Is spending less than one and a half days worth it to travel 16 hours?

[ldrxoxo]

We're waiting for a time to meet for more than a weekend. We live close enough [yet far when we don't have the schedule & budget right now] to see each other (8 to 9 hours one way) every other weekend but that would cost a lot of gas money and both of us might be tired just from the tons of traveling to really want to hang and we might leave a bad first impression if we were to just hang out for less than a day and a half.

We also didn't want to make it seem like it's a one night stand having to leave the next day, too, to properly get to know each other in person and I don't want this traveling and such to affect his college studies so I'm patiently not-so-patiently trying to wait 'til summer to where he just has work and a lighter schedule to hang out.

I'm curious if you would wait to spend a longer amount of time to hang out or just go for the literally less than one day and say screw it to travel 16 hours total?

[XxFranticLovexX]

Any time is better than no time and it wouldn't seem like a one night stand if you don't have sex. Just visit when you can and don't put any unneeded pressure on the situation. If something sexual happens, then it happens. It shouldn't feel like a one night stand if you don't view the relationship as such.

Honestly, I would look at our schedules then see where it lines up for us to be able to spend the most time together within an acceptable time frame. Waiting an extra couple weeks to a month is worth it if it gives you a couple more days for a visit.

[Anoulie]

For me, it'd be too much, to be honest with you. Not just the time to travel there, but the gas money! Wow!

Have you guys met before? Because if you haven't I'd definitely make sure to spend > 2 days together. Can't you guys take a Monday and/or Friday off work or he can skip a few classes?

[TaraMarie]

Meet I the middle. Go Friday night and come home Sunday night. That's doable!

[TaraMarie]

I drove 6 hours just to spend the night with him. And flew there just to spend the night. It was worth it!

[ldrxoxo]

Different responses so far, and I appreciate your inputs! We haven't met yet and are looking for a good time to. Just been talking on video chat and texts for the past few months.

I'm trying to avoid skipping anything because I do want him to do well and not get into trouble with attendance for anything. If I had a car, I would totally be the one to drive down to see him for one night even on Friday. One of the reasons I also don't take a bus is because I would have to leave at a certain time and not be able to leave whenever I want to.

That is true that we don't have to do anything sexual on the first day we meet to not make it a one-night stand, but I don't know how much longer I can hold back because I've been waiting for 3+ years for a male contact who cares about me, lol. I haven't been with a man in such a long time that I forgot what it feels like anymore, haha, and this includes years before I started the long distance thing. I know there are some people who are interested in me in my town for that, but I'm waiting for someone who wants me as more than just a quick lay and haven't given in.

[nottheprincesspeach]

My SO will be that far away in less than a week. All of the planned visits at least 4 days, generally a week or more. I only have that though, because I have to do the driving. I have a knee condition that puts me in a knee brace after driving it for a day. Anyway, it would be worth it to meet him for the first time. Finding out what kind of in person chemistry you have is important.

[differentcountries]

Oh, I would travel around the world just too se my SO for one day. Definetely go and see him!

[ldrxoxo]

Oh, I would travel around the world just too se my SO for one day. Definetely go and see him!

Once I get a car and gas money I'm definitely on my way . I haven't had a car in 2+ years. It broke down on November 28, 2012, ironically on my way to the only wedding reception I've ever been invited to by past friends. At least I got to see my friend get married at the altar, lol, but I wanted the food and to catch up with friends I only see once every ten years. I wish it broke down any other day than that. It was not able to be fixed.

I can't wait for the day we meet.

[Hollandia]

How long have you been together again? I am confused about the being so tired from travel and/or cost of gas money thing. I knew my SO for 6 months. Then one day I booked a flight for a grand and 8 hours in air and 10 in layover until he picked me up at the airport. I was beyond beat and terrified from my first time flying alone but it was worth it.

That was the first time, now we are planning babies and marriage and closing the distance. For me, it was worth it. For you, well, you have to decide if you are willing to put out the cash and how much you are willing feel uncomfortable for this person you think you care about.

[ldrxoxo]

How long have you been together again? I am confused about the being so tired from travel and/or cost of gas money thing. I knew my SO for 6 months. Then one day I booked a flight for a grand and 8 hours in air and 10 in layover until he picked me up at the airport. I was beyond beat and terrified from my first time flying alone but it was worth it.

That was the first time, now we are planning babies and marriage and closing the distance. For me, it was worth it. For you, well, you have to decide if you are willing to put out the cash and how much you are willing feel uncomfortable for this person you think you care about.

We have been talking for three+ months now and I'm unsure of whether to meet now or later or whether this is too soon to meet yet or to wait another year and still talk for the time being. I'd have to save up first before I could do any traveling.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

We have been talking for three+ months now and I'm unsure of whether to meet now or later or whether this is too soon to meet yet or to wait another year and still talk for the time being. I'd have to save up first before I could do any traveling.

Why the rush? Don't put so much pressure on yourself, him, or the relationship. Wait until both of you have the time and resources to be able to enjoy it. Save up for a car. Put some money aside for travel expenses. Wait until both of you have some vacation time, more than a day or two, more like a week or two. Meanwhile, get to know each other better. An LDR is a good way to get to know someone, and a good foundation for the future.

[snow]

I second the idea of meeting half-way. You could share the expenses of a hotel!

You should also consider public transport - yes it is inconvenient, because you have to leave on time, but it is much cheaper in most cases than driving up with your own car and pay gas money. See if there is a train you could take or a bus. I was willing to fly to New York and take the train to Hartford, because the flight was $200 cheaper than to fly directly to Hartford - I didn't have to do it because the prizes dropped the day I booked the flight, but I would have done it in a heartbeat.

So to come back to your initial question: I would probably not do it, especially if I didn't have the money and if I wanted to I would wait for a long weekend or some kind of holidays that would allow to spend more time together, but that's just me. I wanted to fly down to see my fiancé once more before the visa for my easter holidays, but I just can't pay $1200 for 10 days.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

We're waiting for a time to meet for more than a weekend. We live close enough [yet far when we don't have the schedule & budget right now] to see each other (8 to 9 hours one way) every other weekend but that would cost a lot of gas money and both of us might be tired just from the tons of traveling to really want to hang and we might leave a bad first impression if we were to just hang out for less than a day and a half.

We also didn't want to make it seem like it's a one night stand having to leave the next day, too, to properly get to know each other in person and I don't want this traveling and such to affect his college studies so I'm patiently not-so-patiently trying to wait 'til summer to where he just has work and a lighter schedule to hang out.

I'm curious if you would wait to spend a longer amount of time to hang out or just go for the literally less than one day and say screw it to travel 16 hours total?

Wait a minute. IF you are really invested in a LDR with this guy, and he feels the same, how can you consider the idea of a one night stand? How would even a night with him be a one-night stand, if you are really in love with each other? It kind of sounds like you aren't really committed to each other enough to call this a relationship. I think you need more time. Don't rush things. Take it slow and get to know each other better.

[squeeker]

Why the rush? Don't put so much pressure on yourself, him, or the relationship. Wait until both of you have the time and resources to be able to enjoy it. Save up for a car. Put some money aside for travel expenses. Wait until both of you have some vacation time, more than a day or two, more like a week or two. Meanwhile, get to know each other better. An LDR is a good way to get to know someone, and a good foundation for the future.

Well said! My advice would be to wait for the summer when you have the lighter schedules. I think a first visit can be kind of overwhelming, seeing the person in 3-D for the first time, and then having to leave right away before you get to even hang out!!! It would be nicer to at least have a few days to a week for your first visit, in my opinion. I agree with AussieAmericanGirl also on the fact that you can take this time to get to know each other even better, there is always more to learn, even after 3+ years!!

Maybe it's my international LDR mindset speaking, but I think that 1 day is just too quick of a first meeting, especially with 16 hours of travel so quickly. I think it might make a first visit a bit stressful and harder. Though if that's your only option is one day here and there, do it and enjoy the minutes you have. But if you have the option to save up the money for a longer visit in the summer, my vote is on that one. But at the end of the day, it's your choice! And maybe you wouldn't mind that. And definitely don't think of it as a one night stand even if you do decide to be intimate with him. If you are in a relationship and are planning visits in the future and closing the distance one day, it would not be a one night stand. And it's never goodbye, always see you later. Anyways good luck whenever you get that first meeting and I hope it goes smoothly and wonderful!