Meeting Face to Face

[Scottish love]

He lives in Scotland and I live in the US and at the end of September he is flying here to meet my son and I. I'm really nervous about us meeting. We have a rather large age gap and we connect online and through video chats, but I'm not sure if we will connect face to face. I'm in need of some advice for when we finally meet face to face. Have any of you felt so nervous about it you almost don't want them to fly out to see you, because they may be disappointed with who you are?

[snow]

Yeah I have!
I remember the day before I was going to leave I was so scared he might not like what he'd see that I was thinking about just not showing up, but in the end.. we spent so much time talking to each other through text, voice and video chat that I knew it would work out and it did

Just relax and be yourself, it'll work out

Good luck!

[Scottish love]

Yeah I have!
I remember the day before I was going to leave I was so scared he might not like what he'd see that I was thinking about just not showing up, but in the end.. we spent so much time talking to each other through text, voice and video chat that I knew it would work out and it did

Just relax and be yourself, it'll work out

Good luck!

Thank you

[alizee]

I was thinking of starting the same topic of discussion ... I have the same story as yours and we will be meeting for the first time in September (less then 30 days) just as you two, and YES, I am also stressed about our meeting. At the same time I am excited and happy because I really want to meet him, as we have such a beautiful connection and it seems we can built something strong. I mean after connecting with a man for over three months you can find out if you can have something worth waiting for. At the beginning of the summer I have read a study about LDRs saying that they can be stronger than CDs because they are based, from the beginning, on connection, confidence, trust and not on the physical part. The physical part, that comes with the first face-to-face meeting just adds to the strong connection that was built between the 2.
I am, at the same time, stressed/ worried because from the pictures he might be shorter than me (I hope I that*s not true, because photos can distort reality) and due to the stress of our face-to-face meeting I might get very shy, make mistakes, or behave clumpsy ... but then again I think that this can happen to him too, he might get shy too, as he*s also human...

[delightful]

I was absolutely wracked with nerves the first time I went to meet my SO face to face. 13 hours of travel time where you can't really text doesn't do much to calm your nerves... haha. But as long as you've been true to who you are online/through text to them, then I don't think you should have any problem at all. I think the best part of a LDR sometimes is that you tend to fall more in love with someones personality, because that's what you're connected to 24/7, and so as long as you're still the same personality wise in person, you two should be fine
As much as I was extremely nervous, as soon as I got to the airport and we met, it was as though I'd just been away for a reeeally long trip, not awkward at all, just felt really comfortable instead. The waiting is the hardest part, trust me! I still get nervous thinking about flying to see him :P

[Scottish love]

I was thinking of starting the same topic of discussion ... I have the same story as yours and we will be meeting for the first time in September (less then 30 days) just as you two, and YES, I am also stressed about our meeting. At the same time I am excited and happy because I really want to meet him, as we have such a beautiful connection and it seems we can built something strong. I mean after connecting with a man for over three months you can find out if you can have something worth waiting for. At the beginning of the summer I have read a study about LDRs saying that they can be stronger than CDs because they are based, from the beginning, on connection, confidence, trust and not on the physical part. The physical part, that comes with the first face-to-face meeting just adds to the strong connection that was built between the 2.
I am, at the same time, stressed/ worried because from the pictures he might be shorter than me (I hope I that*s not true, because photos can distort reality) and due to the stress of our face-to-face meeting I might get very shy, make mistakes, or behave clumpsy ... but then again I think that this can happen to him too, he might get shy too, as he*s also human...

I'm SO nervous about it. He's excited to finally be able to hold me, but I'm nervous and quite removed. I've been honest with him about it and he thinks I'm being silly. I'm just hoping he will accept me and our age doesn't bother him.

[alizee]

What*s the age difference between you two? Doesn*t he know your age? Is that a big difference and you think it will bother him? Hasn*t your age come up into any of your discussions??? For me and my SO, we did not talk about age, but about the year we graduated college (we went to the same college, but never knew each other) and so I found out he*s one year older than me.
I am giving you the same advice that I should take - except mine is about height - as I said he might be shorter than me (from the photos I *ve seen) and I am 5”8, but I am just afraid/ embarrased to ask him that out of the blue.
Or, he knows your age (I didn*t quite understand from your post) but you hope it won*t be a problem when you two meet. I can totally understand your fears, as I have some fears of my own and they can be normal to one point, but I also think about my crazy mind that twists words, increases anxiety or increases fear. It*s like a war in my mind and I am so trying to cool it down, thinking that it*s all in my head. I am going from sadness/ depression to happiness/ delightement with my relationship (although everything seems fine by now). Is this happening to you??? Am I not the only one who thinks she*s going crazy???? Of course he doesn*t know about any of my feelings, because I think he would be shocked by me.
To ease a little the fears/ anxiety you should drink some calming teas (lime, lavander, valeriana, etc) or drink a glass of wine, as I find these remedies can help me a little.

[Scottish love]

What*s the age difference between you two? Doesn*t he know your age? Is that a big difference and you think it will bother him? Hasn*t your age come up into any of your discussions??? For me and my SO, we did not talk about age, but about the year we graduated college (we went to the same college, but never knew each other) and so I found out he*s one year older than me.
I am giving you the same advice that I should take - except mine is about height - as I said he might be shorter than me (from the photos I *ve seen) and I am 5”8, but I am just afraid/ embarrased to ask him that out of the blue.
Or, he knows your age (I didn*t quite understand from your post) but you hope it won*t be a problem when you two meet. I can totally understand your fears, as I have some fears of my own and they can be normal to one point, but I also think about my crazy mind that twists words, increases anxiety or increases fear. It*s like a war in my mind and I am so trying to cool it down, thinking that it*s all in my head. I am going from sadness/ depression to happiness/ delightement with my relationship (although everything seems fine by now). Is this happening to you??? Am I not the only one who thinks she*s going crazy???? Of course he doesn*t know about any of my feelings, because I think he would be shocked by me.
To ease a little the fears/ anxiety you should drink some calming teas (lime, lavander, valeriana, etc) or drink a glass of wine, as I find these remedies can help me a little.

I've told him my age but there is a ten year difference and I'm just really scared about him thinking I'm too inexperienced when we meet face to face. I'm about 5'8" myself and I was scared also that I would be taller than him, so I made a statement that I was a GIANT compared to my friends and he asked me my height and he (on his own) told me his height. Hes 5'10". I feel you though about the mood thing, he hasn't really spoken to me recently (owns his own company so hes always busy) and it made my emotions go all over the place. At one point I was crying and laughing and I was a complete mess. You're not crazy, I feel that way too though. I've twisted reality because I was scared. I started believing he had a girlfriend when I was the girlfriend. Just try focusing on the positive, that's what I've been trying to do also.

[alizee]

I hope everything works well between you two. I am glad he is taller than you and I hope my SO is at least 5”8, so we can have at least the same height. But I am afraid to bring this into discussion. One day he told me about a football player that he saw in reality and was shocked to realise that he was taller than him (so, I looked online about the footballer*s height and found out he*s 5”9, so my SO has to be at least 5”9, but again, that*s a supposition ).
Don*t worry about the fact that you*re inexperienced. I am 32 yo and I really don*t have much experiece in love relationships, because I have been most of the time single. Some men find this seductive. I believe that when it comes to love experience is not so useful because every relatioship is different, because men are different. You just have to be natural and it will all come from your heart.
I am now at a low with my emotions because I feel sad. He doesn*t seem to want to talk daily, only every 2-3 days for 10-40 minutes/ phone call and I am OK with it because I am not a big phone talker, but there are times when I miss him (like these days) and I would like to talk daily with him and tell him everything that comes to my mind. I know he has a stressful job and spends there most of his day and then gets home very tired, but I still would like to know more about him. Sometimes, when we talk (like last night - I called him because I needed to hear his voice) I don*t feel him present in the conversation and I feel him cold, uninterested in what I have to say (he was watching a football game last night and I felt like he wasn*t in the mood for talking to me) and sometimes he seems so opened, happy, talkative to me. These mood swings of his drive me crazy. I know he is being honest and sicere with me because he always tells me where he goes, if he goes out, but I can*t help this mood swings that I have. As you said, one minute I am happy and the next I start to cry. Most of the time I just want to be alone and cry. I am getting very emotional. This has never happened to me before. I MEAN I JUST CAN*T READ HIS MIND ... I am sure men just don*t have the same emotional problems that we women have. He*s also not a romantic person and he*s not into this sweet things (like a sweet text before bedtime - if I send him one, he replies back, but if not he doesn*t send one on his own). I am so curious how he will behave when we will meet in person, because it*s different from being long distance !!!

[Lozz73]

Hi there, had to reply to this as I know exactly how you both are feeling right now, I have now been home a week after meeting my SO for the first time and after travelling for 20 hours to get the him the last hour I was shaking with nerves and wanted to throw up as I was making my way to baggage claim, I had no idea if he would like what he saw and although I knew he was going to be shorter than me I had no idea by how much and I found out it was quiet a lot....but the moment we saw each other and embraced I have never felt more comfortable with anyone in my life, I am taller and bigger than him yet none of it matters, he looks at me like he is looking at a super model lol and my favourite place in the world now is in his arms......don't let your stress about whether he will like what he sees put you off meeting him because he has fallen in love with the person you are and will love everything about you.

[alizee]

Hi there, had to reply to this as I know exactly how you both are feeling right now, I have now been home a week after meeting my SO for the first time and after travelling for 20 hours to get the him the last hour I was shaking with nerves and wanted to throw up as I was making my way to baggage claim, I had no idea if he would like what he saw and although I knew he was going to be shorter than me I had no idea by how much and I found out it was quiet a lot....but the moment we saw each other and embraced I have never felt more comfortable with anyone in my life, I am taller and bigger than him yet none of it matters, he looks at me like he is looking at a super model lol and my favourite place in the world now is in his arms......don't let your stress about whether he will like what he sees put you off meeting him because he has fallen in love with the person you are and will love everything about you.

I am so happy for you! I am so happy that the height difference doesn*t matter between you two!!!! Is the difference that big? I mean are you that tall??? I think when height difference is not really obvious is not a problem, but when the difference is noticeable it can be a problem for me and him (I really don*t know, because I never had this problem in the past), because I wouldn*t like as to feel awkward in social situations. I KNOW THAT HEIGHT IT*S A SUPERFICIAL THING and we should care for the soul, but I just don*t know what to say ...
I am so happy for you and I am happy to see that you are both very confident with your own height and that nothing else matters. I wish you all the best!!!

[Freebird]

Have any of you felt so nervous about it you almost don't want them to fly out to see you, because they may be disappointed with who you are?

Our meet date is further out, but I feel the EXACT same way. Even months before! I'm just so worried he won't like me in the flesh. I recently told him my worries and he told me the sweetest thing. Put my nervousness at ease (for now).

Good luck! I wish you the best and I'm sure it will be.

Great responses from others here, makes me happy reading them!

[farandaway]

I think you should trust your instinct, how you feel when you are chatting or talking and getting along. That is not an age gap you should worry about if everything else is well.

But of course it is always exciting to meet someone for the first time and since on LDR you've invested a lot of time and effort to get to know the person, it's natural to think about the missing bit. There is so much more into a relationship and we are deprived of that for so long.

I know my SO is slightly shorter. He is 5´11 and I'm 6ft. That didn't bother either one of us and I wasn't really that worried about any of it. I trusted that we will get along. I was slightly nervous but not really. Somehow I knew that we must click every other way since we click so well online. And we did. It was beyond amazing how well we connected. We just continued offline where we had left off.

This is an old post and you have met by now. I hope it went well!

[Lea-le-Lea]

OMG I KNOW EXACTLY how you're feeling. My SO is coming in 19 days, and I am beyond nervous. Even though we talk, text, skype a ridiculous amount, he knows who I am, I know who he is, and we've discussed our first meet a billion times, we're still out of our minds nervous. I got really bad last-last weekend when we hit the 20's, and started becoming extremely insecure and emotional, to the point where I was crying, and super sensitive to everything he said. It was RIDICULOUS. But I have finally come to accept that I'm finally meeting my best friend for the first time in the three years I've known him, and nothing has ever been this exciting in my life so far.

Channel your nervous energy into excitement. Let go of the worries, and just think, you're going to look into each other's eyes for the first time, and hear his voice without a speaker in your ear. You're going to feel his warmth.

I understand your age nerves too. My SO and I are 4 years apart, and while it's not much at all, I feel extremely... inexperienced when it comes to life or relationships. Or even a sexual relationship. But as long as you love each other, and honest and trusting, it will be the most amazing thing in the entire world (I'll try and take my own advice as well over the next few weeks.)

[Lea-le-Lea]

How you were feeling* OMG I just realized how old this post was.