How did you know?

[lucybelle]

To those who are currently engaged or married, how did you know you were ready for that step? I've always assumed marriage was a long way off for me (I'm only 23!) but recently I've been thinking that I might be ready. I like to blame my biological clock, which I believe is screaming "REPRODUCE" at me. And the 4 straight hours of wedding shows has probably added fuel to the flame... My SO talks about how he's sure he wants to marry me, which scares me, but honestly I got all sorts of crazy butterflies in my stomach when he brought it up.

So, how did you know for sure that your SO was the right person and you were ready to make the leap?

[mllebamako]

I know this is the most annoying answer but.....I just knew
Ugh I hate when people say that so I'll try to elaborate.

Very early on, I noticed that I was seeing him as my future husband. I realized that I had so many questions for him about how he would raise kids, handle being a husband, etc. I had never wondered that with ex boyfriends (although that could just be a thing that comes with getting older).
When he first brought up us getting married, I noticed that it didn't freak me out as much as I had thought it would. We discussed it ad nauseam. And when I thought about it on my own, I realized that what I really wanted was for us to stand together and take those vows. I knew that I wanted to be next to him in sickness and in health, for rich or poor, and all that jazz.

[lucybelle]

I think that's probably the most honest answer out there. Maybe the reason I'm feeling okay with getting married is because I finally "just know". But lemme not get ahead of myself here...

[ms3]

I am (or rather: was) kind of in a similar situation: I'm 25, and never thoght I would get married before 30.
Then I met this girl from overseas, and once we decided to move together in my country, I started looking for the options. One was getting married, but this scared me off, so I turned to the second, which was nearly impossible (getting a job for which the company can't find anybody in the whole EU). In this time, our relationship evolved. Firstly, I realised that if she's making this big step to move with me, this is a real comittment anyway. And secondly, I wasn't scared of marrying her anymore, I was getting more sure about our relationship and our feelings, and I decided to say yes to this adventure, yes to my fiancée! So now, I'm really looking forward to our wedding and us moving together!

[Zephii]

This is hard to answer. I have a blog post about the transition, but even that probably doesn't answer it.

I noticed that something had changed within me because when people would bring up marriage I had stopped saying "I'm in his country, what more do you want?" or "No way! Live in sin!"

I also knew because I'd been thinking about it on a practical level for a couple of months, and he asked me in the same month I had secretly hoped he would. And I do mean secretly. We never discussed "buying the cow" as we called it. It was not up for discussion at all. The fact we were so on the same page was reassuring.

There was also the fact we were planning when we'd start a family and all that. I've been in this for the long haul from day one, I give my everything, not waiting for marriage. The sample milk is exactly the same as the milk he's going to buy.

If I think of a good way to say it, I'll be back

[Karringtyn]

As someone who has been there already...I guess I am an old pro at engagement and marriage...

But this time...totally different answer....

Because Dan is truly the man I see myself with when I am old(er) and grey(er)...I believe in marriage...and I absolutely LOVE the thought of being that man's WIFE!

And I will have a really funky name...heh!

[michy]

I always had a very hard time picturing what my life would be like in 5, 10, 20 years... it was a huge mysterious blank frame, even through the duration of my first marriage. But when I met my SO that began to change, and the more our relationship developed, the more those empty places began to fill in- colors, images, and life. I can quite easily see us 20 years from now and beyond, and the future has become less a mystery and more a simple truth: we will spend that future together.

[mllebamako]

I always had a very hard time picturing what my life would be like in 5, 10, 20 years... it was a huge mysterious blank frame, even through the duration of my first marriage. But when I met my SO that began to change, and the more our relationship developed, the more those empty places began to fill in- colors, images, and life. I can quite easily see us 20 years from now and beyond, and the future has become less a mystery and more a simple truth: we will spend that future together.

That was such a lovely answer! And I totally agree