Civil ceremony and a wedding registry

[threecheers9980]

So my SO and I are planning to get married in a civil ceremony in October with a ceremony for family and friends at a later date. I was just wondering if it would be considered bad taste to sign up for a wedding registry at a place like Walmart or something. We'll probably send out marriage announcements after we get married and I figured that if people want to send us gifts (we definitely won't be asking for any or expecting any) and ask us if we're registered, we could direct them to the registry. What do you guys think?

[Zephii]

Personally I think it's bad taste, but I'm against registry's to begin with. I'd say wait until you do the ceremony. But I'm not good at this stuff at all lol

[xnavylovex118]

That's actually what me and my SO did, and our family actually told us both they would have been disappointed if we hadn't made any registries because they wanted to somehow be able to celebrate our marriage. :]

[London-FortCollins]

I think that some people would like to get you a gift regardless of what, where or how big the wedding was. (Arnt people nice like that?!) and it makes their lives - and yours - easier if you have at least a small registry somewhere.

Its entirely up to you if you want to say where it is when you announce the wedding. Personally I dont see a problem with that - but your the best judge of your friends and family and if they are likely to take offence at that. If they are likely to, perhaps just have some little notecards or something so that if people do ask if you are registered somewhere your ready to give them all the info.

(PS - Just literally did our registry today at Target - those guns are SO much fun!)

[nicole]

We're doing something similar, we were just planning on making a registry for the Big Ceremony, mainly because we are keeping the initial Civil Ceremony on the DL and we're not acknowledging it as a "wedding".

Have you thought of maybe creating a website for you and your SO? You can put your story and such on there, eventually put the family and friends ceremony info on there later. You can create a page for a registry on there too, and just put a disclaimer "we're not expecting gifts, but if you want to get us something...." That way you could put your website on the marriage announcements and not a registry, if you're worried people would think you were pushing them for gifts.

[Dziubka]

I agree with Zephii in that it's bad taste.
I'm not against wedding registries as such. If people want to give me something, I'd rather they give me something I need and that I don't get the same thing five times. I'd do it more discreet and make someone responsible for the gifts, who people can contact. A living wedding registry. I'm not a fan of registering at some place because... what if the place doesn't have all the stuff you want? What if people could find whatever you want cheaper somewhere else or can make it themselves?
Anyway, this isn't about wedding registries and I'm rambling.
I'd say don't do it. If you're not expecting gifts, then why send out a list of propositions?
If people want to give you something, they can always give money or contact you and ask if you're registered somewhere.

[lucybelle]

Yeah I think if you don't want any and don't expect any gifts, then just leave it at that. If your close friends want to get you something they will. They know you and know what you'd like, or will ask you. But I've never been a fan of registries. I just throw newly weds a check. That's really what they need!

[rivi87]

Yea I don't plan on doing anything like that until our 2nd ceremony/celebration where it is more fun and family and friends oriented

[Thad]

Check out theknot.com. There is a Q+A section, and I believe I read a similar question. I think it wasn't in bad taste as long as you don't list it on invites. They suggested word-of-mouth or creating a wedding website. (Also, this will likely vary depending on what part of the world your coming from.)

Congrats!

[London-FortCollins]

^^^ Personally I find theknot very helpful but at the same time they're "rules" dont allow much room for individuality or creativity of couples. In particular wedding registries are a very hotly debated subject.

As with most aspects of your wedding planning, think about you and your partner and also your guests. If they are likely to be offended by a wedding registry, I like the idea of a "human registry" as Dziubka suggested.

Also bare in mind as Thad said that it greatly depends on where in the world you are. For example in Itay its widely accepted to ask for "gifts in an envelope" (ie: cash) whereas in most of the USA that would be considered rude. Play it by ear and use your better judgement of your guests.

[Rugger]

I agree with Zephii in that it's bad taste.
I'm not against wedding registries as such. If people want to give me something, I'd rather they give me something I need and that I don't get the same thing five times. I'd do it more discreet and make someone responsible for the gifts, who people can contact. A living wedding registry. I'm not a fan of registering at some place because... what if the place doesn't have all the stuff you want? What if people could find whatever you want cheaper somewhere else or can make it themselves?
Anyway, this isn't about wedding registries and I'm rambling.
I'd say don't do it. If you're not expecting gifts, then why send out a list of propositions?
If people want to give you something, they can always give money or contact you and ask if you're registered somewhere.

There are websites that let you register multiple places so that you can get everything you need from where you want it.