Just bought a ring and have a plan

[hmrambling]

Also, the university sent her a contract for the assistantship last Friday. She has a couple of questions for them before she signs it. She is leaning toward signing the contract. Today is our two year anniversary.

[hmrambling]

Update

We're scheduled to close on a house in the same city as my work and the school where she has the assistantship contract. She has a contract for 3 years. She does bring up weddings and marriage every once in a while, but it feels very weird given that experience when I proposed to her. In some ways, I completely try to block out the proposal like it never happened. I've really left it on her and we will deal with it on her terms, as she is the one who suggested we live together first and then marry later.

[hmrambling]

Another update:

We've been living in the same house for about a year now. She completely surprised me Saturday night.







She asked me to marry her. She shared how she wants to have a future together and now sees us getting married. We now have nearly matching art deco rings.

[kittyxuchiha11]

Another update:

We've been living in the same house for about a year now. She completely surprised me Saturday night.







She asked me to marry her. She shared how she wants to have a future together and now sees us getting married. We now have nearly matching art deco rings.

This made me so so happy to see!!!!!! so happy for you guys, congrats!

[Redheart14]

Congrats!!!!

[Chifuyu4]

omg been following this thread for a year and a half, I'm so happy everything is working out for you guys! Many congratulations on your engagement!!! <3

[Love Distance]

Congratulations! I am glad it worked out and beautiful ring!

[hmrambling]

Https://imgur.com/UITFYkS

I made another ring box so we have matching boxes tomorrow for our ceremony.

[Angel]

Congratulations! That's so lovely!

[hmrambling]

Five years since I posted this.

I should not be surprised we've had a sexless unaffectionate marriage.

Update

I proposed at the Grand Canyon. She said yes and accepted the ring. However, the answer is really no. She doesn't believe in traditional marriage, announcing an engagement, calling each other fiance or wearing engagement rings. She really liked the box. In fact, she liked the box most.

She said she was both sad and jealous that I proposed to her because she had no input and wasn't able to participate in the preparation of the proposal. She really is opposed to one partner proposing to the other and believes that the proposal should be mutual. She argued that one person presenting a ring to the other reaffirms traditions that say one person is dominant and the other person is submissive. She rejects the idea that one person should be dominant and the other person shouldbe submissive in the relationship.

She wants to live together some time in the future, and says that she felt the proposal really pressured her to find a job near me and move in with me. She also perceives it as being easy for me to propose because I'm not really sacrificing anything. I haven't committed to moving closer to her or finding a job near her.

So we're not engaged, have no real plans to marry, are planning a future together and are uncertain about how we will close the distance.

I pled my case and said that our future and relationship can be whatever we want it to be. It doesn't have to conform to what society says it should be. We can do our own thing. I reminded her that we have talked about the future and had very loosely made plans. She participated in those talks and initiated those talks as well. I explained that the proposal was never an attempt to commandeer the relationship, nor establish dominance in the relationship. I encouraged her to open her mind to understanding that we can define our own relationship and be who we want to be.

I feel kind of exhausted with the discussion. I expected questions and a certain level of apprehension, but I didn't expect to have to fully validate the proposal.

I'm baffled about how a mutual proposal would work, especially what the point of it would be if one of the two people rejected the ideal of marriage.

I've resigned to the fact that I've chosen a love avoidant who is unaware of her love avoidance. I believe I am detatched enough that I am giving her enough space to process her own thoughts and feelings. At the same time, the romantic aspect of the trip really lost its luster. Analyzing and validating a proposal doesn't feel romantic at all.

I'm glad she likes the box and I really want to move on.

[IcebergPhat2]

I hope things go well for you, but be careful footing the bill for the whole trip. I've never heard of a gal saying that going to the Grand Canyon is beyond her means, I mean, where did you find this girl, In the caves of WVA? If she genuinely has a glow when she sees that ring.....she's a keeper; bcoz she surely isn't a gold digger. Good Luck Bro