Suggestions for first time traveller?

[I_Matt]

Okay, I've been considering this for a few weeks now and I decided to make a surpsise trip to visit my SO. The trip would be pretty short (only a weekend) since I would be going there to celebrate her birthday and then going back, so I'm unsure whether I should go by plane or car (I still have to get my driver's license, but well, it's a few months to the trip, so it's okay)

The plane is much quickier, and I should be leaving on afternoon and getting there at night, while by car I would have to drive a few good hours until I manage to get there. In counterpart, the plane ride is much more expensive (about 2-3 times the car trip) - being the preferred method by now, I'm already saving for it :P

I would like to know if you guys/girls could give some advice for the first meeting, some ideas of what to do together and how to plan the trip until there - if there's anything special I should take care of or something like that...

Thanks alot!
( a little OOT: I'm loving this community! You guys/girls are awesome! )

[Noodle]

I was actually in the same boat as far as deciding rather to fly/drive to see my SO in August since I only had 4 days to do it. I really wanted to drive due to it being so much cheaper (and I've never flown before so there is that worried). But the plane is going to end up winning this time around.

But I'm seeing your SO is 7 hours away? I used to go to college that was 8+ hours away and we used to do weekend trips home all the time. It honestly not that bad of a drive. Especially if you have the option to leave in the morning, you'll get there by earlier afternoon and still have a whole day to spend with her. So if I was in your situation, I would definitely choose driving.

[Unconditional]

I would google driving vs. Flying calculators. There was a really good one I used, but I can't remember what it was called.

[I_Matt]

I was actually in the same boat as far as deciding rather to fly/drive to see my SO in August since I only had 4 days to do it. I really wanted to drive due to it being so much cheaper (and I've never flown before so there is that worried). But the plane is going to end up winning this time around.

But I'm seeing your SO is 7 hours away? I used to go to college that was 8+ hours away and we used to do weekend trips home all the time. It honestly not that bad of a drive. Especially if you have the option to leave in the morning, you'll get there by earlier afternoon and still have a whole day to spend with her. So if I was in your situation, I would definitely choose driving.

Yeah my biggest worry isn't the plane, but the driving part. In the best case scenario, i'd be leaving work and going directly there, only to reache her city at 9pm or so. This in a best scenario, plus I would have to be back by monday morning too.

If I was in vacations then I would get by car eland stay a few daya there, but since I wouldn't, then every hour counts...

I would google driving vs. Flying calculators. There was a really good one I used, but I can't remember what it was called.

I'm a bit used to car trip costs, me and my parents used to do it all the time... But if you find one, it would be great!

[snow]

I really don't think you should surprise your SO with a visit for the first time you meet in person. This is something that needs to be planned and that needs to be discussed. I wanted to surprise my man with a visit too, but you never know how a person is going to react to something like that, especially if it is her birthday.
She could be busy, she could not have time to hang out with you at all and for the first visit, you want to make sure that you both get the most time to get to experience each other in every way possible. So I really want you to rethink this idea. Maybe even ask her, what she would do if you stood right outside her door tomorrow, to get a feeling of how she likes surprises.

It is very difficult to plan for anything if it is a surprise visit. There is no way to tell if anything you want to do, can be done unless you are 100% sure she is going to be free and will have time (and money!) to do things. I guess you could find out what places you two could go to that are interesting to both of you, check out the prices, if there is any. Make sure you have a place to stay and you know how to get from there to your SO's house and back.

I suggest you move a surprise visit for another time after the first visit.

[Noodle]

I suggest you move a surprise visit for another time after the first visit.

Oh my goodness, I didn't even make the connection that this was a first visit. I need more sleep. Then yes, snow is absolutely right that it is not a good idea to surprise her. x.x

[Hollandia]

You need to take into account all the tolls and gas and how much time it would cost you to drive. If driving is the best option, could you ask your boss to leave work a few hours early and make it up when you get back? I would also say that a surprise visit is a bad idea for first meeting especially around her birithday when she might very well have made plans that you cannot join in on, like sold out tickets to some show or event. She could have been planning to see her family and for me and my SO, I did not meet his family on the first visit. It is better to see how well that visit goes before being thrown into too much too fast. I would call her and see if she wants you to come and if not if might give you a few weeks to save up to do the flight and have some more extra spending cash for while there. Some other things to consider about flying versus driving is luggage. You have no restrictions about what you can and cannot bring in your car (unless it's illegal) but a plane is far more restrictive. This and long security lines could make your "shorter" time not as short as you might hope. I went to Boston from Philly once and the air travel time was 35 minutes but between the time in the airport before and after , the trip took 4 hours.

The best things that we did on my first visit was to have him play my personal tour guide, added in with personal information about each place and taking me to his favorite cafes and parks and it just made it the most special time ever. Pretend like it is one long first date, we did, and it was like a fairytale.

[Moon]

Snow and Hol are right, surprise visits seem like a romantic, sweet idea, but they could end up being awful if she happens to have plans she can't break, or doesn't like surprises. If you're determined to do it anyway, make sure someone knows you're coming, like her mom or her best friend, that's kind of important.

Also, I think you should fly. As someone who doesn't even have his license yet, that's a lot of driving for someone with so little experience. If you're crossing a few state lines, they may have subtle changes in signs or road patterns that you won't know what to do with, and frankly, you just won't be very good at driving yet You should get a little experience in all driving conditions first, before attempting such a long ride. Good luck.

[TwoThree]

I first read the thread title as " Suggestions for a time traveler" and I was mightily impressed

Sorry, OP. I don't really have suggestions, but what the ladies said about not surprising her for a first meeting is excellent advice. You should heed it.

[whatruckus]

Yea, I agree with everyone else. If this is a first visit, definitely don't do it. We're not trying to be Debbie Downers, but we also don't want you to get there, only to have wasted your time and money because she doesn't receive the surprise very well, or she already has plans.

I also really agree with Moon. This isn't the type of a trip someone who would just be getting their license should do. It's too long of a drive, and you won't be used to it. It's different when you're driving around town here and there, but an 8 hour trip for a newly licensed driver? No. That's dangerous. Hell, I've had my license for just about 9 years, and I still get burned out even after like 3 - 4 hours. Driving takes a huge toll on your body, though most don't think it does. You have to constantly be aware of your surroundings, while concentrating on operating the vehicle. I drove 3 1/2 hours to my boyfriend's corrections officer academy graduation, missed the whole damn thing, and then drove right back to his house, following him, for another 3 1/2 hours. I drove 7 hours in one day, and when we got back, I was exhausted and had the biggest migraine ever. Not to mention the 2+ hours I drove to get to his house the night before (stupid traffic).

Speaking of traffic, you'd have to account for the traffic times as well. Especially since you'd be leaving right after work, you'll definitely hit rush hour traffic if you said you'd get to her house by 9pm. I don't know what area you'd be driving to, or I'd be able to tell you what kind of traffic to expect (I'm most familiar with Northeast traffic, because well...this is where I live).

Is a train an option? Or bus? Those would be better options. Travelling by train might be the same expense as driving. I know bus would definitely be cheaper. Also, less restrictions than travelling by plane, if you do decide to go through with this.

[I_Matt]

After reading everyone's suggestions here I decided to fly there, but plan if first (well, as I said, there are still a few months to go, so we have time to plan it). A bus would be a preferred option, but there are simply no routes from here where I live to where SO lives and trains are only used for cargo (the last time I know there used to be a passenger train was more than a decade ago).

Thanks everybody!

[Hollandia]

After reading everyone's suggestions here I decided to fly there, but plan if first (well, as I said, there are still a few months to go, so we have time to plan it). A bus would be a preferred option, but there are simply no routes from here where I live to where SO lives and trains are only used for cargo (the last time I know there used to be a passenger train was more than a decade ago).

Thanks everybody!

I don't know if you have flown before, but if not here's some tips for you or anyone else that has not flown before.

Airlines have been changing a bit over the last few years again. They now charge you for checked bags and some for hand luggage. Also your laptop counts as a "personal" item so when they say you are allowed one hand bag and one personal item , it means one bag and your laptop.Check out the airlines in advance. That checked bag fee can vary greatly. Some do allow one but most charge for it and the fee can anywhere from 35 dollars for first bag to 100 plus and that is not counting a second bag. When they say they start boarding a half hour before take off they are not kidding, I almost missed a flight connection once when my first plane was delayed and I could not get to gate until actual 15 minutes before take-off. Rule of thumb be at your gate at least 35-40 minutes before take off and keep an eye on the boards in case they change your flight time up or back. If it's a long flight pack a snack in your cabin bag and bring a long something to read. Many airlines charge for those snacks and entertainment these days. I use Kayak.com whenever searching for air, it lets me find best price quickly then I go to each site and find out how much their little fees add up to to find best overall deal. Checking in online saves time and sometimes money, avoid the porter's help and you don't have to tip them. Don't wear anything with too much metal on it for security lines and keep stuff out of your pockets. Any fluids have to be 1 oz or less and fit into one 3 oz baggie. Show them to security and place in the bucket, remove your laptop from it's case and place in bucket. Wear shoes that slip off easy and shoes if you don't want to walk on the bare floor. If you get chilly then bring a light sweater to use as a blanket or pillow on plane. Don't argue or get snarky with the TSA they have the power and can keep your off your flight. If they say you can't take something on a plane then if you want a huge delay give it to them. If you have questions in advance call them and ask. Smile and be polite but make sure you get on plane as quickly as you can people will push sometimes, since the overheads are getting smaller and people will take the place above your seat and you will end up with your stuff far away or having to be put under the plane. This is especially important if you have a connection that is tight and can costs you a lot of time. Your a guy so no purse but watch your valuables. A girl should keep a hand on her purse at all times. Keep a close eye on your ID, ticket and Money. Don't take anything from any strangers in the airports, even a small child. Take your bags with you everywhere including the bathroom, never leave your bags alone. Airports are set up really well, so just follow the signs to locate your gate after security and you should be on your way in no time.


I fly about 5-6 times a year so if you want any help with booking your itinerary, feel free to PM me.