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Just Plain Nervous

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    Just Plain Nervous

    I'm going out to South Dakota to see my boyfriend in just three short weeks. He's just finishing up his junior of high school while I am graduating, so it's easier for me to go out there. We won't be closing the distance, but at least I get to finally meet him. I am just so nervous. We've been "together" for over two years now. Since we live so far apart, we've kept it as an open relationship. He's been with his girlfriend for over a year now. She's a senior as well, and I'm just so nervous that he'll change his mind about us. He tells me he's going to break up with her before I go all the way out there, and I believe him completely. I'm just so scared he'll get back with her after we meet. He tells me all the time that it won't happen, but I'm still just paranoid. I haven't had a serious relationship since I met him, because I just love him so much. He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just needed to vent haha. I'm just nervous about not only meeting him but also about him changing his mind.

    #2
    Why is he breaking up with her before you come? Are you going to suddenly become monogamous?
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      Open relationships are way too dangerous. Personally there is no way that I'd do the open relationship, the jealousy would make me go crazy.
      And what you are saying is that you are just visiting him for some weeks and then going back home? And he is going to break up with his CD gf for good? I'm sorry, but that doesn't feel like a healthy situation for either of you.

      Best of luck anyway!

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        #4
        I am very sceptical of young people doing open relationships and polyamory. I am also sceptical of the idea of a "period girlfriend/boyfriend". I have two boyfriends myself, but they are important to me and I would never break up with one of them for the other or anyone else.

        If you have decided that your relationship is primary, that he can date others casually but only up until you meet, that is your right to make those rules. But suddenly dumping someone you are used to have around, sleep with and see a lot is not easy. I am a littcle concerned that he doesn't give you a date for when this is going to happen. Also, did you talk over if you are going to stop seeing others after you meet? How will you maintain a sexual relationship if, after you have met, you are now monogamoous?

        Also, have you talked over safer sex? Did he use condoms with her? Do you plan on using condoms with him? These are important questions. I am fluent bonded with boyfriends so no condoms, but only after all of us taking hiv and std tests.

        For tips on how to deal with insecurities and making rules, I reccomend the free download sheets from Triastan Toarmino on Opening up (or better yet, buy her book, but this is a good start): https://openingup.net/resources/free...rom-opening-up and especially the checklist you can do for yourself: https://openingup.net/wp-content/upl...luation-OU.pdf
        Last edited by differentcountries; May 18, 2015, 05:46 AM.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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