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Short engagement vs. long engagement?

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    #46
    To me, being engaged would mean we're ready to set a date to get married and start planning. In my situation I'd say the perfect length would be at least a year long, maybe a little bit more.

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      #47
      we were engaged for a month and a half before we made it official because he was deploying. I liked it bc I would be so impatient to have married him if I didn't. Of course the choice is up to you...
      " Love don't run....Love don't hide...Love don't turn away or back down from a fight.
      Baby I'm right here..and I and going anywhere"


      Mitch and Stephanie July 14, 2011

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        #48
        I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately and I also discussed it with my SO. It's true that it depends on the couple and on the situation they're in.
        I for one would prefer to get engaged sooner rather than later. The first reason for that is not only to have enough time to plan the wedding, but also to save enough money. This might not be an issue to some people (here in Europe it is still very much usual that parents give the money for the wedding), but me and my SO would like to get enough money together on our own, to afford our dream wedding and not be a burden to our parents.
        The second reason for why I'd like to get engaged sooner is the legal side. As a fiance I'd become a family member, meaning, in emergency cases, I'd be allowed to get to him if he lands in a hospital or anything similar. As a girlfriend, you don't have many rights in different institutions, and can only hope that the doctor or worker there is nice and understanding.

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          #49
          I would want an engagement of at least a year. also would like to live with that person during that time so that i know before marriage that we will be able to stand living together...
          sigpic
          Not to get clever
          but with you I see forever
          But whatever it is,
          Here's to you,
          I Love You Kid...


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            #50
            With my first marriage, I was engaged for 4 months to the day. The second time, immigration made our choices for us. We had very little say over when anything happened. K1 is approved, you get your butt moving! We were engaged for something like two years, which just flat out wasn't our call.

            I see it as a step up in the relationship, as well as a time to start planning the wedding. But if you want to be engaged for a while before you start planning, I see absolutely no harm in that.

            ETA: Nope I was wrong, we were engaged for about one year. Wow, I fail...
            Last edited by garnet; January 30, 2012, 02:13 AM.

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              #51
              I think when my SO and I get engaged, I would like to be engaged for about a year when we're in a situation that we could afford to start planning a wedding. And then spend a good bit of that year planning wedding stuff, but not too much time haha. I don't want an overly complicated wedding... just maybe one ceremony in Canada or Ireland, and a reception in each country for each of our families and friends.


              Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free

              Met: Cork, Ireland - December 31, 2009 • Started Dating: Cork, Ireland - May 22, 2010 • Became LD: July 15, 2010 • My Move From Canada to UK: October 26, 2011
              Closed the distance June 18, 2012!

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                #52
                I'd prefer a short engagement (less than a year) and for that time to be used to plan the wedding. Of course I wouldn't mind if it didn't work out quite like that but it's what I'd choose if I could

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                  #53
                  I don't know what's considered long and whats considered short lol. But I would say that I want about a year as my engagement. That would be enough time to plan everything and not lose the excitement, I think.

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                    #54
                    I would prefer a short one as well. 8-10 months seems reasonable to me (or so I say now, wait till all the planning goes astray )

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                      #55
                      long/short are very subjective terms

                      I would say over a year will be nice, I believe it is a step up in the relationship and also time to plan the wedding.

                      I'd like enough time to not have to jump into wedding planning straight away and just enjoy our engaged status for a little while.
                      Met Online: February 2009
                      Feelings grew: January 2011
                      First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
                      Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
                      Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
                      Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
                      Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
                      Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
                      Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
                      Engaged: 1st of July 2012
                      Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
                      Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
                      Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
                      Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
                      Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
                      Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

                      Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

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