Living together before marriage

[kiara_silver]

So whats your opinion on this. I read some things that say that this way has a higher divorce rate, or that it less likely leads to marriage. So what do you think? Whats your pro's and con's about living together before marriage?

[Sharon Q]

I'm personally all for it. It lets you get to know your SO better before making a big step like marriage

[LakayLovesRay]

you have to know whether you can tolerate living with one another before you actually get marrieddd .(:

[Soyokaze]

Personally, I agree with Sharon and Lakay. I can't imagine waiting until we're ready to be married before living together. If it were up to me I'd be testing our cohabitation abilities tomorrow.

[kat4301]

A lot of times when people live together they split a lot things like housework, bills, etc. Then sometimes there is this habit to take on gender roles (for heterosexual couples) once you are wearing a ring (Some researchers have cited this reason for the higher divorce rates). So I think it depends on the couple and what they expect their married relationship to be like. Personally, I think there are many pros to living together. You get a sense for one another financially, how you handle housework, time together vs. time alone, and you can try out some things. Back when my SO and I were able to live together, we were both repsonsible for different things at different times. When I worked shorter shifts I would cook, when he was on an extended vacation he did all the cooking, so we have both felt working vs. staying home and how the other person handles housework and doing more for the other. I also think the decision needs to be based on what you think marriage is, for us, its really about signing a piece of paper and having a big party, we have gone through most of the other stuff already, but many times its more of a significant lifestyle change. So, I would think a lot about your own expectations and meanings of marriage and cohabitating.

[oukeying]

If living together less likely leads to marriage, maybe it's a good thing that these couples chose to live together before getting married, because if their relationship didn't work out after living together, their marriage probably wouldn't have worked out either. I would have thought living together before marriage would lead to a lower divorce rate ; hmm.

[yayagrl]

If living together less likely leads to marriage, maybe it's a good thing that these couples chose to live together before getting married, because if their relationship didn't work out after living together, their marriage probably wouldn't have worked out either. I would have thought living together before marriage would lead to a lower divorce rate; hmm.

I totally agree. You found out the flaws of cohabiting so you just saved yourself time, money, and heartbreak. I like to think I'd be a good spouse, but I've never lived with anyone I was dating so I can't say for sure. I think you should live together for a bit before making a big jump like marriage. Even if it means just an extended stay of a month or so, maybe more. If you can afford to stay that long.

[kteire]

Well, my SO and I have to live together in order to be eligible to get commonlaw spouse visas, so we don't have much of a choice!
But we are completely excited to move in together! I know statistically it shows that people who live together first are more likely to divorce, but I feel confident in our relationship, and I've never been a fan of statistics about divorce haha. I don't get how moving in with someone after marriage would make more sense, I'd want to make sure we work well living together and are still happy cohabiting! And since Loic and I don't want to marry until our late 20s, I don't want to wait another 4-5 years to start spending my life with him under the same roof

[hxcbreakdance]

Personally I am all for living together without being married but my SO is very traditional and so is his family and none of them like the idea of us living together until after we're married so I am doomed to wait until then lol

[JennyRW]

So whats your opinion on this. I read some things that say that this way has a higher divorce rate, or that it less likely leads to marriage. So what do you think? Whats your pro's and con's about living together before marriage?

I read some studies and the statistics said that you have less probabilities to get married than if you don't live together. The divorce rate is exactly the same in both situations. I would prefer no to live together before getting married but if we have to for other reasons I wouldn't mind

[JennyRW]

If living together less likely leads to marriage, maybe it's a good thing that these couples chose to live together before getting married, because if their relationship didn't work out after living together, their marriage probably wouldn't have worked out either. I would have thought living together before marriage would lead to a lower divorce rate ; hmm.

That is wrong because the studies explained that is not that living together didn't work is just they are confortable living together so they stay like that forever without marrige. And some studies say the rate of divorce is exactly the same if you live or not together before marriage, others said that living together before it give a higher divorce rate.

[kteire]

I just read an article and saw this quote, and I liked it!

"I don't think that living together premarriage has any impact, good or bad on the subsequent marriage. If it's going to work, it's going to work, no matter what you do beforehand."

[books]

I think living together gives you a great indication of how your SO will be as a spouse. I lived with my ex for a long time- about 4 years. We eventually broke up (my choice) b/c he was pushing for marriage and I was absolutely terrified at the thought of that, having seen some serious deal breakers during our time as a couple. Yet, we stayed living together for all those years. It definitely complicates things..I know I passed moments with him where I thought "I really want to break up, but then I'll have to move, what a pain...". In super expensive cities like NYC you will see couples that are done with each other but stay living together just to save apartment costs! So, it can put you in a state of comfort where you're not motivated enough to break up and don't want to get married either.

I'm not sure my SO and I will live together before we get married. I'd like for that to happen, but we're international and at this point it seems marrying at the start of closing the distance will be the better option. We'll see what happens.

[kteire]

That is wrong because the studies explained that is not that living together didn't work is just they are confortable living together so they stay like that forever without marrige. And some studies say the rate of divorce is exactly the same if you live or not together before marriage, others said that living together before it give a higher divorce rate.

Is that the end of the world though? Like I'd imagine if both people really wanted to still marry after living together, they'd do it. And maybe in other cases they just found they were happy enough living the way they were without adding the formality of marriage.

[rusty15]

Before my boyfriend moved to California, we lived together for 3 months and it was great! I'm all for ppl living together before marriage.