Intimate Immediate Family-Only Wedding

[mllebamako]

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[lucybelle]

I think it doesn't matter what we think. It's your wedding, not ours If you're happy with a real small wedding, which it's obvious you're delighted with the idea, then do it. I think it'll be perfect for you two!!

I've never been to a small wedding. Inviting just one side of my family would mean like 25 people. I have a big family

[Silviar]

My wedding was like that, with my ex-husband. 25 people total. We received lots of compliments, and everyone absolutely loved it. If you want a small wedding, go for it. It's way more cost effective, and then you have a chance to really talk to everyone.

[Karringtyn]

Whatever you both want...do it. Don't try to please everyone...A wedding is ONE day. So many people do this BIG wedding thing for show...and forget what the day is truly about...the two of them...Having your family and closest friends is wonderful. Having it be truly be intimate. I love the idea...

[mllebamako]

I think it doesn't matter what we think. It's your wedding, not ours

haha yeah. I guess I just wanted to hear about how it went from people who have had one or have been to one. And if they did anything fun/interesting for the wedding that I might incorporate.
I also want to know if they got lots of angry friends/relatives because of this.

Thanks to you loverly ladies who've already responded

[SeattleLove]

I'm not sure yet if I want a small and intimate wedding. It will probably end up being one, because we want to get married here in Germany and I doubt that many of his family will get a super expensive plane ride ticket and a hotel, onyl to see the wedding. So I suppose only his parents and sibilings will be there, my family (probably more than just my parents) and some of my friends. I also really want my best American friend to come to our wedding.
so, let me count....ehm that would be around 7 people from the U.S. and ehm....around 20 from Germany
So it'll be a small wedding, I guess. I'm excited to see how it'll really be
I personally don't like huge weddings or parties in general because they are only made for others. I bet half of the people in big weddings aren't even considered "real friends", if you know what I mean...
I really only want out closest friends (and their partners) and family on our wedding. So yeah, I'm pro intimate wedding

[snow_girl]

The more I think about it, I would prefer a small wedding. My SO is in england and I am in Canada so to make everyone or half the people fly to our wedding would be a huge cost for their flights. Plus I don't know that I would like that much attention on me if there were lots of people.
Do what makes you happy. I am sure some extended family might have something to say but its your wedding so do what you want, don't try to please everyone.

[ioanna]

i am all for a small wedding it puts so much more meaning to sharing the ceremony with people very close to you, and not spending your time worrying about the small talk to make with the friend of your mother who is a cousin from your fathers side (to keep it short lol)
the way i see it, it makes much more sense and is also the "smart" move. weddings have become such an elaborate commercial thing, and here it is also a lot about show off...
you can always have a larger drink/party afterwards, back from the honymoon for instance, to celebrate with a larger group of friends family and coworkers

if this is what you want, go for it

[Moon]

Small weddings are so much more meaningful and nice for everybody, you really feel like a part of it, and as the happy couple, you'd actually get quality time with your guests rather than rushing around, trying to make sure you've said hello to everyone.

I think it could be fun if you have a mix of food from whichever US region you're from and his favorite African foods, so everybody can try each other's specialties and sort of blend the families that way, as food is one of the best ways to connect people

Also, yeah, you might get some people mad, but you might also get someone mad if you had 300 guests, there's always "that" relative or friend who just doesn't get it. You can't worry about that though, at my first wedding, my ex's brother and sis-in-law were LIVID that their young children weren't invited, as it was a completely child-free wedding. This was told to everyone months in advance. A few days before, they were calling everyone, insisting they be allowed to bring these kids to a 7:00pm wedding and reception, when told "NO", they threatened to boycott. "OK, so don't come" was my attitude, it was my wedding, my rules, and I wasn't going to let them coerce me into anything, and all the other guests got sitters. In the end, they came, of course. Minus the rugrats So just do what feels right to you, its your day, don't worry too much about anyone being insulted, they'll get over it.

[mllebamako]

Thanks everyone for your replies

As for extended fam, my side usually has a reunion every few years so we can just have a party during the next reunion. And I know his Mom will be having an enormous coming home party for him so it'll kind of be the same.

I think it could be fun if you have a mix of food from whichever US region you're from and his favorite African foods, so everybody can try each other's specialties and sort of blend the families that way, as food is one of the best ways to connect people

Food is EVERYTHING in my life hahah We will definitely be doing a mixture of African food and...well...Utah food? Just kidding, but I totally agree that it's a great way for people to get to know each other. Plus his family has never been to the mountains so that could be fun!

[Moon]

Food is EVERYTHING in my life hahah We will definitely be doing a mixture of African food and...well...Utah food? Just kidding, but I totally agree that it's a great way for people to get to know each other. Plus his family has never been to the mountains so that could be fun!

lol! For some reason, I could have sworn you said you were from the South, so I was thinking BBQ! Yeah...Utah might be a bit tougher

[mllebamako]

lol! For some reason, I could have sworn you said you were from the South, so I was thinking BBQ! Yeah...Utah might be a bit tougher

His poor family would have to eat Lime Jello and Funeral Potatoes if we went with Utah food
I grew up eating all sorts of cuisines so we'll just incorporate some of my favorites (mostly pasta haha)

ps. Maybe you think I'm from the South b/c my SO grew up in Atlanta and that's where we'll probably move when we go back to the US?

[Silviar]

There's lots of American dishes you could do, though. Depending on what time of day, a breakfast brunch could include traditional American care (biscuits and gravy, yum!), and you'd be surprised how many Americanized things you'd be able to think of to make.

[Moon]

His poor family would have to eat Lime Jello and Funeral Potatoes if we went with Utah food
I grew up eating all sorts of cuisines so we'll just incorporate some of my favorites (mostly pasta haha)

ps. Maybe you think I'm from the South b/c my SO grew up in Atlanta and that's where we'll probably move when we go back to the US?

I had to Wiki funeral potatoes And, for the record, I think funeral potatoes and lime Jello makes a fine feast! I'm just sayin'...
I WAS thinking GA actually, so yep, you must be right about that.

[blankita719]

I actually attended a wedding for some friends who married after a church service. Their church was ery small, basically held in a trailer, so not may people could attend. And it was great. Very sweet to share that moment with the two of them and humbling to know that they considered me just as important as their immediate family.
Before my ex and I split up and we talked about really moving forward with getting married, the plan was the two of us and our boys on the beach with no one else. It was my idea of heaven. Now, I won't do the same with my current SO, but I will likely keep it as small as possible myself. Too much money and emphasis is placed on the wedding itself, where more should focus on the final product of the day - your marriage