Hello to the community !
I would never thought I would be one of those persons in en LDR; but what else to do when we deeply feel we have met somebody worth it
? One of my biggest fears with LDR was the mental idealized construction we could have about the person living far away, when we don't know him-her so well (I guess this is the case for most people here
).
It is so common and tempting to project amazing things about the partner and the relationship, but when the time to really be together comes, people could realize most of it was a construction of the mind with the negative emotions going along it (disappointment, sadness, bitterness, feeling of having wasting time and energy,...). With Julia, my girlfriend, we have always wanted to avoid it so much !
We decided to try the LDR but we decided to have some rules to do it well so we minimize the risks of falling in the common traps.
One of the way we found out is the create that game (that we both cherish) that we call “the question of the day”. We use whatsapp and the idea is to find a question that would trigger a great conversation so we get to know each other adressing important things with fun, reflexion, sharing about our past, our present, our future, our functionning, our expectations, our life experiences, our needs, our values,...every single day with the same passion !
We have almost never had those “What did do you do today ?” “How are you doing” conversations. We try to be as authentic, honest, true to ourselves possible when we respond. (One of the rule is to avoid to say” and you ?" when we answer to any question”. It is up for the one who answers to ask another question if he/she wants.) It is so amazing when we meet to see how aligned we are with what we have shared. It bring so much trust and willingness to do more for the LDR, for us.
We like and believe so much into that unique daily ritual we created that we decided to share it through an application. So we have gathered a long list of meaningful/playful questions that could be great triggers for conversations : the goal is not really to respond to the question but to have a great conversation and we have tried to gamify it as much as possible to make it not only uselful (to know the partner and have the right conversations that could be priceless and could change the course of the relationship!).
We know the best way to make a product that would bring a lot of value to the community is to make sure it respond to the needs of the community. It would be amazing to build it (with our graphic designer, the programmer and us) with members of that LDR community.
Do some of you would like to take part to that process and share with us their opinion as a potential user ?
Some of the advantages :
-You take part to the building up of an app. Exciting, no ?
-You get a lot of questions and material for your own couple (we could go on with pages on the benefit with perceive and how healthy it could be)
-You help a LDR couple who are primarily driven by the willingness to bring a useful way to have a healthy LDR
-...it could be a lot of fun and be very rewarding !
Talk to you soon,
Simon (Belgian living in Montreal)
Julia (Mexicain living in Chiapas)
some of the benefits we perceive strongly with the app :
-Creating a deeper and better connection with your partner, you will be in his head...
-Identifying more easily if the partner could be a good match on the long run
-Understanding better your partner and use the knowledge to improve the relationship
-Finding new passions or interests to share with your partner
-Sharing a pleasant moment, having fun
-Giving material to your partner to understand him/herself better
I would never thought I would be one of those persons in en LDR; but what else to do when we deeply feel we have met somebody worth it
? One of my biggest fears with LDR was the mental idealized construction we could have about the person living far away, when we don't know him-her so well (I guess this is the case for most people here).It is so common and tempting to project amazing things about the partner and the relationship, but when the time to really be together comes, people could realize most of it was a construction of the mind with the negative emotions going along it (disappointment, sadness, bitterness, feeling of having wasting time and energy,...). With Julia, my girlfriend, we have always wanted to avoid it so much !
We decided to try the LDR but we decided to have some rules to do it well so we minimize the risks of falling in the common traps.
One of the way we found out is the create that game (that we both cherish) that we call “the question of the day”. We use whatsapp and the idea is to find a question that would trigger a great conversation so we get to know each other adressing important things with fun, reflexion, sharing about our past, our present, our future, our functionning, our expectations, our life experiences, our needs, our values,...every single day with the same passion !
We have almost never had those “What did do you do today ?” “How are you doing” conversations. We try to be as authentic, honest, true to ourselves possible when we respond. (One of the rule is to avoid to say” and you ?" when we answer to any question”. It is up for the one who answers to ask another question if he/she wants.) It is so amazing when we meet to see how aligned we are with what we have shared. It bring so much trust and willingness to do more for the LDR, for us.
We like and believe so much into that unique daily ritual we created that we decided to share it through an application. So we have gathered a long list of meaningful/playful questions that could be great triggers for conversations : the goal is not really to respond to the question but to have a great conversation and we have tried to gamify it as much as possible to make it not only uselful (to know the partner and have the right conversations that could be priceless and could change the course of the relationship!).
We know the best way to make a product that would bring a lot of value to the community is to make sure it respond to the needs of the community. It would be amazing to build it (with our graphic designer, the programmer and us) with members of that LDR community.
Do some of you would like to take part to that process and share with us their opinion as a potential user ?
Some of the advantages :
-You take part to the building up of an app. Exciting, no
?-You get a lot of questions and material for your own couple (we could go on with pages on the benefit with perceive and how healthy it could be)
-You help a LDR couple who are primarily driven by the willingness to bring a useful way to have a healthy LDR
-...it could be a lot of fun and be very rewarding !
Talk to you soon,
Simon (Belgian living in Montreal)
Julia (Mexicain living in Chiapas)
some of the benefits we perceive strongly with the app :
-Creating a deeper and better connection with your partner, you will be in his head...
-Identifying more easily if the partner could be a good match on the long run
-Understanding better your partner and use the knowledge to improve the relationship
-Finding new passions or interests to share with your partner
-Sharing a pleasant moment, having fun
-Giving material to your partner to understand him/herself better
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