Elope or traditional wedding?

[ScotlandOrBust]

My fiancé and I are getting married. I thought we agreed to elope, just the two of us. Now that his parents have moved back to Scotland he wants them to attend the wedding cause they'll be disappointed if they can't. My family won't be able to fly to Scotland to attend our wedding which is why I thought we were both on the same page family wise. If his family is at our wedding I'm going to lose my shit!

Anywho... you've been in a LDR. Would you want to elope (just the two of you) or have a family wedding (even if it's one sided)?

[Isfahan]

I'm getting married in September and 90% of the guests will be composed by my family and friends. My SO's brother and mother will also be attending, but that's it.

We never fancied the idea of an elopement because neither of us can think of that day without family, although of couse we cannot have both sides due to prohibitive distance and costs. So we found a compromise: since I care more about the formal ceremony than he does, we decided to get married on paper in my country, with only a few people attending, and then throw a bigger party later on in his country. I'm not much of a people person while he's very very extroverted, so saving the party for his friends and family seemed the best thing to do. We still haven't decided yet, but we are also considering to exchange our wedding rings or vows during the big party and not in the courthouse.
To us, splitting the celebration feels like the fairest decision. I don't know what can work for you, but maybe try to talk with your fiance about this and see whether you can find a compromise based on what you care the most for that day.

Oh and of course, congratulations!!

[ScotlandOrBust]

Thank you and congratulations! Another September wedding!!! 💐💐💐

That was the plan. Have a private ceremony, just us in Scotland, and then a big wedding in Texas next year. My family is 3x bigger than his. I guess I could compromise but at the moment, even though I like his family, I don't want them there.

[Rezie]

I can understand both of your sides. What if you have a civil ceremony in Scotland with his parent as witnesses. It take around 3 minutes if you do the minimal. The you spend the rest of the day just the two of you? Does your SO want them there or he just doens t want to.offend? Does he know for a fact his parents will be offered or is he assuming? It's your day so you can do whatever you want but you will have to accept that there might be some problems and the family have to accept your decision.

Would his family be coming to Texas? If yes then you could discuss how on the day it's just the two of you and in Texas everyone will be there. But if in Texas it's gonna be just your family then we have the same problem.