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First meeting in october...nervous about everything..

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    #1

    First meeting in october...nervous about everything..

    So, I'll buy my plane ticket next week. So excited and so nervous.

    My lovely boyfriend told me that he told his mom about me. WOW. I was a little shocked because I didn't expect him to do that already. lol


    First thing is, that I read a lot about the immigration officer thing...I am so confused now. And it scares the **** out of me tbh lol.
    I am from Germany and he lives in the US. I know a girl whos husband is from the US. She told me, that she didn't had any problems with the IO. But there are a lot of horrer stories on the internet. And I really don't know what I should do if I get denied entry...And I heard of this rule, that you are not allowed to stay longer in the US than out of the US, is that correct? Because I am planning on going back to the US in december, if my SO doesn't have any other plans and if things are going well in october.

    I'll only stay for about a week, no intention of staying in the US (not for now) and I also have no intention of getting married (not yet lol)

    Other thing is, how was your first meeting like? I mean, was it awkward for you to see your SO in real for the first time? The first kiss, the first hug?

    As you can read, my head is full of (stupid) thoughts...and I got a headache now..

    THX guys for for your help and advice in advance!
    Tags: None
    #2
    I'm sure other people are better qualified than I am to advise you about the immigration stuff, but I think the rule is that if you stay one week in October, you should be fine to come back in December because you would have spent more than a week out of the US. Also, to avoid problems with immigration, bring whatever proof you can to show ties with your home country (copy of rental contract, certificate from your job or university or whatever it is that you do in life, etc.)

    As for the first meeting, I hear it can be absolutely magical and fairytale-like, but honestly I think it's reasonable to expect a deal of awkwardness in the first moments To me it was the whole "picture turned into a person" thing (I had never video-chatted with him before) that made him so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time. Everything about him was new, how he walked, how he smelled, how his skin felt like. It takes a while getting used to. First hug was awkward, first kiss slightly less so (it didn't happen until two hours after we saw each other)

    My advice is just to relax and take things as they come
    I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

    Comment

      #3
      I am from Austria and I was worried about those horror stories myself when I first flew out there. You get a piece of paper (I-94W) where you have to specify where you are going to stay and how long. I wrote down my at that time boyfriend's address and 11 days. I ticked that I had food with me, as I had some chocolate in my suitcase, and the officer asked me what food I had, so I told him it was chocolate and he said it was fine and to not tick it off next time. That was in March 2013.

      I came back in June 2013 and landed in Boston. The officer asked me where I would stay, I said with friends. He asked me who payed for my ticket, I told him I payed for it. He asked me how I am going to support myself throughout my stay (75 days) and I said I had saved money and would pay for whatever I would need. He didn't ask me for any papers.

      The third time I came back, October 2013, the officer thought I was trying to stay in America illegally since I had been in America longer than I had been outside of America. I had a short interview with another officer whom I told that I would visit my boyfriend and would then return on the date shown in my papers (I had booked a roundtrip). He said not to cut it too short next time or it looks like I have no intentions on coming back.

      How was the first meeting?
      It was really nice. We saw each other and immediately liked each other. He hugged me and it felt nice, I was nervous about the kiss, but it felt great. When we sat in the car, I felt a little awkward but it soon faded away

      Relationship began: 05/22/2012
      First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
      Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
      Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
      Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
      Married: 1/24/2015
      Became Resident: 9/14/2015

      Comment

        #4
        I doubt you will have that much trouble if you are from Germany. I can't say much more than that.

        First meetings can be scary and amazing and awkward and fun. You have lots of questions that get answered in a short amount of time. When I met my SO for the first time, it was a little weird for a couple hours, but we warmed up to each other quickly and it was perfect afterwards.
        Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
        Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
        Engaged: 09/26/2020

        Comment

          #5
          Not quite sure if I understood your post right, but due to a treaty that the US and a few other countries have with the EU, you can stay up to 3 months on a single visit. For potential exceptions and hooks and such, you should definitely contact the closest US embassy in Germany and/or google around a bit. Especially immigration and visa bureaucracy has its stupid pitfalls, so do plenty of research!

          That aside, enjoy your first visit. I know it's much easier said than done, but don't worry too much and just enjoy it for what it is. Much, MUCH more often than not, things turn out quite better than you think

          ~
          It'll take a lot more than words and guns
          A whole lot more than riches and muscle
          The hands of the many must join as one
          And together we'll cross the river

          Comment

            #6
            I know this is way late, but I am so excited for you that you get to meet your SO! We're kind of in reversed roles (my SO is from the Netherlands and I am from the US) but it's still kind of related, right? While I can't really say anything for the IO, I can say that meeting your SO is going to be so wonderful! If you guys are wonderful now when you meet it's going to be so much better! I just met my SO in person this past May. But, the first kiss.... maybe a little awkward! I avoided mine for an hour or so because I had just been travelling for almost 24 hours and I"m sure I was smelly and gross, but when he kisses me everything feel right! Hugs are so important. All I can say to you is when you're with your SO and you know that you won't be with them for long, HUG THEM A LOT. KISS THEM A LOT. I miss being held by my SO more than anything in the world. I miss him and his voice, but I miss his touch and affection most! I didn't think seeing him was awkward, and after we spent a couple days together everything clicked into place. We had the same thoughts, laughed at the same things. It's wonderful and I am so excited for you to get to experience that! Please keep us updated!!!!!!

            Comment

              #7
              https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/questio...5104638AA2cDXd............................
              but remember these laws change all the time.

              It's not about you being in the USA more than you are out of it. It is about how long non USA citizens are allowed on certain type of visas. You can travel as a EU citizen for up to 90 days on your EU passport. If you want to stay longer, you would need to apply for a different Visa first. USA is quite picky about you coming in as a visitor and then changing to another visa so make sure you are allowed to do anything before you plan on staying for more than 90 Days.

              It is quite similar for me as a USA citizen, I can only visit much of EU, including Schengen and Ireland for up to 90 days, and UK for up to 6 months. I believe the difference you will find in applying for longer stay visa is that you would actually have to prove you had financial means to sustain yourself for the duration of your visit. If I wanted to stay in NL, for instance, I would need to do the same thing. In order for me to move my SO over to USA at some point, even after we are married, he would have to apply for a different visa.

              Every country is tightening up on enforcing these laws so I highly advise you to make sure you are certain and file any proper paperwork if you plan on staying for over 90 Days. They will stamp your passport and if you overstay you risk the chance of being denied entry back the next time or even a ban.

              23 is right about bringing proof of ties to your home country too, my Dutch SO was grilled the first time so the second time he had the proof of ties and got in without a hitch.
              Last edited by Hollandia; August 27, 2014, 08:06 PM.
              "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
              Benjamin Franklin

              Comment

                #8
                I will just stay for a week. So the VWP should be fine
                Now, time really flies and yes it's only 1 month and 21 days left until we can finally hug eachother. Awesome.
                Since this is my first time flying such a long distance by myself..I have two stop overs...London and New York. I am not sure what I have to expect and if I will find everything in time. What will the whole "process" be like? Any experiences?

                And entering the states...I get off the plane and then I go to see the IO and then to the customs and then I can collect my stuff?

                How embarrassing, sorry for asking so many questions :/

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Alma View Post
                  I will just stay for a week. So the VWP should be fine
                  Now, time really flies and yes it's only 1 month and 21 days left until we can finally hug eachother. Awesome.
                  Since this is my first time flying such a long distance by myself..I have two stop overs...London and New York. I am not sure what I have to expect and if I will find everything in time. What will the whole "process" be like? Any experiences?

                  And entering the states...I get off the plane and then I go to see the IO and then to the customs and then I can collect my stuff?

                  How embarrassing, sorry for asking so many questions :/
                  I just posted all about flying alone on this thread.

                  https://members.lovingfromadistance....720#post366720

                  I believe you will go through immigration at layover in NYC and also in UK . You should call the airports because I have heard horror stories from my SO's dad where he had to do it twice in USA. You are EU so it just a matter of another line for you in London. My Dutch SO and I did a layover in Heathrow in January and he did have to go through the immigration lines. More than likely since you have done in immigration it should be an domestic flight from NYC to your final destination and when you land there you just get your bags and go.

                  Which airports in London and which airport in NYC? Heathrow takes about 90 minutes to get to your gate, make sure you get off the plane and get to your gate 30 minutes before your flight takes off. I got stuck on tarmac in Philly during a tight connection in Heathrow once and even though I literally RAN through the airport they still had to hold the plane for me. The security lines at Heathrow are massive and layovers land outside of security. Follow the masses, get off the plane go through immigration and security quick. Do you have your ESTA for USA? You can apply for it online. Print it off and bring to USA immigration along with your passport. Bring a copy of your school or work papers to show ties to Germany and a letter of invitation from who you are staying with or hotel reservation and have a return ticket handy.
                  Last edited by Hollandia; August 31, 2014, 08:00 AM.
                  "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                  Benjamin Franklin

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Thank you for your answer. I will land in London Heathrow at 7:55 am gate 5. Then I will have to be at gate 3.

                    found this which I think is quite helpful
                    https://www.heathrowairport.com/heat...-international

                    What happens if I miss my connection flight to NY? Do I have to pay for another flight? That would be horrible!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Alma View Post
                      Thank you for your answer. I will land in London Heathrow at 7:55 am gate 5. Then I will have to be at gate 3.

                      found this which I think is quite helpful
                      https://www.heathrowairport.com/heat...-international

                      What happens if I miss my connection flight to NY? Do I have to pay for another flight? That would be horrible!
                      How long is your layover in Heathrow? If you miss your flight due to the airline's fault, they should take care of it. If you do because of your fault, you will have to pay a penality must likely and take a later flight.

                      I have done at least 5 layovers in Heathrow, never missed a connection yet, just make sure you follow the signs. Heathrown has buses and a internal train that takes you between different parts of the airport. I wanted to warn you about it, just so you know, don't dawdle.
                      Last edited by Hollandia; August 31, 2014, 09:05 AM.
                      "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                      Benjamin Franklin

                      Comment

                        #12
                        plane to NY departs at 10:30. I guess 2 1/2 hours should be enough time to get from gate to gate. And I will definitely make sure not to dawdle. I will be as fast as I have never been before, lol.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Alma View Post
                          plane to NY departs at 10:30. I guess 2 1/2 hours should be enough time to get from gate to gate. And I will definitely make sure not to dawdle. I will be as fast as I have never been before, lol.
                          2.5 hours you should be fine. Just get near your gate first and then grab a bite or drink. It has a huge shopping area after security and tons of cafes.
                          I told the airline staff it was first time flying alone and that were sweet as can be.
                          "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                          Benjamin Franklin

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Okay. So I guess I'll be fine as long as I find my gate in time.
                            This is so exciting and overwhelming.
                            Most of all the immigration process while entering the US. Oh lord, I hope everything will be fine..

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