So, I have no idea what I'm doing

[Preciously15]

Just as the title states I have no clue what I'm doing. This long distance relationship just kind of fell in my lap recently. So I don't really know if I should be in one. But, I do know he's such a sweetie and respectful! I can't not be with him because we live in different states. Too much of what I want in a life partner. These are things I've been looking for for a while dating and seems to be hard to find.

So we're planning our first meet/weekend. We've got almost 700 miles between us. I decided to go to him since I have children in my house and will not be introducing him to them yet. So no sleeping at my house even though he said he'd stay at a hotel. I opted for me to come there, I need to break anyways.

Again, with me coming there he offers to stay with him or he'd buy a room for me and we'd just stay there all weekend. I am strongly leaning toward just staying with him. I mean, yes we've never met but, I just hate the fact of him spending money for a hotel room when he lives there. It just seems so wasteful especially since my birthday is in a month and wants us to plan a small vacation. Also, though I'm a bit nervous about where exactly he lives. How can I get comfortable with staying at his place? He keeps saying, "I just want you to be comfortable." And I WANT to stay with him, but because sometimes I'm a bit shy when meeting people in person for the first time. There's no meet at this place and let me check you out, I'm traveling 700 miles to be with him... lol We've Skyped, but that's different.

Primarily my nervousness is coming from previous bad experiences going to other people's houses. I'm desperately trying to shake those bad experiences and be comfortable being at his place since he's opening it up. How did you any of you plan your first weekend together? Did you stay at a hotel? How did you get comfortable with the idea of spending the weekend with them?

[Moon]

You could always get a hotel for the first night and see how it goes from there, if it's good and you're comfortable, either don't use it, or stay with him after the first night. Your comfort and safety is never a waste of money If you feel bad still, get a cheap Motel6 or something. That said, I traveled to a foreign country to meet my guy for the first time, and stayed at his place. I only did that because we'd worked together and were friends for a few years first, and I knew it was OK.

[differentcountries]

Our first long weekend together was actually spent in his friends' place, a whole gang of guys living together and it was not even SOs bedroom, because SO usually just crashed on the couch! But I am used to sleeping in weird places with people I don't know. I earned some extra points with SO over it, because when we met I stayed in a fancy hotel with spa and swimmingpool so he was really nervous about a student hall not being fancy enough for me... I had money for a hotel in case it had not worked out, though! Have some kind of backup plan and you will be fine

[R&R]

I agree with Moon. Schedule a hotel for the first night and leave the second night open. My SO lives 1000 miles away (NH to IN) and we always stay someplace different when we're out there. It becomes a small vacation for both of us.

[Preciously15]

Thank you so much. That makes sense, it's almost embarrassing I didn't of this first... lol That's definitely what we'll plan to do.

[Moon]

Thank you so much. That makes sense, it's almost embarrassing I didn't of this first... lol That's definitely what we'll plan to do.

You're welcome, and I hope your first meeting is fantastic

[Ella85]

I know this might be a few days late but I thought I'd share my experience. I was really nervous but I did stay at my boyfriends house from day one. I was flying all the way from England and I had paid out a lot on travel already. We'd been in a relationship online for 4 months before my trip to see him and although I was really nervous I trusted him completely. I also have a daughter and so did he. The fact that he was trusting me with his daughter as well. Mine was at home as I couldn't afford flights for us both to go and for us to both spend the summer there as well. You'll be fine, do what you feel comfortable with.

[Summer0808]

Ahh, this sounds so familiar. You only live once, right?

[Scouse05]

I'm wondering how it went?? Hope it was all you wanted it to be.

My SO flew from Aus for our first meet. I initially thought about getting a hotel for the 1st couple of nights but felt it would be much more comfortable for her to be at mine. This worked out quite well because she was so jet lagged at the beginning she slept the majority of the time.

When we think about it, it is quite crazy going to someone's home that you've never physically met but after 6 months chatting online it felt like the most natural thing. My home is hers and vice versa.