Talks

[Samael17]

Hello,

I'm new here.
Been here a while, just browsing though the forums.
I'd like to ask something. I'm with my SO for almost half a year and the fact that I can't physically touch him or kiss him do sometimes make me feel bad, because I really want to.
I can't see him, since my financial situation isn't the brightest as a college student and he's all the way in the USA while I am stuck in Europe.

Back to the topic though.
I talk with my SO every day at least for an hour, depending on how busy we are.
Few days ago we started talking about what we would want to do if we were to be near each other. Example would be ''I would kiss you gently and slowly.'' and many sweet things like feeling each other near.. I was wondering if these kind of talks can make it harder for us to cope with the distance or that it's ok. It makes us feel amazing, yet I know it just makes me want to be near him more and to actually touch and kiss him. I'm kinda scared that if we continue these talks however sweet they are, we might miss each other so much that we might not be able to take it. :s I don't really know. What are your experiences and what do you think? Do you sometimes have talks like these? (And those are just sweet talks, nothing weird going on. I do enjoy them, but it's sometimes hard to cope with the absence of my loved one. I'm a bit scared how he might take it. :/)

Sorry if this sounds silly.

[dragonlady]

it isn't silly! we do it all the time too for him it really helps coping with the distance even because we can't have "sexy" time when we would like to.
for the rest the general tips are in use here , keep busy!
for the moment i miss him the most and he isn't online i have my scrap book with pic's of him (and there will be pic of us toghether once we met) and sweet poems/notes and pic's he send me also a piece of clothing with his scent helps and i got a pendant of his that i keep close.

and talk with him about those feelings! we talk about every worrie , scare and everything we have beeing really open to each other also because english isn't my birth langeau (yeah its wrong written still learning!) and there could be thing he didnt meant but that i get wrong

good luck! and never be ashamed to ask stuff! there are no wrong quistions only wrong answers

[Catface]

Not talking about it will only pent up those feelings and create an issue in the relationship. Tell him you love doing it, but maybe to do it in moderation? You wouldn't want it to get old right My SO and I don't really do a play by play so much as write out a story of the sexy/romantic scene we would like to play out. Maybe you can change it up a bit. Or instead you could pick a topic to talk about that makes you feel intellectually close instead of focusing on the physical.

Remember, be honest! He can't know if you don't tell him. I've tried to keep quiet about things, but I'm terrible at hiding my emotions. In the end he ends up noticing my sadness/anger/irritation and it sometimes causes problems which would have been easier to just be up front. Pick a time to tell him when you aren't feeling emotional over it so you can talk it over well.

Good luck!

[chizatlauren]

(And those are just sweet talks, nothing weird going on. I do enjoy them, but it's sometimes hard to cope with the absence of my loved one. I'm a bit scared how he might take it. :/)

Sorry if this sounds silly.

Number 1: Welcome to LFAD! Hope you enjoy being in this community of wonderful people!

Number 2: LOL there's nothing silly about that. I think my SO is sillier because he says all that mushy things "I want to cuddle with you and hug you" then turn it instantly into a conversation that should be in the LFADults section. We ALWAYS have talks like that, and yes, it just makes us miss each other more, ans we feel the same ways as you.

Number 3: You'll be able to take it! Don't worry. Missing each other is a good thing, but sometimes it can engulf us too much. What I can say is that, turn the "I miss you" feelings into something positive, like planning your trip to see each other and talking about the upcoming things that will happen once you get together again.

Hope your relationship get sweeter!

[Samael17]

Thank you for the replies and for welcoming.

to dragonlady,
Yes, I know. Keeping my mind busy is what I'm trying to do. Learnt that the first month.
I think the start was the hardest since I couldn't get my mind of him. Was just constantly thinking of him and couldn't really focus on school. But that's better now. Guess it's a normal phase of a relationship.. Can't really tell, since this is my first one. The harder for me since my first one is an LDR.
Oh and don't worry, I am open about my feelings. Wonder if not way too much sometimes, since I talk a lot. But we talk about everything that we enjoy, that worries us or just simply every memory we want to share. Besides I trust him enough to tell him everything and that's mainly what I love about the relationship itself. The honesty and the trust.


to catface,
First of all, I love your nickname.
Yes, I know what you mean. There are times I just don't feel like talking about something, but he can tell something's wrong. He knows me too well.

Thanks.

Just don't want to mess this relationship up, since he's really my everything. :3

[Zukafu]

I always love when my boyfriend shares the things he'd like to do.
Often it makes me miss him very much, but it helps me cope as well. Knowing that he's most definatly worth all this wait.