Splitting Travel Expenses

[PaperbackWriter]

Though my relationship is not currently an LDR, it will be, starting in the summer. I like to be prepared, so I'm thinking about this now.

When one partner is usually the traveling partner, and the other is the "gets traveled to" partner, should the "gets traveled to" partner share in the expense of plane/train/etc tickets?

My SO currently lives at home with his parents and 17 year old sister (he is 21). They have NO furniture in the house (honestly. The only places to sit are at the kitchen table and on the beds). If I were to fly back to Florida to visit him, we would have to get a hotel room for the duration of my visit, as they would not let me sleep in the house.

If SO flies up to Ohio to visit me, we will have a guest room, and my parents won't care if he sleeps in my room with me. Thus- no hotel expenses.

If 90% of the trips are him coming to me, should I help him pay for part of his plane tickets? I don't mind doing it, I just wanted to see what all of you thought.

[mllebamako]

I think if you can afford it then yes, I would help him pay for part of the plane tickets. It definitely makes more sense for him to come to you b/c of the whole sleeping situation. So yeah, I would...

[squiddie]

I would definitely say yes to that. If he agrees to it, then sure. But make sure it's a split that both of you can handle well. Your family may get resentful having to pay for 50-60% of a plane ticket every few months.

While a set schedule of visits is a nice idea, know that life gets in the way sometimes. So if you're planning for him to visit say, every 3 months...that may not always happen, between money and things happening last minute. Just something to keep in mind.

[PaperbackWriter]

Oh, don't worry, my family won't be paying for anything. It will be my money. Although, my dad likes him enough that he wouldn't mind paying himself, lol.

[Bluestars]

I think it depends on how much money you each have. My SO has graduated from college and has a job, while I am a full-student who does not work (because I have scholarships that pay for everything). Obviously, my SO has a lot more money than me--he makes in a month what I have to spend in six months. In the past, he has paid for entire plane tickets many times because I cannot afford it. His dad has also bought several of our plane tickets. On the other hand, we have discussed splitting plane tickets, and we have done that multiple times when I work during the holidays. In fact, I basically paid for 3/4 of our next ticket. Sometimes, we also take turns paying every other ticket.

So I agree that you should help out when you can. You guys should definitely talk this out with one another and come to an agreement like we have. Personally, we discuss each trip separately since our situations change quite often.

But yeah. Just remember that him flying to see you is for both of you, not just him, so keep that in mind. I do not think it would be fair for him to have to pay everything.

[Silviar]

How you guys choose to handle your money, I think, is a personal choice that only you and your SO can make based on where you're at in your relationship, and where you're both at financially.

If you want to know how I would handle myself in your situation, I would help pay for the ticket since I feel travel costs should be split somewhat evenly if financially possible. It would end up being much cheaper in the long run than us taking turns visiting and myself footing the hotel/travel costs as opposed to his just travel costs. And I care a lot about the bottom line as I'm trying to close the distance and scrape money where I can. But that's me.

[Riyko]

Every time I would come fly up to visit my ex (boyfriend at the time), he would pay half of my ticket and even now that we aren't together he still pays for half of my ticket when I fly up here.

I think if one comes and visits the other, the other one should at least help pay some of the expenses.

[Yorkshire Girl]

Relationships involve give and take. My SO pays for his flight over here and I pay for my flight when I visit him during the time he is away.

[London-FortCollins]

Totally depends on your situation. I make a fair amount more than my so and have less expenses. I visit him and am happy to pay travel costs. But then I also am living with him for 3 months at a time!

When he comes here I'll probably help pay too, this is where we are at the moment. We see ourselves being long term, it's give and take and in the future our financial situation could easily be reversed.

[paulawriteslove]

When my SO flys up here he pays for his ticket. He won't let me pay for anything, that's how he is. I haven't flown down there yet (I drove last time) But when I do fly down there I want to pay for my ticket

[kasia516]

so far for 3 trips we've paid for our own tickets. since we're international, once he flies here I pay for everything like travel and dinner and shopping (so he doesn't have to exchange much money and doesnt get charged extra on his Visa for exchanging currency and stuff). its funny when we go out to eat and they always give him the bill but im the one paying

[London-FortCollins]

its funny when we go out to eat and they always give him the bill but im the one paying

Ah good ol' fashioned sexism!

[lucybelle]

Just like above, my SO and I have done the same. When I went to see him, he paid for everything else. And now he's coming to see me, and I'll pay for everything else. (Though I would prefer to cover the costs in Costa Rica since everything is cheaper for me!! 2$ dinners... I mean come on! )

[PaperbackWriter]

Hehe, I wouldn't mind $2 dinners, lol. I was planning on paying for most of his tickets to come to me anyway, since he DOES have to pay rent/buy food/etc, and I won't have to, but I wanted to see what the professionals thought

[amandamayaaa]

my SO and i do this
it usually costs around $400 for us to fly to see each other
so i'll pay 200 and he pays 200.. it helps out a lot! i would highly recommend it