The right time to propose?

[kittyxuchiha11]

I'm just wondering out of interest when do you guys think is the right time to propose is.
My thoughts on it are maybe after two or three years of being in love.
When do you think the right time to is?

[BabyGund]

Weeeellll, he actually proposed after 6 1/2 months. We're technically engaged but I don't have a ring and we're not planning a wedding. I think he asked more to let me know he saw a long term future with me.

It really depends on the couple. He knows he wants to be married to me and asked.

[snow]

I think it is different from couple to couple and situation to situation.
My man's sister got engaged after 6 months and they saved money for several years to establish themselves and got married 2 years ago after being together for 10 years. My big sister got engaged after being with her now husband for 1 year, but they are also in their 30s, both have jobs and know what their goals in life are.
So, to me, it also depends on age. I would think most 16 year olds getting engaged after 2 years of being together (started at 14) would be too young for it, not because they haven't been together long enough, but because they haven't experienced adult hardships of how to deal with getting a job, losing a job, having money problems, going through sickness, etc, etc.

I am a strong believer of things coming naturally, like every step in a relationship should. So instead of giving a timeline when someone should propose to their significant other, I think you should both know this person really well and know that you want to be together for a lifetime.

Also: Still not getting the colors and fonts right, but you're on the way, BabyGund.

[squeeker]

I think that it depends on the couple and will vary from couple to couple. And what engagement means to you.

2-3 years is a decent amount of time.. but like snow said, I think if the couple is very young, then they should wait longer typically because they are still growing and changing ...

Personally I don't think there's a right 'time' except for when the couple has the resources to have a wedding and live together comfortably, and also when they have been together long enough to know they want to commit to that person through good times and bad.. sickness and health.. you know.. but it depends on the couple's definition of engagement and marriage..

[Heavenly_Love12]

I agree with everyone else, it depends on the couple. I'm a big believer that maturity and where you are in life are more significant than the amount of time you have been dating. I think that if you only started dating and get engaged after a few months, that is a bit fast but it is not my life and I'm not the one in the relationship. I'm in the military and it is notorious for young married couples. People also get married sooner than if they were civilians due to changing bases/locations and some do it also for the increase in pay and being able to move out of the dorms. The military also has a higher than average divorce rate; some say it's due to deployments/moving around a lot/no say in what happens but many are due to marrying too quickly. For example, one of my co-workers got married after knowing this guy 6 weeks! They separated and started going through the divorce process 7 months later. They didn't even make it to a year of knowing each other before they got divorced, that's ridiculously fast in my opinion.

Being able to emotionally, physically, and financial handle a marriage are most important. I do not believe in divorce except in extreme circumstances and would not marry someone if I were not going to stick it out through the good and the bad. Like squeeker said, it also depends on what an engagement means to the couple. Some people view it as the next step and others view it as something that should occur only if you are ready to marry soon. I am in the group with the latter and would like a year or less of an engagement. 2-3 years is generally the going rate but I don't think people should be judged for getting engaged sooner or much later than that time period. It's their life and hopefully they are doing what is best for them.

My SO wants to get engaged this year. We have known each other well since 2009, dated for a little less than a year and a half CD, have been best friends again since August 2012, and have been in a relationship LD since November 2012 with a break for a couple months. To some, it may seem fast if we get engaged this year but we know that we know each other extremely well and that we can both handle a marriage.

[BlueCat]

Pat and I were together 7 years before we got engaged. It wasn't a matter of not wanting to be with each other, or not having an interest in it, but I think more that we weren't in a place where we knew we were close to actually being together in a permanent situation, so I think it was more environmental than emotional factors that led to it being a long dating process before engagement. But I don't mind Also, for us. Engagement wasn't a "now we're going to get married in this amount of time" it was a we're ready to take that next step and want to show each other how committed we are to this.

The proposal itself was nothing special. We were both sick with horrible colds at the time so neither of us looked particularly attractive, lol. We were watching tv together, he turned off the tv, got down on his knees and proposed Now we've been engaged for 2 years. Nothing wrong with that.

[jana89]

Personally I´m not a fan of long term engagement, I believe that if you get engaged, you should start to plan the actual wedding and get married in about a year. I don´t say it is the right way, I just feel it this way. That is why I think the propose should come in a moment when the couple is settled, financially independent and mature enough to such a commitment.

[piratemama]

Personally I´m not a fan of long term engagement, I believe that if you get engaged, you should start to plan the actual wedding and get married in about a year. I don´t say it is the right way, I just feel it this way. That is why I think the propose should come in a moment when the couple is settled, financially independent and mature enough to such a commitment.

I was thinking this same thing, although most people do get engaged. At my age and with all my past experiences under my belt, I'm all for us deciding to get married and then running off and doing it. A long-term engagement works for couples that want to commit to marriage and not lose a partner to someone else. It's also fun for the younger crowd. I've been engaged more than once. That didn't work out too well. The first guy was when I was very young (18), and we broke up when I caught him lying like crazy. The second guy was a recovering drug addict, porn addict, and alcoholic, when we got engaged. However, his recovering part didn't last long, so I left that relationship. He died young due to his life style, so I'm glad I didn't marry him. The last one was my ex-husband; enough said on that one.

I want everything to be different with my SO, because he is special and our love is special. I'm hoping one day he'll ask me, and we will go and immediately marry.

For the OP, time isn't the issue. You propose when you know you are head over heels in love and can not live without that person. You don't want someone else coming along and taking your love from you. You can be that in love and that prepared for a commitment at any point. As you get older, you learn what is important, though. You learn that patience is a good thing, and time can give you a much needed solid basis for the love to thrive.

[stormy]

Well OP,

I think you can see that there is not right time that fits for everyone! By way of our most recent conversations it seems like my SO and I will be engaged by the end of this year. Then we are working to close the distance about exactly a year from around the time it is likely to happen (based on when he will be coming here to meet with my parents and all of that). He and I dated briefly as teens in our first year of college. We just started dating again about 5 months ago and with seven years added to our maturity, life experiences etc... we're ready. Neither of us even saw this coming when we had reconnected as just friends.

[BabyGund]

Also: Still not getting the colors and fonts right, but you're on the way, BabyGund.

Snow, I appreciate it, but unless Michelle PMs me and asks me personally, I am going to continue to express my individuality through the colors and fonts available. Thanks.

[Ahava]

Why shouldn't you be allowed to use colours?

[snow]

Snow, I appreciate it, but unless Michelle PMs me and asks me personally, I am going to continue to express my individuality through the colors and fonts available. Thanks.

Why shouldn't you be allowed to use colours?

Michelle is not going to PM ever single person who is breaking forum rules. If you want me to, I can drop her a PM and let her know, but she posted this topic for all of us to see and acknowledge: https://members.lovingfromadistance....537#post330537

- Do not use anything other than the standard font/color/size/etc. Reading things like this is neither easy nor enjoyable, and even small changes can make things much more difficult for people with visual disabilities.

Now stay on topic, please.

[Ahava]

Michelle is not going to PM ever single person who is breaking forum rules. If you want me to, I can drop her a PM and let her know, but she posted this topic for all of us to see and acknowledge: https://members.lovingfromadistance....537#post330537


Now stay on topic, please.

I did read that about a year a go, guess I had forgotten this.

Okay

There was recently this other thread that turned into quite a debate about getting engaged/marriage etc.
As to everything in life, also this is a topic that has as many opinions as there a people.

I don't think there is any right way of doing it. Each couple writes their own love story.

[rachel.guffey]

Yes, different for every couple, but personally I am glad we have waited so long. Seven years and we still aren't engaged, and I don't see it happening in the near future. I would've married him at 18 if he had asked, I mean hey we had already been together for 4 years, we were ready right? Wrong! Time and distance has given us the chance to grow up, figure out what we want, and realize that there is more to life than just marriage and babies. I do want to marry him, but I'm proud to be 21, in a long-term/long-distance relationship, and not married.

[eeelaynuh]

My SO and I have not taken the leap to engagement. However, we both know that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. We talk about how we can't wait to be married, and the other day he even asked me about the kind of ring I wanted. We have no intention of getting engaged for several years, but its nice to know. (: