It's finally happening but why do I feel numb?

[Unicorn26]

After almost 3 years it's finally happening. In 3 months time I'm going to meet my SO! I'm going to fly over and visit him in the US as he's had some large unexpected expenses recently (as happens when you're a grown up) and his visit would have been delayed until possibly next year so I bit the bullet, asked my parents if they would look after my kids if I went to visit him and to my SURPISE they said yes!!!

However, I'm confused by the way I feel. I'm looking forward to it of course, I've wanted to visit USA since I was about 5 years old and I cannot wait to finally hold my SO, but I feel so numb. I still need to book my flight and I'm doing my passport application today but I thought I'd be more excited? I'm kind of scared too. I'm a country girl, where I live is very quiet, safe and peaceful and nothing much happens. I'm gonna be 4000 miles from home, alone with him, and part of me is thinking what the actual f**k am I doing??? I know the likelihood of anything happening to me is very remote, I'm just a little confused and surprised by my feelings. Any experiences you guys have had along these lines? Or am I just weird?

[Ella85]

My aunt looked after my little girl in February when I went over to meet my SO. I was so nervous when I went of if he would love me in person as much as we did online etc that I did get a bit numb. You will probably be that way until right before the trip, get incredibly nervous and then everything will be fine. I did not sleep the night before the airport, the night at the airport and then I slept terribly on the bus. This time I am hoping I'll at least sleep the night before and then I will drug myself so I sleep at the airport. I can't be as tired as I was last time.. took me a week to recover (the week I was there). Good you are doing your passport ap so far in advance, I renewed mine in March even though it didn't expire until June because I wasn't leaving anything up to chance.

[Unicorn26]

Were you ok once you got there? How did everything go? Whereabouts is your SO? I'm just so nervous this isn't going to be as good as I think it is. It seems impossible for someone to be so perfect for me, I just don't have that kind of luck!!! I'm also really worried he's nit going to like me, that nerves will take over and I will go all quiet... Ugh!!!

[Ella85]

I was fine getting there. Although extremely tired from lack of sleep.. Honestly I was so scared and nervous and there was no reason to be. Things were perfect. He lives on the east coast and I get the bus from New York as it saves a lot of money. The only thing that really went wrong was that I was so upset on the way back that I had to leave that I went to JFK instead of Newark and got lost. But I ended up making my flight just fine on the way back, it just stressed me an awful lot. I was really worried he wasn't going to like me, but he had the same fear I think. I came back loving him even more which I thought was impossible as I loved him so much already.

[Ziltoid555]

Thank you for posting this Unicorn- this happens to me before every visit and I was starting to think I was weird. He's been here 3 times, I'm heading out for my third visit in mid August and without fail every time I will get really, incredibly excited about a month before, and then feel numb for about two weeks, then level out the week I leave or he arrives. If we've been apart for more than 6 months it's even worse, like I get worried that we won't reconnect as well as we have before. That's never happened though, and I would bet you and your SO will be able to relax and enjoy your time together.

I think the numbness comes from so much intense anticipation for so long, and really not knowing how to feel once things are actually moving ahead. It can be kind of useful for getting things done before a visit. When I was feeling numb before my SO's visit in mid January, I used that time to take down my Christmas decorations and winter proof my house. This time around, I've been diligently looking for the best luggage sets in my price range, checking travel blogs and weather reports to make the most efficient packing list possible, and I just signed a new apartment lease so I guess I have to move too before my trip! (maybe don't go with that last one) Anyhow, don't feel bad about feeling numb- you'll get excited again closer to the time.