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Sort of engaged now?

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    Sort of engaged now?

    Hey LFAD! Been a couple weeks since I've been around ^^; My guy was down and we basically swore off most computer usage beyond YouTube and Netflix for the time period ^^;

    So... we almost eloped on the first night he came down but then decided against it because he has one semester left in school and if we got married he'd have to redo his financial aid forms for school and since I'm working I'd be counted as a co-dependent even though we wouldn't be able to live together yet and his funding might get docked. So we decided against eloping.

    However, we kind of decided we want to get married as soon as we can after he graduates in April. His mom suggested that we get married the first week of May, the week before we go to his sister's wedding (which is on a cruise and that way, in her words, "the honeymoon will already be taken care of"). He wants to keep that open as a possibility so he hasn't said no to it, but he wants to give me a bigger ring before we get married (Christmas 2012 he gave me a promise ring that would've worked for me as an engagement ring but he says it's not big enough). I asked him if that meant we were engaged and his response was, "Well, I guess technically we're engaged now, but not officially until I give you the ring. So don't change your Facebook yet."

    So I'm sort of engaged! *sort of halfway happy-shruggy face* Yay?

    #2
    Sort of congrats then!?

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      #3
      If you're engaged, you're engaged. If you're not, then you're not. IMO, there is no "middle ground". But, hooray for talking about marriage!

      If I were you, I would strongly avoid getting married the week before his sister and using her wedding cruise as your honeymoon. For a number of reasons. #1) you'll be around of his family, none of yours, and all of her in-laws. #2) my brother-in-law announced his engagement roughly 4 months before our wedding, and stated they planned on getting married within 2 months. I can now openly and honestly say that I was pissed at him for "stealing the spotlight" from us - as we had been planning our wedding day for roughly 9 months at that point. Irrational? Yes. But it's how I felt - and, I'll be honest, it almost ruined our relationship. #3 - and this is a biggie) You'll be around his family. Whether or not you engage in pre-marital "adult activities" (I'm censoring since this isn't the Adults board), you'll be newly married. and you'll want to escape and just stay in your hotel room and not be bothered by anyone.

      Anyway, in the end, it is your (you & him, not you & him & his mom) decision.


      2016 Goal: Buy a house.
      Progress: Complete!

      2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
      Progress: Working on it.

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        #4
        Thanks wasn't really asking for advice, though. I'll close the thread as I was only meaning to make an announcement.

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