maiden name. I don't really like my last name anyway.

[lyonsgirl]

I'll be changing my name in 3 1/2 months (whee!). I anticipate I'll have a hard time even remembering to call myself/sign MyName HisLastName, so I won't be irked, at least, not for a while.

If we get introduced/addressed as Mr & Mrs HisLastName (with or without his first name) I don't think I'll care. But, I think if it's Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName I'll be annoyed. I mean, why can't it be Mrs. MyName HisLastName?!? Is it really that hard? Right now though, I rather enjoy being called The Future Mrs. MyName HisLastName.

[Trethsparr]

But, I think if it's Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName I'll be annoyed. I mean, why can't it be Mrs. MyName HisLastName?!? Is it really that hard? Right now though, I rather enjoy being called The Future Mrs. MyName HisLastName.

Rocket science, apparently. I do like being called by his last name. Even two years later, it's still super exciting (and I'm starting to get the hang of remembering my new last name myself). But the Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName really bugs me -- it makes me feel like my individual identity has been absorbed. I know that's not actually the case, but the connotation makes me feel pretty uncomfortable.

[lyonsgirl]

Rocket science, apparently. I do like being called by his last name. Even two years later, it's still super exciting (and I'm starting to get the hang of remembering my new last name myself). But the Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName really bugs me -- it makes me feel like my individual identity has been absorbed. I know that's not actually the case, but the connotation makes me feel pretty uncomfortable.

Completely understandable. Ask me again in 4 months and I bet I'll be super cranky about it.

[lucybelle]

I'm happy to see women here who changed (or will change) their names and don't like the Mr. and Mrs. [his first name] [his last name]. That bothers me soooo much! It's like the most chauvinistic thing in the world! It's like, damn, so the woman doesn't even get her own first name now?

I do wonder though, how were you (or will you be) introduced at your wedding? Maybe you didn't even do that part. But when my friend finished marrying us she said "Ladies and gentlemen it is now my privilege to present to you for the very first time as husband and wife Mr [my SO's full name] and Mrs [my full name]" Because even though I didn't change my name, I still became a Mrs that day

[Trethsparr]

I do wonder though, how were you (or will you be) introduced at your wedding? Maybe you didn't even do that part. But when my friend finished marrying us she said "Ladies and gentlemen it is now my privilege to present to you for the very first time as husband and wife Mr [my SO's full name] and Mrs [my full name]" Because even though I didn't change my name, I still became a Mrs that day

Good question! We were introduced as HisFirstName and MyFirstName HisLastName.

I like how you did yours, too!

[lyonsgirl]

I do wonder though, how were you (or will you be) introduced at your wedding? Maybe you didn't even do that part. But when my friend finished marrying us she said "Ladies and gentlemen it is now my privilege to present to you for the very first time as husband and wife Mr [my SO's full name] and Mrs [my full name]" Because even though I didn't change my name, I still became a Mrs that day

I think we have talked about this with our ceremony coordinator.......... but I can't remember what we decided, haha. I'll let you know.

[garnet]

I kept my name both times, and it irked the crap out of me when people assumed that I took the husbands name. I don't think I let a single time pass without correcting them. I could not STAND, especially in my first marriage being associated in any way with his drunken hillbilly racist asshole inbred hick family.