Wedding Registries

[London-FortCollins]

Ok this is doing my head in and wedding forums are no help at all. (Because they are viscous b*****!)


I would love a general consensus from people about Wedding gifts/registries and honeymoon registries - opinions?

If you were invited to a wedding what would you prefer to give the couple as a gift?

[snow_girl]

I think wedding registries are a good idea. No sense in getting the couple something they don't want and its a good way to make sure you don't get something someone has already got for them. Just make sure when making a registry to have a wide price range of things you want, so everyone you've invited can afford a gift.

[Moon]

Honestly, I find honeymoon registries tacky as hell, to me the couple should already have the honeymoon taken care of, and should do what they can afford, and I'd never personally contribute to one, but ymmv! Wedding registries are a great way to help a couple get started, and I like the idea of them, but usually use them for the bridal shower instead of the wedding gift, for that I write a check.

[nicole]

never heard of a honeymoon registry... though if it's what I think it is, my sister attended a wedding recently and the bride and groom asked for donations to a honeymoon fund... I wasn't keen on that idea at all.

As for wedding registries, I think they are a good idea. Especially for me personally, being in an international relationship- we can ask for what we need, and it gets sent straight to our house, so we don't need to worry about shipping a load of gifts over from England to the US, and I feel cheeky/rude just asking for money! Also we can get a range of items so people can get us something in a price range they are comfortable with, and we won't get any duplicate gifts. The only trouble I see with us is finding stores which allow an international billing address, as many don't. I only know amazon, JCPenney's and Crate and Barrel which do it.

[Dziubka]

Unless it's the wedding of a really close friend, I mostly give cash in a car

I think registries are a good idea, if there are things you actually need/want. Some people don't like giving cash and that way they have a number of alternatives but don't run into the danger if buying you something you don't need, already have or someone else also gives you.

However, I think rather than a registry I'd ask one of my friends to take care of a present-list and give their contact in the invitations. So people can ask for inspiration, get us something we want/need/don't have and yet, can buy it where they want and for some presents slightly modify them to make them more personal or whatever.
I personally like to shop around for things and I'd feel pretty bummed if I had to order something off a certain page because the couple has their registry there so it's off the registry and noone else gets the same thing for them, when I can find it cheaper or better or whatever somewhere else or make it myself.
And if there is something very specific (eg so-and-so brand coffee machine version x.Yz in shiny orange) we'd want, we'd not be limited to a certain store's offer, either.

[Trethsparr]

Honeymoon registries were a new concept to me, too, and a know a couple of my peers who have had them. I understand other perspectives, as the honeymoon is traditionally taken care of by the hubby-to-be, but I can see how if one were planning to have a more elaborate honeymoon or if one is combining households that already have most items that would go on the wedding registry why one might want to open a honey fund, too. Personally, though, I didn't open one and I'd be much less inclined to contribute to one than I would purchase items off a wedding registry. I like the thought of giving someone an item they can keep for a good while and use for years as opposed to a one-time experience. (Though those can have their merit.)

In my own experience, though, most guests gave us cash or checks than actual gifts off the registry, though some people did. Most people who attended the wedding were traveling, so I can see why they wanted to give us gift cards instead.

If I were buying someone an item off the registry, like I stated previously, I'd like to get the couple something nice that they will use for years, like some nice cookwear or a decorative item for their house. Those tend to have a longer life than most everyday items.

[London-FortCollins]

I can see why people are opposed to honeymoon registries, as it can be very rude to ask outright for cash. But I think that can be combated by the wording and what exactly is listed on the registry. However I think there is a lot of practical merit in them.

For us a honeymoon registry has mainly come out of practicality. Being in an international LDR, it is unfair to ask our USA guests to pay international card or shipping charges for a UK based registry, but on the flip side we wont be able to afford to ship gifts from the States to the UK.

So our solution is to have two small actual gift registries one in each country (with the one in the USA being things we can pack and bring with us easily like small utensils, towels, bed sheets etc) and then the honeymoon registry.

We are stressing to people (especially those travelling) that we do not expect a gift and their presence and love is more than gift enough. But for those "people who insist" - we have the registries.

[CaptainKaz]

I honestly wouldn't mind contributing money to a honeymoon, or generally just money towards any sort of fund. These days, a lot of couples already have the basics that make up a home from living in their own place or living together before they get married (something less likely with LDRs, admittedly). So, I'd much rather give something - whether it's money or a gift specifically requested - that they actually need or want.

I also have awful taste and wouldn't want to inflict it one anyone else, so I'd much rather just be pointed in the right direction and hand over my credit card.

[snow_girl]

For us a honeymoon registry has mainly come out of practicality. Being in an international LDR, it is unfair to ask our USA guests to pay international card or shipping charges for a UK based registry, but on the flip side we wont be able to afford to ship gifts from the States to the UK.

If I am not mistaken, I am pretty sure that your foreign relatives are able to purchase something from the registry online with a credit card and you are able to pick it up in store locally.

[London-FortCollins]

Unfortunatly I don't think many people have credit cards. And Im peetty certain they would still have to pay international charges which along with the dollar not being very good against the pound may put some people off.

I'll look into that though - didn't think about collection! thank you

Ultimatly we're just wanting out guests to have enough options to get us something if they do choose to give us a gift.