Prenuptial agreement?

[blferguson1s]

Here I thought I had already thought of everything for my future with my SO. I hadn't even considered a prenup, and I'm still not going to. We're both young and don't really have a lot that we can truly say is ours (as opposed to our parents). We already share everything anyways so I don't see anything changing. While I know there is always a chance, I plan on us being together forever. As someone said earlier, I'm not going to plan to fail.

[meg]

I'm torn. I think they're a great idea, but the idea of it makes me kinda ill. Like others said, it's like planning to fail at your marriage.
I'll hopefully be earning a decent wage, and I guess I should protect that as much as my partner should protect his.

[Petals]

If anyone asked me this question 10-15 years ago I would have outrightly answered NO for the same reasons many people have posited. However, when I take into consideration how much it means to him that his children from a previous marriage are given a good start in life, I see his point completely. He has experienced the trauma of divorce and how much it ruined his finances, so he knows all too well how a divorce could result in him not having enough assets to leave to his children. He's 47, so if we are married for 15-20 years (God forbids), he'll be in his 60's, so it is highly unlikely that he'll be able to amass enough assets after such age to give his children.

If he didn't have children and was not in his 40's, I would object too; but his reasons for wanting one is reasonable considering his situation.


Question for the posters who say they wouldn't sign one : ARE YOU SAYING THAT THERE ARE NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHERE A PRENUP IS REASONABLE?

[Riyko]

Yes, why because the job i'm going to be doing soon when i graduate with it, i'll be making $100,000+ a year and i don't want want to lose half of that each year in the event of a divorce.

[leonsfangirl]

I believe Kevin Smith summed it up perfectly for me...
'Pre-nups are for pussy's'

[lucybelle]

Not only would I sign a prenup, I will require one before I get married. My mom got screwed royally in her divorce and I just don't want that to happen to me. For those saying "it means a marriage will fail" so what? Most do fail, and I've got to take care of myself first. I imagine relationships of any kind being with the right person at the right time. When that time is over, you might have to move on to the next person. That's not terrible. That's life.

[Micah]

I would do it, but I don't really have a lot of assets to protect!

[mllebamako]

Not only would I sign a prenup, I will require one before I get married. My mom got screwed royally in her divorce and I just don't want that to happen to me. For those saying "it means a marriage will fail" so what? Most do fail, and I've got to take care of myself first. I imagine relationships of any kind being with the right person at the right time. When that time is over, you might have to move on to the next person. That's not terrible. That's life.

*two thumbs up*

[Tanja]

I'm all for it. If one person has a lot of assets and the other one doesn't I think it's purely stupid not to do it. If you never get divorced, that's wonderful and the way it's supposed to be and you'll enjoy each other's wealth together. But man if I was rich and didn't have one and ended up divorcing.. I would regret it forever because I want to make sure I have something to give to my daughter if the worst should happen.

Also what many of you aren't considering is what happens if the other person dies. Cause prenups are used in that case as well - at least here in Finland. My mum and dad signed one because my mum's got a business and my dad wanted to make sure that if she would die before him (god forbid) the company would be left to me and my sister completely, not to my dad.

I think too many people think about it with emotion. It doesn't automatically mean you're GOING TO split up. It's a safety net in case something goes wrong, like wearing a seatbelt.
It's just smart.

[loveanewyorkwoman]

I'm definitely going to bring it up

[blferguson1s]

To who asked the question about if there are any circrumstances in which I would:
I think it's definitely dependent upon the individuals and their situation. For me and my SO, I don't really see a need for it. He just graduated while I still have a couple years left of school. We're both typical college kids with not a lot of money. We're very similar in our assets (as well as everything else) so for us, I'd say it's a no.

However, if I were in a situation like others have talked about (older couples with kids, etc.), I would absolutely consider it. I hadn't considered some of the scenarios others are in because I'm not in that boat and haven't seen anyone else in it before. Some of the opinions and reasoning being discussed are really interesting.

[NaNi]

I actually don't know. My mom always told me to get one, but I don't really like the sound of it. "So, in case we break up..." It just puts such a negative feeling to it! Although my SO did tell me that it wouldn't hurt us in case we do get one, but stay together forever. It would just be there. Untouched.

[Malaga]

I understand the arguments in favour of prenups brought up here, but I don't think I'd do it. Though I'd consider it if children were involved.

I don't think it's either right or wrong to get one, it depends on the person and the couple. I'm putting my heart on the line without any prenup, so why would I be more protective about my assets than my heart? It's a risk I'm just going to have to take. In the end, it's only money. You earn it, you lose it, you earn it again etc.

[lucybelle]

In the end, it's only money. You earn it, you lose it, you earn it again etc.

Hmm.. I think that's way too simple. If it were that easy to just "earn it again" why do we still have so many without jobs, homes, food, etc?

I don't think there's anything negative about a prenup. It's protecting you and your SO from the worst. Just like life insurance. You don't buy it thinking "I'm going to die tomorrow" or get flood insurance because you know your house will flood or even get health insurance because you think you'll break your leg. You do it just in case shit happens. Because when it does, you want to have your butt covered.

[Petals]

Hmm.. I think that's way too simple. If it were that easy to just "earn it again" why do we still have so many without jobs, homes, food, etc?

I don't think there's anything negative about a prenup. It's protecting you and your SO from the worst. Just like life insurance. You don't buy it thinking "I'm going to die tomorrow" or get flood insurance because you know your house will flood or even get health insurance because you think you'll break your leg. You do it just in case shit happens. Because when it does, you want to have your butt covered.

I agree with this ^^^.This is especially true if you are likely to be beyond your prime earning period (if a divorce happens) when it's difficult to rebuild.