First time meeting?

[Chris516]

I have been communicating with a woman online. Up until now, I had been saving up money for a camera for my bike. I told her about my parents' giving me the bike camera I wanted. For my birthday. She responded by asking if I would put that saved $ towards flying out to visit her. I eagerly agreed.

At the same time. While I eagerly agreed. How does anyone here, handle/cope with, the other person not talking much?

[Miasmata]

I don't quite understand how these two issues are related?

[Chris516]

I don't quite understand how these two issues are related?

They are related, in that, she wants me to come out to see her. But she barely says anything on the phone, Facebook messenger, or Yahoo Messenger.

Translation: Even though she wants me to come out there. Why save $ for travel. When she rarely communicates.

[sweetshay]

They are related, in that, she wants me to come out to see her. But she barely says anything on the phone, Facebook messenger, or Yahoo Messenger.

Translation: Even though she wants me to come out there. Why save $ for travel. When she rarely communicates.

I think that's a very valid concern, which raises a lot of questions in my head.. Have you mentioned that you feel this way? And do you think her lack of communication is just her personality? Some people are great in person but not so great on the phone or through messaging. Do you think she maybe is too busy to respond? Or perhaps it's just a lack of interest and/or effort?

[Chris516]

I think that's a very valid concern, which raises a lot of questions in my head.. Have you mentioned that you feel this way? And do you think her lack of communication is just her personality? Some people are great in person but not so great on the phone or through messaging. Do you think she maybe is too busy to respond? Or perhaps it's just a lack of interest and/or effort?

She has told me before, that she doesn't know what to talk about. She isn't too busy to respond. I have asked her in the past, if I was boring. She has said I am not. She is the one that mentioned using the $ for the flight. That I was already thinking.

[Shauny]

What kind of distance apart are you both?
How long have you known her?
Have you video called her on Skype or Hangouts?
How much do you trust her?
Have you noticed anything out of place on her Facebook at all?

Just things you have to look out for before you buy a flight to see her. If she seems like a stranger and you don't know too much about her but you like her, it could just be infatuation and not love; a case of you love her because you need her, not you need her because you love her.
If you two are meant for eachother, I'm sure there would have been some sort of little spark or conversations by now. I could never talk to girls until I met my SO, then I never stopped talking to her.

Edit: I wouldn't waste money in seeing someone you're not 100% sure about and fond of.

[Chris516]

What kind of distance apart are you both?
How long have you known her?
Have you video called her on Skype or Hangouts?
How much do you trust her?
Have you noticed anything out of place on her Facebook at all?

Just things you have to look out for before you buy a flight to see her. If she seems like a stranger and you don't know too much about her but you like her, it could just be infatuation and not love; a case of you love her because you need her, not you need her because you love her.
If you two are meant for eachother, I'm sure there would have been some sort of little spark or conversations by now. I could never talk to girls until I met my SO, then I never stopped talking to her.

Edit: I wouldn't waste money in seeing someone you're not 100% sure about and fond of.

Thank you for your detailed response.

1. 2,500+mi.(MD suburbs of DC region-LA SoCal)
2. More than ten years
3. Skype gets quirky on my PC. So I don't use it. A relative had wanted me to put it on my PC, for when they traveled to the Continent of Africa. I told them, I would only use Yahoo Messenger Voice Chat. Which I have used to talk to other people.
4. I don't have any trust issues with her.
5. Nothing out of place, on her FB page.

On Mother's Day, her 25yr.-old son(married, 1yr.-old son) didn't even call her.(not even the next day) I told her that was despicable of him. That there was no excuse for his not calling his mother at all. She appreciated my saying that.

No, It isn't even close to infatuation. Because, While I am grateful for her offer of paying for food while I am there. I told her that isn't fair to her, and I would pay for my own food. Despite the high California prices for the basics.

[snow_girl]

I don't see what the issue is then, go see her

[Chris516]

I don't see what the issue is then, go see her

$ for the plane ticket. I only have 50%.

[differentcountries]

$ for the plane ticket. I only have 50%.

Then save up more, or ask her to chip in on the tickets.

[Chris516]

Then save up more, or ask her to chip in on the tickets.

I am going to save up the rest of the 50% for the flight. Along with an extra $100 for food for the week(California is expensive).

[snow_girl]

I am going to save up the rest of the 50% for the flight. Along with an extra $100 for food for the week(California is expensive).

you might want to save up a bit more for food unless you plan on eating at subway the entire time

[R&R]

I am going to save up the rest of the 50% for the flight. Along with an extra $100 for food for the week(California is expensive).

If you don't plan on eating out, that should be fine. There are grocery stores in CA where you can get somewhat decent prices. When I lived there, I shopped at a store where the prices were considerably lower than say, Albertson's (that place is crazy expensive), but you had to bag your own groceries. Just do a little research on her area. Plus, cooking together can be fun.

[Chris516]

you might want to save up a bit more for food unless you plan on eating at subway the entire time

I was beginning to think that myself.

If you don't plan on eating out, that should be fine. There are grocery stores in CA where you can get somewhat decent prices. When I lived there, I shopped at a store where the prices were considerably lower than say, Albertson's (that place is crazy expensive), but you had to bag your own groceries. Just do a little research on her area. Plus, cooking together can be fun.

Yes, I asked her about the prices. A gallon of milk for starters(I love milk). I think she said it was close to $5 at Albertson's. It is 1/2 that on the East Coast.

[R&R]

I was beginning to think that myself.


Yes, I asked her about the prices. A gallon of milk for starters(I love milk). I think she said it was close to $5 at Albertson's. It is 1/2 that on the East Coast.

See if there is a Food Co nearby. Albertson's is definitely the most expensive. They are the same company that own's Shaw's on the East Coast.