I think that my SO and I are going to break up if we can't find something to do other than play games and talk about the same stuff over and over again. We've talked about EVERYTHING you can think of, and I literally mean everything. I saw on another thread about scars and how you got them, we've done that too. Politics, religion, government, the universe, EVERYTHING. Playing games is getting old and that's ALL we seem to be able to do. We live in different countries and can't easily see each other and when we do, we still don't really have anything to do or talk about, but when we're together its not nearly as hard. PLEASE help me with some ideas.. ANY ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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Stop forcing it and just chat about your day, maybe? I had my own thread where I was about ready to give up talking to my SO as well. Just stop trying to force the conversation. Even CD couples run out of things to talk about and sit in silence sometimes. I personally find that kind of comforting when my boyfriend and I are together. I see it as we're comfortable enough to not need to force out a conversation.
Try watching some TV shows on hulu maybe? Then talk during or after. Read some random article online and ask what he thinks about it. Ask his opinion on anything. I asked my boyfriend today where I should live on campus next year. Or just chat.
How often do you talk? I know it seems tough to do, but maybe talk half as often for a while so you feel you have more to talk about.". . . We obviously have to come to accept it, but that doesn't stop it from gnawing at us day by day.
The best we can do is enjoy our time together, anticipate our reunions, and remain passionate and loyal through distance." ~Mike <3
~*~11.21.2010~*~ -
My SO and I are the same way, after almost 3 years together we've talked about everything possible and yet we manage to talk to each other perfectly fine throughout the day. Stop trying to force conversation, have you tried role-play? Just chat about you day and cuddle together or you could make scenarios to role-play it could be anything, you could act out your future together or just do something fantasy based.
Do you constantly have to be in avid talk with your SO or can you just sit and read or watch movies together and discuss those. I think you guys will be fine just relax breathe and just let things follow the course they need to.
Notes:
Met: 8.17.09
Started Dating: 8.20.09
First Met: 10.2.10
Closed the Distance: 8.9.14Comment
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How about buying the 1000 Questions for Couples book? Michelle and Frank have written about their own experience using it here. Do you think that's something both of you might find helpful?Comment
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How long do you talk and how often? During the day I write down thoughts, conversations, things I saw.. Just little notes on my phone, and when I call my SO I tell m about that.. We also now call more every other day instead of every day.. And I downloaded the 1000 questions book
\\ Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything //
\\ happens for a reason //
\\ We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing //
\\ When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” //
\\They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, I told them they didn’t understand life!! //Comment
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well me and my SO live on different continents and we haven't seen eachother for almost a year.. we chat barely but still we hold on our relationship as it is important to both of us.. maybe you should think about if you still want him..Comment
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Do you have an account on OKCupid by any chance? I had one from when I was still single, and my SO and I go through their "improve your matches!" questions. Keeps us talking to each other, and we get to learn things about each other at the same time.♥ Erika & Thomas ♥
♥ Est. January 13, 2011 ♥ Became LDR July 1, 2011 ♥ Christmas visit December 24 - 29, 2011 ♥ Closed the distance June 2, 2012 ♥
♪ Cause with you I'd withstand all of it to hold your hand ♫Comment
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I'm sure you have already done this, but talk to your SO about your friends. Talk to your friends about everything, and chances are, one (or more) of your friends will spark something that you want to talk to your SO about (this has happened to me multiple times). Jot down a note so you can remember it later, or send your SO a text/email right then and tell him, "remind me to talk to you about x later" or "ask me about x when we talk tonight" kind of thing. some of the things that have been brought up for me & my SO are things we have already talked about, but a different way to look at them.
i honestly doubt you know everything about your SO, and i doubt he knows everything about you. i bet if you talk to your parents/grandparents/aunts&uncles/friends of the family they will tell you that they are still learning things about their partner. don't give up because you have "nothing" to talk about.
2016 Goal: Buy a house.
Progress: Complete!
2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
Progress: Working on it.Comment
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Me & my SO went through the same thing at one point. We were too caught up on making sure we talked to each other we kind of stop living our own lives. But once we started hanging with friends and family & doing our own thing through out the day it gave us more to talk about...sigpicNot to get cleverbut with you I see foreverBut whatever it is,Here's to you,I Love You Kid...
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