First time visit went great I thought???

[seagirl]

Hi Everyone,

I met a guy at a wedding a little over a month ago. It was an instant attraction like I’ve never experienced. We exchanged numbers and texted daily afterwards. He lives in a different state than me. I just went to go visit him for the first time this weekend. We spent 3 days together and had a blast. We went dancing, he planned a romantic dinner, etc…all went well. He was super affectionate with me the whole time. Conversation was great. He did ask in general if I’d ever be willing to move, and if so where to- and I stupidly didn’t even mention the state he lives in. In the moment I was worried about being too obvious or coming on too strong so didn’t mention it, even though I would really move anywhere for the right guy. Sometimes I worry about playing the “game” rather than just being honest as I’m worried I will scare a guy away if I don’t act somewhat hard to get.

Anyways, the last day he drove me to the airport, held my hand the whole way there and we said our goodbyes. Then I didn’t get any sort of text afterwards. I just assumed if he had as good of a time as I did that I would get the “had a great time, miss you already” type of text. I ended up texting him when I got home and said thanks for everything and that I had a good time with him. He responded and said he had a good time as well. He has not texted since…it just seems unusual to me after such a great weekend to not hear from him. I’m worried it’s due to our “where would you move” conversation. I realize I may be completely overreacting- we did just spent 3 days together so maybe I am expecting too much? I guess I have been comparing it to how he acted after meeting at the wedding- he constantly texted me saying cute, sweet stuff…so think it’s weird he wouldn’t do something similar this time. What do you guys think? I am feeling very insecure right now.

[SailorRei]

Maybe try texting him again, the way you guys used to before meeting? Something light, just to start a conversation. I know that according to game it's his move, but you have really nothing to lose here. Have you guys talked about being in LDR when you were over? Are you even bf/gf?

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Here's my thoughts about "the game": It's bullshit. I have never played the game with my boyfriend because if he isn't mature enough to handle the fact that I have opinions and feelings, then he isn't the guy for me. Obviously you don't want to come off too strong, but what is so wrong with admitting that you like someone or that you see a future with them? Now, don't go planning the wedding after your first weekend together, but if a guy is that freaked out over you showing that you like him a lot then do you really want him? Also, I think it interferes with good communication, which you will definitely need in a LDR. If you're always afraid to talk about anything that's bothering you (namely, if you don't want to call him out and ask what's going on in his mind after this last trip) then you will always have these fears and insecurities that he can do nothing to fix because he has no clue they exist.

[whatruckus]

Here's my thoughts about "the game": It's bullshit. I have never played the game with my boyfriend because if he isn't mature enough to handle the fact that I have opinions and feelings, then he isn't the guy for me. Obviously you don't want to come off too strong, but what is so wrong with admitting that you like someone or that you see a future with them? Now, don't go planning the wedding after your first weekend together, but if a guy is that freaked out over you showing that you like him a lot then do you really want him? Also, I think it interferes with good communication, which you will definitely need in a LDR. If you're always afraid to talk about anything that's bothering you (namely, if you don't want to call him out and ask what's going on in his mind after this last trip) then you will always have these fears and insecurities that he can do nothing to fix because he has no clue they exist.

This, this, this. Be yourself. If he doesn't like you for you, then what's the point of wanting to be with him? I told my SO flat out what type of person I was. In the beginning, he thought I was exaggerating (to get him to like me), nope. That's just me. Perverted, foul-mouthed, outspoken me. After my ex, I didn't care if I scared my SO away. I wanted someone to love me for me. And, he does. I never perceived myself to be someone I'm not.

Text him one more time. If he doesn't respond, you'll know your answer.

Also, I hate to be the one to say it, but he might've just been looking for someone to hook up with on occasion, and all those sweet, cute, things he used to say to you were part of his "game" to reel you in. I've seen it a thousand times with my friends. If, after having a wonderful weekend (that you described) he's disappeared the way he has, then I'm afraid this is most likely the case. Even if it did have something to do with the whole moving thing, that's still a crappy excuse to stop talking to someone.

But, I will say this, my SO used to talk all cutesy and use smiley's all the time when we would text. Yea, that stopped maybe like 3 months after we started dating, probably sooner. He had me, the "chase" was done. Now, I just got used to it.

[seagirl]

Thank you everyone. We are not in a relationship. We just met a month ago and this visit was kind of a first date for us to see how the chemistry is. If I don't hear from him today I will prob reach out to him tomorrow to see what's going on. Something is definitely off. I agree I wish I didn't worry so much about the game but also don't want to come off needy or desperate so sometimes I play it a little too cool I think.

I also agree he cute stuff isn't sustainable and will eventually go away, but after our first weekend together I would think we should still be in the exciting stage. Oh well, I guess just wait and see what happens.