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    Family's and friends reactions

    I am new to this website and have seen lots of posts of people asking for advice or reactions.

    I am curious to know how other couples dealt with reactions from people around them.

    Me and my LD boyfriend met online in November 2013.
    At that time we were both in a different relationship.
    Right now, 10 months later, he is officially my boyfriend and he has visited me in my home town. He has met my parents and friends and everyone loves him.

    I've noticed that I'm hesitant to tell coworkers, or -not so close- friends the real story of how we met because I'm afraid of being judged.
    So we made up a story to tell people who aren't close to us. Now that I know he will propose to me soon I want to know if it's bad to lie about it. And would you tell them about the engagement?
    Has anyone else had the same feelings? How did you deal with it?
    I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
    Last edited by VeraRyan; September 9, 2014, 04:29 PM.

    #2
    I've told few co workers, but they all seem to support me. Which is. Nice ^-^
    "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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      #3
      My SO doesn't like telling people how we met so it's the partial truth we tell people. In the end it doesn't matter what other people know. People do tend to put down the whole online romance thing. My SO
      gets it a lot saying that because we are Long distance that it isn't real. Who cares what others think as long as you two are happy with the story you tell that's all that matters. I don't think omitting the truth is a bad thing when it come to how you met.

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        #4
        You might be jumping the gun a bit here, you've only been a couple since June. After you've been in the relationship for a time, you start to not care about telling people how you've met nearly as much, and you care less about how people judge you for it. They'll find out you're engaged eventually, and lies are easily discovered. When you gain enough confidence in your relationship, just tell people the truth. Like Judge Judy says, if you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
        Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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          #5
          People will find out anyway so what's the point in lying ^_^

          I'm not ashamed that me and my SO met online or anything, and from the beginning everyone knew how I did. They was all dubious of course but I was careful and I'm happy so I say sod their reaction.

          I also got engaged in June, his family didn't take it well. They didn't even congratulate us because they assumed that the engagement meant he'd be moved over to me in a matter of weeks. After he went back to NL after he proposed to me, he explained to them the engagement was just him confirming and restating in actions his commitment to us and that it wasn't an impulse thing, and we are looking to close the distance in the next year - not straight away. They realised this (after 2yrs of us being a couple with multiple visits) and they're fine with it. Even if they didn't like the fact, we are engaged - I'm not gonna change how I tell our story or sugarcoat it just because of others reactions.

          Be happy, be proud of your story. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of how you met. If you're happy then share your story with them. If they turn their nose up at you for it then screw them

          That's how I see it. You shouldn't be ashamed of the one you're in love with or telling people about your circumstances. You don't have to go in full blown details, just a summary and make sure that people you're telling know that regardless of their opinion - you're happy with it and that's how it is.

          Good luck! And goedenacht

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            #6
            I tell people the truth - why lie?
            It is no different meeting some-one randomly online playing a crappy FB game than it was meeting my ex in a club, dating for a week and then starting to go out. In this case we have been online friends for over 3 years before getting romantically involved. It is not 'official' until after we meet again.

            Most my friends are sad that it will likely mean that I will be leaving the Uk at some point in the future, the same for my mum and sister. but my dad did not take the news well. in fact that is an understatement.

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              #7
              Meeting online is not as stigmatized as it has been a couple years ago. The other day my fiance told me that one out of 8 couples getting married in the US last year had met online and while he can't find the link anymore, I found a different link that says 1/3 of the US marriages started out online.
              ~> https://www.nydailynews.com/life-sty...icle-1.1362743

              I told my family and my friends, they hated me for it. He told his family and friends and they thought it was brave and they were happy for him. He did tell some of them that we have met before, but when he realized that no one cared, he stopped. They were actually really excited for him to finally meet me.

              Relationship began: 05/22/2012
              First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
              Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
              Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
              Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
              Married: 1/24/2015
              Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                #8
                My SO and I met on a dating site and we are not ashamed of how our relationship started. We proudly talk about our very first email and our very first skype chat and our first meeting. You should see me blush when he recalls how I was hiding near the escalator lol

                Be proud gir! It's your life and the opinions of others matters not, especially if they aren't even close friends or family.
                Met Online : July 2013
                Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
                2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
                3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
                Proposal : December 2014
                Closed distance : February 2015
                Married : April 5, 2015


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                  #9
                  Thank you !
                  Congratulations on your engagement.
                  Are you learning dutch? My bf is and he says it's really hard!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by VeraRyan View Post
                    Thank you !
                    Congratulations on your engagement.
                    Are you learning dutch? My bf is and he says it's really hard!
                    Yes I am I have been since April, and it can be quite difficult but I have a few resources that help me. If you'd like me to link you them, just PM me

                    En dank je wel

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                      #11
                      We are both open about how we met, he is because he's a very confident person and really doesn't care what anyone says to him.
                      I tell the world because before him I was single for 10years, I think everyone is just so shocked that I've actually found someone who fits with me that they forget the whole LDR / met online situation lol

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