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    #1

    Engaged, what now?

    My SO proposed to me on my trip to the US. It was perfect until we encountered some issues.
    From the first time we've started talking about closing the distance we decided to do the k1 visa.
    We planned to have a small wedding party in his moms back yard next summer.
    The day of the proposal we also bought a wedding dress. Which is beautiful in any way! Very simple and casual, which is exactly how I vision our 'wedding'.

    But now, here is our problem. My SO's divorce is taking forever. It wont be official until the end of november. Which means we can't get the k1 visa process started until then.
    The information we have says the process from filing to approval takes about 10 months.
    Which means the wedding cant be until October...
    My wedding dress is short and strapless. Which is bad... Even worse is that my SO is a teacher and has the whole summer off. Which is why we planned on getting married in the summer. That way I could get used to my new home and town. In October my SO obviously has to be back at work.

    This makes me so sad. Nothing ever works out as planned because of his stupid ex wife.
    I needed a place to vent. Comments and advice are very welcome.
    Thank you!
    Tags: engaged, visa
    #2
    You have to look into the divorce laws, because I know that some states don't consider you able to re-marry until X months after the divorce has been finalized. I know that you can get denied when that timeframe doesn't match, because he was not "free to marry" and you both need to be free to marry to apply for the K-1 visa.

    You can get very lucky, yesterday I read of someone who had to wait 20 days where I had to wait 5 months and 2 weeks, but you can also get unlucky and have it take more than 10 months before you even get to the steps in your home country. The time-frame from beginning to end is about 10 months, so that's right.

    All you can really do is get the divorce finalized, make sure that you are within the timeframe of being able to apply for the visa and apply as soon as you can. The longer you wait, the longer it will take in the long run.

    Relationship began: 05/22/2012
    First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
    Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
    Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
    Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
    Married: 1/24/2015
    Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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      #3
      Congrats on your engagement.

      The reality of international relationships is that we are all dependent on a set of laws and have to plan accordingly to these laws.

      My advice is: buy a new dress when you have a reasonable time frame.
      I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

      Comment

        #4
        Buy a new, long sleeve wedding dress. The strapless one you can use for dancing late in the evening! And count your blessings if that's the biggest issue you encounter.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
          And count your blessings if that's the biggest issue you encounter.
          LOL

          What's the hurry to get married, I mean you haven't been together that many months (3 or 4?) , why not postpone it to the following summer?
          That way you can still use the same dress.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Ahava View Post
            LOL

            What's the hurry to get married, I mean you haven't been together that many months (3 or 4?) , why not postpone it to the following summer?
            That way you can still use the same dress.
            Umm wow! I just saw the relationship start date! I think you are getting into this WAY too fast. Listen to Ahava's advice and give yourself some time. What's the hurry, after all? You are 22 and your SO is barely out of a previous marriage

            Was this your first trip together? How long was it? I'm no expert in US immigration laws, but at least if it were Finland, engagement on the first visit would seem sketchy to the immigration office.
            I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

            Comment

              #7
              They ask for evidence of meeting within the last two years. Putting aside the idea of getting married so incredibly soon, I have a feeling you guys would be in for RFE (requests for evidence) delays and a grilling once you finally get approved for the visa interview. I think you should be sort of glad the divorce forces you to wait before starting the K1, instead of rushing it now and botching it. Take your time!

              Married: June 9th, 2015

              Comment

                #8
                I think the other posters have valid points. If he's the one, it's worth waiting for. Use the dress next summer, it'd be a shame to waste your money on it.

                Comment

                  #9
                  I have to agree..why rush? plan your summer wedding..for the following year. Your SO will need time to heal from his divorce and you will both benefit from that.
                  Best wishes.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Thanks to everyone for all the replies. Yes we were officially in a relationship in June but we've known each other for a year.
                    This was our second time together. December will be the third. For the visa we have to get married. If it wasn't for that I wouldnt rush in to that. I agree with all your comments.
                    We will figure it out. I needed to hear other opinions on it too.
                    Thank you!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      my GF and I are in the same boat that realistically marriage is the only way for us to close the distance, but even though we have known each other for 3 years and officially together since July (even though we had been discussing committing to each other a lot earlier than that), we are being a bit slow and cautious. There are many reasons for that for us, but one of them is that if the US thinks that it is a 'sham' wedding to get a visa that can refuse you regardless!

                      There is nothing to say that you can't be married, and then start the visa process afterwards either (which is actually what I think we will do!), personally would say to you both, wait until the divorce is through, have the wedding next summer take the next steps after that.

                      yes being apart sucks, but a year or so's wait and delay will be like a drop in the ocean compared to the rest of your lives together.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Congrats on the engagement!
                        While every country has different processing times, our K1 visa processing got done in just about 6 months from the time we submitted the application to the time he physically received his visa on his passport. We even "slowed" the process down a little to fit into our timelines by not completing the DS160 right away.
                        Good luck with everything!

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