Visting her after 5 years. Advice/tips + help?

[illfated]

Hey, guys. My name is James. You may not know me but I signed up on this website a while back. I saw a community where LDR couples and people came together and formed a home. So, I signed up. Unfortunately, that's all I did. Sign up. But I want to get active in this community so here's what my first post will be.

Me and My girlfriend have been together for 5 years but, the thing is, we have never had our first visit. Yeah. I know. When we started going out, her about to start High School and I a sophomore, we both didn't think it would last. We had bright eyes and full hearts but were clueless and oblivious to the journey we set out on. Well, now that I have a job with a decent income for my age, 21, I figured I would visit her. Thing is, I am clueless. The Cost? Average expense from flying from Texas to California? How long is a reasonable first stay? Hotel cost? Overall cost? (Movies, dinners, possibly Disney trip?)

To answer questions, We skype everyday and have been since after a few months in our relationship. We enjoy being alone together. Some nights, we even sleep on Skype together. I do buy her gifts since I've acquired the job but they are that, gifts. I want to give her myself. There is a back story as to why I have not visited her yet but I feel like that is a discussion for another time and I just want to set foot on moving forward into our next chapter as it has been put off for far too long.

Any advice and tips would be much, much appreciated! Feel free to ask questions and I will answer them to the best of my ability!

[CynicalQuixotic]

You seriously want the board to budget your visit for you? Dude, there is a wonderful invention called Google. Type things in it, and it will give you information.

[Ahava]

Wow! After 5 years, I bet the both of you can't wait to see each other!
Have you discussed any of this with her?
I am sure she would have some input on how long the visit should be and on what things she wants to do.
As you have known each other for so long I don't think there should be much awkwardess after the first shyness etc.
Are you thinking of making a holiday of it or just a quick first visit?
Maybe a week would be a good time? All depends on where you will be staying, does she still live with her parents etc.
Will you be sharing the costs of things you do or will you yourself be paying for all/most of it?

I'm sure you can get a lot of input on the actual cost of things from the internet and other US LFAD members.

Good luck, it sounds amazing! First visits are precious

[Moon]

For flights, use something like Kayak to figure out around what a flight will cost you. Talk with her and figure out what you want to do while there, Google things, figure out what those things cost. Use something like hotels.com or priceline to figure out your hotel costs. Figure out how much you can afford to spend, what you want to do, food, lodging, etc. then you'll know how long you can afford to stay. None of us, nobody here, can tell you how much or how long, you've gotta figure that out yourself. Get a notepad and pen, and start working it out, realize though that flight prices change daily, so you need to approximate your charges.

Don't budget down to the penny, you'll need at least a few hundred dollars at your disposal, in case of emergency. If you can, stay at least a week.

[BlueCat]

You seriously want the board to budget your visit for you? Dude, there is a wonderful invention called Google. Type things in it, and it will give you information.

That's a bit harsh. His first post, just looking for a bit of advice and you say that. Sorry, but I found it very rude.

I agree with pretty much everything Moon said, your best best is simply to start experimenting with flights prices and dates, the same with hotels, which will give you a bit of an idea at how much those sorts of things are going to cost you. The length of your stay is really dependent on what you and your SO are comfortable with. Some people have first visits that are only a weekend or a week, because my SO and I are international, our first visit was 2.5 months. Given that it's essentially a holiday, and you tend to do more stuff and eat out more, you probably want enough saved for at least $100 spending money a day for food, transport, going to movies etc etc. Always save up more than you think you'll need so you don't get caught out

[snow]

A piece of advice I can give you from personal experience is to visit for at least a week if you can, and to not plan every minute of the visit!
You haven't seen each other for 5 years and trust me, seeing each other for the first time, you will want to spend all of your time together without being disturbed by anyone! Make plans, but make them so you can always skip something, if you feel like just sitting at home and chilling, cuddling, etc. Especially if the first visit is only for a couple days!
We made the mistake and planned every day of my 11 day visit to spend with some kind of family member or friend, which cut our alone time to the early mornings and nights, which was nice, but not enough for a first visit. Learn from our mistake!!

Other than that - I don't really know how much a flight within the US is, but you can google it easily by finding out what airport is the closest to you two and then simply use the 3 letter code for both! Another piece of advice I can give you is to delete your cookies before you actually book your ticket, as plane tickets get more expensive the more you visit a specific website!
Before I booked my ticket, I checked this myth and it is true. It wasn't much, about 100$, but that was 100$ I saved!

I have absolutely no idea how much hotel costs are as I stayed with my man for every visit. We figured we could save us a lot of money and we didn't want to spend our nights alone while I was in America. It didn't make sense to be apart while being in the same town, we are apart when I am not there :P But this is up to you two and of course it depends on your SO, if she has an apartment to herself that you could stay at!

Good luck

[CanadianGirl]

If she's in California and can drive to the airport to pick you up, there's a good chance you have several airports to choose from and some are cheaper for certain routes at certain times of the year. The only way to know is to check often. Also, some discount airlines don't show up on those flight search sites and you can only buy though their own site, like SouthWest. Sometimes you'll find that buying directly from an airline is cheapest, but sometimes it's not true. You might get lucky using Groupon to find a cheap hotel deal and I use it to give me ideas for fun, affordable things to do (and again, sometimes buying directly through the business is actually cheaper than Groupon). If she's in college right now, there might be some good student discounts on local activities through her school.

[illfated]

I will be paying for all of it. The main problem here is my job usually won't let me take more than 3 days or so off at a time because of my position and how short staffed we are. I would love to spend a week or so down there but, like I said, I'm clueless.

- Yes we have discussed it, but she is just as clueless as I am. Ha.
- She still lives with her parents
- She does not drive
- The closest, cheapest, airport is 2 hours away from where she lives.

I figured I might have to rent a ride? Car? The main deal here, which is very important to me, is that I want to show her parents that I am very capable of taking care of myself. I want to show them I am able to take care of their daughter, so to speak. Lol.

Thank you guys for the advice!

[CynicalQuixotic]

That's a bit harsh. His first post, just looking for a bit of advice and you say that. Sorry, but I found it very rude.

I agree with pretty much everything Moon said, your best best is simply to start experimenting with flights prices and dates, the same with hotels, which will give you a bit of an idea at how much those sorts of things are going to cost you. The length of your stay is really dependent on what you and your SO are comfortable with. Some people have first visits that are only a weekend or a week, because my SO and I are international, our first visit was 2.5 months. Given that it's essentially a holiday, and you tend to do more stuff and eat out more, you probably want enough saved for at least $100 spending money a day for food, transport, going to movies etc etc. Always save up more than you think you'll need so you don't get caught out

It probably was a tad harsh, and for that I'm sorry, illfated. I hope your relationship isn't actually ill-fated.

I just don't understand why people ask things they can easily look up on the internet. I get wanting to talk to locals in the area for the best deals, but flight prices are something you can easily find.

[Moon]

I will be paying for all of it. The main problem here is my job usually won't let me take more than 3 days or so off at a time because of my position and how short staffed we are. I would love to spend a week or so down there but, like I said, I'm clueless.

- Yes we have discussed it, but she is just as clueless as I am. Ha.
- She still lives with her parents
- She does not drive
- The closest, cheapest, airport is 2 hours away from where she lives.

I figured I might have to rent a ride? Car? The main deal here, which is very important to me, is that I want to show her parents that I am very capable of taking care of myself. I want to show them I am able to take care of their daughter, so to speak. Lol.

Thank you guys for the advice!

You're only 21, you might not be allowed to rent a car in CA, you might want to check into that. You have to be 25 in a lot of places.

Can you take a bus from the airport to a city/town closer to her?

[illfated]

I've looked up the prices before. I more or less was looking for advice from people that have experience. Of course, I would be lying if I were to say I was not looking for an average cost. But I already have a rough estimate in my head for the longest possible duration I could stay.

As far as transportation, I know it sounds dumb but she has stated that her parents are able to come pick me up but I also don't want to bank on that. Like, what if I go there and her parents suddenly have a change of heart? Who knows. I have talked to her parents through Skype before, though. It also boils back down to the "I can take care of myself." Thing.

So my question is, what is the cheapest bet? Rent a Car or just take a Taxi? I want to take her places so I figured renting a car would be the best option.

[kittyo9]

Do lots of research online! Most of your questions can be answered by spending a few hours visiting the sites of the places you want to go and stay. You can look up the airports you might be flying into and the services they offer there in regards to ground transportation. Often, car rental services will have a booth set up in the airports and a small presence on the airport's website. You can check out their offers and prices there. You can use individual airline websites like Southwest and JetBlue to find fares if you have a preference, or you can use sites like Kayak and Expedia (there are lots more, you should have no problem finding them) to do a mass search for the best prices for both flights and hotels. If you're planning to check a bag when you fly, always check the airline's baggage policy-- sometimes the bag is included with your ticket and sometimes it's not. It's best to know how much you'll be paying in total before you buy your ticket.

Just in my own experience, it would benefit you to check airline prices a few times before you actually intend to buy them so that you get a feel for what the "average" price tends to be. Flying on weekends (F/Sa/Su) tends to be a little more expensive than flying on weekdays. Prices can change dramatically from day to day, as airlines have sales or change their prices to match changes in supply and demand.

I will be paying for all of it. The main problem here is my job usually won't let me take more than 3 days or so off at a time because of my position and how short staffed we are. I would love to spend a week or so down there but, like I said, I'm clueless.

...

I figured I might have to rent a ride? Car? The main deal here, which is very important to me, is that I want to show her parents that I am very capable of taking care of myself. I want to show them I am able to take care of their daughter, so to speak. Lol.

If you can take off 3 days in a row, could you do like W-Th-F so you get the weekend, too (for a total of 5 days), or do those 3 days include the weekend? Anything that gives you the maximum amount of consecutive days off would, of course, be the best. You could also try to plan around national holidays if those aren't counted in your "days off." For example, independence day is a Frday this year, so you could do T-W-Th + July 4th and then have the weekend following it.

[kittyo9]

You're only 21, you might not be allowed to rent a car in CA, you might want to check into that. You have to be 25 in a lot of places.

Can you take a bus from the airport to a city/town closer to her?

I just checked it and he can rent a car at 21 in certain cities, just not a van or something big/extra luxury.

[illfated]

Those three days would include the weekend. Once we get a little more staffed, I should be a bit more flexible. The only times in the year we are closed is Christmas, Easter, and Thanks Giving.

Also, when is the cheapest time to book a flight? I.E. A Tuesday?

[kittyo9]

Those three days would include the weekend. Once we get a little more staffed, I should be a bit more flexible. The only times in the year we are closed is Christmas, Easter, and Thanks Giving.

Also, when is the cheapest time to book a flight? I.E. A Tuesday?

Aw, that's poopy. I hope you can swing something with an extra day somehow. You're going to spend half a day traveling to get there and to come back, so you'd effectively only get 2 days with her for a 3-day trip. If possible, you might consider leaving the night before instead of the morning of your first day off (ex: leave after work/packing on Friday, take a late night flight, be there by like 8 am).

There are some theories that booking is cheaper on Tuesday evenings/Wednesday mornings ("because that's when airlines update their prices"), but I've gotten good deals on all days of the week. I think you just need to watch the prices carefully and set a reasonable goal price that you'd buy immediately if you saw it. For example, if tickets have been hovering around $80-100, but you've seen it dip into the 60s or 70s on the recent past, you might hold out for another dip into the 60s or 70s before buying (provided you have at least a few weeks ahead of you before your trip).