Planning from a distance

[Yaaamiii]

So my SO has one more year of college left...his program is a five year thing, mine was the typical 4. Anywho, we wanna marry the summer after he graduates, and we want to marry in our hometown which is where I am currently living. He really wants to be active in the planning, but he'll have class and work so it'll be harder for him than for me...how stressful is it to plan a wedding with only one person present? I can imagine that destination style weddings are even more stressful...lol. I'm pretty sure that it'll be mostly me planning, since I'm the only one who can meet with people...

But I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how much does a person really need to be there physically? He says he'll help with ideas and calling people and such...but is this near impossible to do from a distance or will it all essentially fall on me...? And if so, how much do you guys think will be my responsibility?

This was confusing....I hope it made sense!

[lifeatitsbest]

what's the big rush to get married? you have your whole lives for god's sakes! if you're really going to end up together in the end, why does it really matter when the wedding actually happens?

[Sailorgirl]

what's the big rush to get married? you have your whole lives for god's sakes! if you're really going to end up together in the end, why does it really matter when the wedding actually happens?

When someone wants to marry, they want to marry. Whether it is after 1 day together or 10 years. My parents got married after 3 months and have since had 4 children and have now been together happily for 30 Years.no guess people just know when it is right!

Yaaamiii - have you considered a wedding planner? Really takes the stress out of it. Even getting relatives involved to take the pressure off, it can really help. Also give yourself enough time to plan, doing it quickly and last minute can be very stressful - make a plan over however many months you have, and just tackle everything one by one. Good luck!

[kacie]

The internet is a wonderful thing, I'm planning most of my wedding from a distance, it's not easy but I'm doing it. I will be taking a trip over there to meet with people, and to actually see the church that we'll be married in! My SO has taken lots of pictures of it so I know what it looks like and can ise them to plan everything else

[Yaaamiii]

what's the big rush to get married? you have your whole lives for god's sakes! if you're really going to end up together in the end, why does it really matter when the wedding actually happens?

I'm gonna have to agree with sailorgirl on this. My SO and I will have been together for 5 years by the time we get married. We've always known we wanted to get married after we finished school, that's just what works for us :P. Trust me if we really wanted to have a rushed wedding, we would have married in college or something but we both wanted to finish school first. We're also both practicing Catholics so a wedding just makes sense XD.


Sailorgirl- I have a story that can top that! My mom had a friend back home who met a guy at a party and had only been together for 2 physical hours. He went back to Canada, but when he came back, he came back to get her and marry her. 2. Hours. And yes, they're still happily married. Crazy huh? I have considered a wedding planner but they're so expensive aren't they? I guess I'd have to check prices in my area jeje :P.

Kacie- ok so you're doing what I'm referring to? My SO will be the one in your shoes though. I just don't know how much he actually needs to be here in person for :0...I guess catering places let you come try their food?

[lyonsgirl]

I'm less than 3 months away from our wedding day. I have planned the entire thing from over 500 miles away. He lives there. We decided that during two visits we would be strictly wedding related things. So one visit we met with the church, the bakery, the photographers, the caterer, the DJ, and had engagement pictures taken. Yes, it was a busy weekend, but we had done research online on all of the vendors we were looking into, and so we basically did "interviews" with them and confirmed that our choices were good. Maybe that would work for you two, then he could be there to pick the vendors.

Does he care more about one thing than another? For us, I care more about the pictures, and he cares more about the DJ. So, I gave him some suggestions that I had found for a DJ, and he picked the one he liked the best. I pretty much picked our photogs. You really don't need to be together to plan, as deceptive as that may be. Your visits will probably revolve around the wedding planning, though.

[Yaaamiii]

I'm less than 3 months away from our wedding day. I have planned the entire thing from over 500 miles away. He lives there. We decided that during two visits we would be strictly wedding related things. So one visit we met with the church, the bakery, the photographers, the caterer, the DJ, and had engagement pictures taken. Yes, it was a busy weekend, but we had done research online on all of the vendors we were looking into, and so we basically did "interviews" with them and confirmed that our choices were good. Maybe that would work for you two, then he could be there to pick the vendors.

Does he care more about one thing than another? For us, I care more about the pictures, and he cares more about the DJ. So, I gave him some suggestions that I had found for a DJ, and he picked the one he liked the best. I pretty much picked our photogs. You really don't need to be together to plan, as deceptive as that may be. Your visits will probably revolve around the wedding planning, though.

Thanks! very helpful. I was mostly worried about most of the planning falling on me. But we're still in the early stages of planning. We know we wanna do the ceremony/reception in our church, since that's where we first met, so we've got that down already Jaja .

[lyonsgirl]

Thanks! very helpful. I was mostly worried about most of the planning falling on me. But we're still in the early stages of planning. We know we wanna do the ceremony/reception in our church, since that's where we first met, so we've got that down already Jaja .

My SO said from the beginning that he wanted to be involved with the planning. Unfortunately, since you're the bride, you will be stuck with most of it. Because that's how it works.

Can you have a reception at your church? I only ask because although there's a space where we could have the reception at the church we are getting married in, they don't allow receptions to take place at all.

[nicole]

I planned pretty much our entire wedding from a distance, 95% by myself. My SO essentially picked out his suit and turned up. I did the rest. I booked our venue and registrar ( we had a secular wedding- I dunno if your church requires counseling sessions which might bring up some difficulties??) before I moved to America, then the rest I did from here in the States.

I ended up paying a wedding planner $150 to put me in contact me with the suppliers the venue didn't produce- chair covers because the venue's were red and gold- not good for a blue and white wedding-, and florist. I was lucky because my venue gave exclusive rights to a certain DJ company and caterer, so I didn't have to do much. My venue had their own chairs and table so I didn't have to rent anything. My caterer supplied all the wait staff, food, alcohol, linens, silverware etc, and provided a master of ceremonies so I had very few vendors to deal with really. My venue, florist and wedding planner all skyped with me, the others emailed back and forth, and it all worked out! Thank goodness for the internet!

I also did some DIY stuff which were a tiny bit difficult to transport, but my parents visited beforehand so I gave them a lot of stuff to take home with them!

[garnet]

I planned the wedding while Rane and I worked on his Visa. We did not have a large traditional wedding - but for what we did, I just took pictures to get his approval, and then I would book. It was the best we could do, and it turned out perfectly.

[lucybelle]

We had a very small wedding and most of the planning involved was like "everyone show up here".

I did it all, and it was fine. I showed my SO some stuff, but he had never even been there before so he had no idea. It came out nicely I think. But again, it was very, very low key.

[nicole]

I will add, I did have other ideas like setting up a photo booth, bunting, and sparklers for the evening (You can only really get them Nov-Dec in England), but it just proved too much of a hassle trying to do it from over here. I think if you're having a bigger wedding, make sure you understand your limits. If it's causing you that much stress, and it isn't essential, just drop it, because honestly, you won't miss it.

[Malaga]

I told my SO when the time comes he'll have to plan it out because I can't and don't want to get into it. He said OK but we might end up having the reception at KFC. I'm good with that.

My friend got married to her LD fiance a few months ago, she had to plan it all out over distance as well, with a six hour difference. It was a low key wedding as well. It was stressful and she was at times really pissed off at him not being involved much but I think that's quite common with guys. It worked out fine for them anyway, I'm sure it will for you too.

[Riyko]

I'd think if anything maybe he should at least be there in person to pick out a venue with you and maybe decide on a cake you want together, otherwise i don't think he physically needs to be there to help. Now for the wedding planner question if you want one, go to the local colleges/universities and find students who are going to graduate/just graduated to be a wedding planner (maybe in their last year or recently graduated) who wants to add a wedding to their portfolio and will plan the wedding really cheap or even free. A lot of times newly graduated or someone who is getting ready to graduate will help you plan your wedding on the condition that you let them use your wedding in their portfolio.

Good luck!

[LadyDaemon]

I concur with others. You don't necessarily NEED him there to plan your wedding. I think you can do most of it yourself. Like even though me and my fiance have closed the distance,I'm still planning this pretty much by myself. He's just one of those guys that doesn't really get into it. If you need any help there's a couple of wedding planning websites that you can use to help you. I'm personally putting everything into a blog,so maybe if you'd like to do something like that to help you then you can do that too.

Websites:
https://www.weddingwire.com
https://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planner.aspx