What should I do?

[Natalia0167]

My bf and me had been together for 3 years. When I was living in Florida and he was living in Texas he came to visit me for 5 days in march 2013, they were the best days ever. I recently moved to Pennsylvania due to college. Now after 8 months, he still has no plans to visiting me again. At first he was telling me that since he already came to visit me that it is my turn but the problem is I have no money and my parents said no to them giving me money for that. Then he started saying he really wants to visit me and that he will try but still no telling me when. Recently i asked him to be honest if he is going to visit me before march 2015 or at least have a plan before march 2015 and he said no but that he wants to. I dont know what to do this really has me heartbroken.

[Petals]

My bf and me had been together for 3 years. When I was living in Florida and he was living in Texas he came to visit me for 5 days in march 2013, they were the best days ever. I recently moved to Pennsylvania due to college. Now after 8 months, he still has no plans to visiting me again. At first he was telling me that since he already came to visit me that it is my turn but the problem is I have no money and my parents said no to them giving me money for that. Then he started saying he really wants to visit me and that he will try but still no telling me when. Recently i asked him to be honest if he is going to visit me before march 2015 or at least have a plan before march 2015 and he said no but that he wants to. I dont know what to do this really has me heartbroken.

Hmmm...are you sure you are still his girlfriend?

If money/schedule isn't preventing him from visiting you then you really need to be questioning if he's really invested in continuing a serious relationship with you.

[Natalia0167]

Hmmm...are you sure you are still his girlfriend?

If money/schedule isn't preventing him from visiting you then you really need to be questioning if he's really invested in continuing a serious relationship with you.

thats true. He works and study. He pays for his own car and college but he also buys stuff for his gun and things like tv and im not saying thats bad, I just feel like he is not saving money to see me

[Miasmata]

You should ask him about that. He can't have his cake and eat it too - If he doesn't want to invest anything into a relationship, but still have someone he calls his girlfriend, he's doing it wrong. Talk to him directly about it and tell him that you feel he's not saving up any money to see you.

[FloridaLovesChicago]

Is there a reason you both can't work towards a fund for you to go visit him? My BF and I typically share the costs of anything our relationship involves. On our trips we either pay for ourselves (If we are meeting somewhere) or we split the cost of the tickets (if we are going to go to the other's home). A few days ago my BF surprised me with a visit to see him by buying me tickets - but that's the only time it's ever happened. I am a single mom and have very little money to spare most of the time so I'm in the same boat as you as far as funds go. He makes twice my salary and would gladly pay for everything but I won't let him do that. We have a paypal account that has a debit card and when I have extra money to throw in there, he matches it. When it comes time for a trip or if we're together and go do something, the money comes out of that account. It feels a lot better spending "our money" than just his.
Maybe you can talk to him about doing the same. Even if you can only save a few bucks a week - it's closer than not having anything saved at all! Plus, if he's matching what you're saving, you're getting there twice as fast!

[differentcountries]

thats true. He works and study. He pays for his own car and college but he also buys stuff for his gun and things like tv and im not saying thats bad, I just feel like he is not saving money to see me

You should ask him about this, perhaps he is saving money and you don't know it, perhaps he is taking care of bills now and will tend to you later, perhaps he doesn't want to admit he is rather broke, too.

[Natalia0167]

Is there a reason you both can't work towards a fund for you to go visit him? My BF and I typically share the costs of anything our relationship involves. On our trips we either pay for ourselves (If we are meeting somewhere) or we split the cost of the tickets (if we are going to go to the other's home). A few days ago my BF surprised me with a visit to see him by buying me tickets - but that's the only time it's ever happened. I am a single mom and have very little money to spare most of the time so I'm in the same boat as you as far as funds go. He makes twice my salary and would gladly pay for everything but I won't let him do that. We have a paypal account that has a debit card and when I have extra money to throw in there, he matches it. When it comes time for a trip or if we're together and go do something, the money comes out of that account. It feels a lot better spending "our money" than just his.
Maybe you can talk to him about doing the same. Even if you can only save a few bucks a week - it's closer than not having anything saved at all! Plus, if he's matching what you're saving, you're getting there twice as fast!

wow this really helped me!! thats a great idea i will talk to him about it and see what he says. Thank you soo much