Starting to freak out about 1st visit

[TampaLove]

We're 23 days away from our first visit, and I'm about ready to lose it. I'm so nervous that there's not going to be the right chemistry or that he's not going to like me when he meets me. I just got my heart broken with a CD breakup about 6 months ago, and dealt with a rejection after that of someone I liked that didn't like me back, so my feelings are really tender to rejection right now. A lot of unknown situations are happening in my world right now, and this is just one more added stressor.

How do you deal with it?

[Zapookie]

I dealt with it by just dealing with it. You're going to have many moments in your life where you feel nervous and unprepared, but that's part of life and part of the experience. The worst thing that can happen is that you two don't work out.

Talking about the situation with each other may make you feel better. Generally most couples that started out online here on LFAD have shared the same chemistry in person, too. I can only think of one instance in all my time on this site where it didn't work out, and that was more to do with the fact that the other person was just a total scum bag.

As long as you have both been open and honest this whole time, there is no reason that you won't have that chemistry in person.

[Unconditional]

I share your exact same worries about the first time I'll meet my SO.

I'm sure everything will go great for you though-I agree with zapookie

[whatruckus]

When we first met, I wasn't that nervous beforehand, but once I got there and saw him, he took my breath away.

When I did get nervous, I tried not to think about it and just think about how well we connected before we met. All I had to do was be myself because he already loved it.

If you already have the connection, there's no need to worry. :] He likes you for you, just act the same way you do when you text him/email him/message him/whatever you guys do, that's all. Once you do that, the nervousness and anxiety fades and you'll realize you had nothing to freak out about. He already likes you and wants to meet you, you've won that battle.

[merlinkitty]

When we first met, I wasn't that nervous beforehand, but once I got there and saw him, he took my breath away

Awww I don't think I've gotten to the "nervous to see him" state, yet. If I'm honest I'm still nervous talking to him lol but he knows that I just try to remind myself this is the same guy I've been texting for a year. He's just got a face, a voice, and a laugh now when I think about finally meeting him I've thought the same thing. That this is the same guy I've been chatting up for who knows how long at that point. We've always got on. The only difference being that I can finally look up at him, smell him, and feel him

[BlueCat]

I was fine, until I got to the airport to pick him up, then I was freaking out, lol. I simply tried to distract myself until his flight arrived. Yes it may not have worked out, but better to take that chance than not to simply because I was scared.

Talking to him about the fact that you're nervous might help, he's probably nervous too.

[RachelAnne]

I agree with the others. The first time meeting is always nerve-wracking, but I'm sure if the two of you get along just fine now, it'll be the same in person (: I was freaking out at the airport until I finally hugged him--then everything just felt perfect. The nerves will go away, just breathe, relax, and get excited! You finally get to meet!

[kittyo9]

I got mixed emotions of excitement and nervousness in the days leading up to our first visit. I was also afraid he wouldn't like how I looked or that I wouldn't like him. I think what helped me to cope with it the most was remembering that he was a real human being with whom I'd spent countless hours chatting, gaming, and loving. I skyped with him a lot the day before I went to remind myself what I'm going for. I got really nervous on the plane rides over and spent a lot of time thinking about what might happen and how we'd feel. I'm a planner and I tend to mentally/emotionally prepare myself for all possible outcomes way before they happen, so by the time I actually got to the Lima airport and was going through customs, I was just too tired and ready to be done with my trip. xD It felt really good to see him for real finally, and he brought me flowers and hugged me and held my hand right away. It took a few hours before we were totally comfortable with each other, but after that, everything was amazing.

[LottieLove]

I feel like it's really normal to freak out before that first visit! I was so, so excited but also worried that she wouldn't like me, wouldn't like the way I look, that I'd be too awkward, that I wouldn't know what to do. When I got there and first saw her coming towards me I felt as though I was dreaming, and then she was holding me close to her and it just felt right, it just made sense. I was so shy that I couldn't maintain eye contact with her for more than a few seconds for the first few hours, but she was really understanding about it, she just talked to me and kept making those little bits of eye contact with me or gently putting her hand on my arm or something like that until I calmed down, and after that it was just like we'd always been together.

[Miasmata]

I was incredibly nervous before the first visit as well. I didn't sleep at all the night before, just kept tossing and turning. Like LottieLove, I was worried about a ton of things, and I especially feared I would do something wrong, could act too awkwardly, or just generally not be as good as my SO expected. Sitting at the airport was a nightmare, my pulse was going nuts and the wait felt endless. It didn't help that he was one of the last people to leave the baggage pickup, too - I think I sat there, fidgeting around, for like half an hour at least. I could also barely keep eye contact with him because I was just overwhelmed by my emotions and didn't know what to do. But I can assure you that this is all not a dealbreaker or anything of the sort - I felt I was being the most awkward, shy person possible and yet it still worked out just fine in the end. I felt incredibly comfortable with him, and it didn't take long for me to calm down and enjoy our time together.

Of course it's a new and exciting situation, but don't think that the chemistry and understanding you've had online is suddenly going poof just because one or both of you are shy and nervous at first. You can do this, I'm damn sure. If I could, so can you

[bubblehits]

I feel nervous about meeting my SO for the first time. 5 more months for me to go before I fly out to see him.

I keep imagining that I'm going to do something completely stupid like start crying and then because I can't see for the tears in my eyes, I'll run up to the wrong person... My SO said he can actually see me doing that. Made me feel so much better

[pretty ll vacant]

Honestly, I've seen these sort of posts a million times. Everyone is always nervous meeting their LD BF for the first time, I know I sure as hell was. This community really helped me out though. It almost always goes WAY better than you think it will.

He's probably just as nervous as you are, just try to calm yourself and be the same girl that impressed him so much in the first place. I'm so excited for you! First visits are so exciting and I still remember mine to this day, everything was so magical and even better than I could've imagined. Everything will be great.

[whatruckus]

Honestly, I've seen these sort of posts a million times. Everyone is always nervous meeting their LD BF for the first time, I know I sure as hell was. This community really helped me out though. It almost always goes WAY better than you think it will.

He's probably just as nervous as you are, just try to calm yourself and be the same girl that impressed him so much in the first place. I'm so excited for you! First visits are so exciting and I still remember mine to this day, everything was so magical and even better than I could've imagined. Everything will be great.

Exactly! Just be yourself!!!

[Ahava]

I STILL get nervous and fidgetty when I wait for him at the airport or go and see him. Usually after an hour or so it feels like we've always been together.

[angelvee]

I know how you feel. I met my SO for the first time the other week and I was so nervous! Even though we always skyped, I was terrified we wouldn't have that spark in person. The worst part was waiting for him to get here, but when he showed up everything turned out just fine. I think the shock of finally seeing him standing in front of me took over for a bit, but after standing in shock for a bit we had our first hug. Everything turned out better than I could have ever dreamed, and we felt like we had already known eachother. Just be yourself, and everything will be fine!