Boyfriends mom having a serious surgery/Possible Visit

[BryansGirl]

Well I'm going to start with saying that I want so bad to be there for him right now, after he moved they learned his mom had ovarian cancer that had spread throughout her abdomen. She has to have surgery Friday doing a full hysterectomy, taking out all of her reproductive organs, parts of her colon removed and parts of intestines and spleen. He needs me more then ever right now and I feel bad because I have no way to be there.

On the bright side we are planning a trip in January depending on how things go with his mom. I'm going to put money in his account for him to buy a bus ticket and him come and stay for about 2 weeks. I'm more excited then I should be considering this may or may not happen but considering I haven't seen him in 2 months It's hard not to be excited

[hmrambling]

You wait just a second. This is the same mother that you were pissed because she would not taxi both you and him around? Seriously? She has cancer and you wanted her to drive him around to see you? All of your previous posts pitted her as a bad guy because she would not taxi him around. She's having surgery due to the cancer now, and you are concerned about the bright side of seeing him in January depending on how things go with his mom.

How dare that evil, evil woman not give rides to him so that he could see you when she is having a full hysterectomy, and having parts of her colon, intestines and spleen removed.

I get that you care for him, but your perspective is very, very skewed.

My prayers go out to his mother.

[Unicorn26]

Wow...

[BryansGirl]

You wait just a second. This is the same mother that you were pissed because she would not taxi both you and him around? Seriously? She has cancer and you wanted her to drive him around to see you? All of your previous posts pitted her as a bad guy because she would not taxi him around. She's having surgery due to the cancer now, and you are concerned about the bright side of seeing him in January depending on how things go with his mom.

How dare that evil, evil woman not give rides to him so that he could see you when she is having a full hysterectomy, and having parts of her colon, intestines and spleen removed.

I get that you care for him, but your perspective is very, very skewed.

My prayers go out to his mother.

AT THE TIME OF MY LAST POST SHE HAD NOT YET BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER, NOONE KNEW SHE WAS EVEN SICK.So before you Bash me for wanting a Cancer filled woman to bring him to see me like she promised she would. Noone knew she had cancer at that part of time her Diagnosis literally just happened 2 weeks ago

[BryansGirl]

You wait just a second. This is the same mother that you were pissed because she would not taxi both you and him around? Seriously? She has cancer and you wanted her to drive him around to see you? All of your previous posts pitted her as a bad guy because she would not taxi him around. She's having surgery due to the cancer now, and you are concerned about the bright side of seeing him in January depending on how things go with his mom.

How dare that evil, evil woman not give rides to him so that he could see you when she is having a full hysterectomy, and having parts of her colon, intestines and spleen removed.

I get that you care for him, but your perspective is very, very skewed.

My prayers go out to his mother.

Also if you have read I am also concerned about her, I have been talking to her on facebook and everything the past couple of weeks, The plan for january is actually a postponed date, We were planning for December but I told him to wait a while and be with him mom during her surgery and her healing. He wanted to come yesterday because he said if he is with me he will have someone to comfort him I'm the one talking about wait until she is healed. If it does not happen in January we are going to wait until she is fully healed but we at least have a plan for how he is getting down here. DO you really think I would ask her to bring him down here If I knew she had cancer NO, noone even knew she had cancer at that point in time

[hmrambling]

Also if you have read I am also concerned about her

I did read.

This is what I read:

I want so bad to be there for him right now....

He needs me more then ever right now and I feel bad because I have no way to be there.

Your original post does not express concern for his mother. You gave the details of her surgery, and you said that you want to be there for your boyfriend.

DO you really think I would ask her to bring him down here If I knew she had cancer

Read all of your previous posts, and you tell me. The heart of all your posts have been about how other people should carry the two of you around so you can see each other. This is a great example of how no one ever really knows what another person is going through. In actuality, earlier this month, you were on this forum complaining about how she would not drive him around (while she had cancer whether you knew it or not). Hopefully you guys start formulating some plan to see each other that doesn't involve relying on other people.

Again, I pray for her surgery and pray for her well-being.

[Unicorn26]

Just so you know, I had a hysterectomy last November. I am slim, healthy, extremely fit and have an almost super human immune system and I heal really quickly. The hysterectomy knocked me for six, I was so incredibly debilitated. I couldn't stand for three days, it took me nearly 10 days to be able to walk and I was off work for 3 months. I couldn't cook, do housework, walk my dogs, nothing. I had to move in with my parents so they could take over. I got incredibly depressed and I really didn't cope very well. It was about 4 months before I got back to any kind of independent living and it was a good 6-7 months before I started to feel anywhere near normal. A year on and my stomach is still tender and there are still certain exercises I can't do yet.

Your bf's mother is having this surgery, plus more invasive surgery too, PLUS she is battling cancer, she is really going to be going through an incredibly difficult period of adjustment, please do not get your hopes up that she will heal in a few weeks because I'm telling you, she ain't gonna! To deal with that very major surgery plus fight cancer.... She's gonna need her son to help her, A LOT. You may have to take a back seat for a while. Please prepare yourself for that.

[BryansGirl]

I did read.

This is what I read:




Your original post does not express concern for his mother. You gave the details of her surgery, and you said that you want to be there for your boyfriend.





Read all of your previous posts, and you tell me. The heart of all your posts have been about how other people should carry the two of you around so you can see each other. This is a great example of how no one ever really knows what another person is going through. In actuality, earlier this month, you were on this forum complaining about how she would not drive him around (while she had cancer whether you knew it or not). Hopefully you guys start formulating some plan to see each other that doesn't involve relying on other people.

Again, I pray for her surgery and pray for her well-being.

well our original plan didn't involve her doing anything out of her way. They had to go to a town 20 minutes over to pick up his stepbrother. All he had to do was ride along with and we were going to pick him up in that town. All she had to do was allow him to ride along. We did this so she would not have to drive the extra 20 minutes.My thought was that if she honestly had no intention of ever bringing him to visit she shouldn't have lied and said she would. She could have told the truth from the beginning. My other plan was to have my friend take me who agreed but his mom doesn't like her so she isn't allowed at their house so I can't have her take me. The thing that made me mad is the fact that she said she would drive him but then changed her mind after the move. He wasn't going to move along with them until she told him about that. She could have at least told the truth from the beginning instead of giving us the hope that she would bring him if she had no intentions of ever doing so. That's why we had the plan to just let him ride when they had to go get his stepbrother and I was going to pick him up from there. It was not out of her way since they were going there anyway but she would not allow him to stay long enough for us to get there to get him. Our final option since his mom has said No to every other plan we have ever had (including my friend taking me to his house) we have decided for me to buy him a bus ticket in january and his stepdad pick him up 2 weeks later. and Like I said noone knew she had cancer back then she didn't even know she had it. I was more mad that she lied then her not wanting to bring him and the fact that she wouldn't even let us go pick him up

[BryansGirl]

well our original plan didn't involve her doing anything out of her way. They had to go to a town 20 minutes over to pick up his stepbrother. All he had to do was ride along with and we were going to pick him up in that town. All she had to do was allow him to ride along. We did this so she would not have to drive the extra 20 minutes.My thought was that if she honestly had no intention of ever bringing him to visit she shouldn't have lied and said she would. She could have told the truth from the beginning. My other plan was to have my friend take me who agreed but his mom doesn't like her so she isn't allowed at their house so I can't have her take me. The thing that made me mad is the fact that she said she would drive him but then changed her mind after the move. He wasn't going to move along with them until she told him about that. She could have at least told the truth from the beginning instead of giving us the hope that she would bring him if she had no intentions of ever doing so. That's why we had the plan to just let him ride when they had to go get his stepbrother and I was going to pick him up from there. It was not out of her way since they were going there anyway but she would not allow him to stay long enough for us to get there to get him. Our final option since his mom has said No to every other plan we have ever had (including my friend taking me to his house) we have decided for me to buy him a bus ticket in january and his stepdad pick him up 2 weeks later. and Like I said noone knew she had cancer back then she didn't even know she had it. I was more mad that she lied then her not wanting to bring him and the fact that she wouldn't even let us go pick him up

and it's kinda hard to plan without other people helping us out like he has to get a ride to the bus station, since cabs do not go to his house (he lives out in the country) I was going to get a bus there once but I would have no ride to his house since again no cabs are available, each plan would involve someone else to help us out in some way or another.I would have taken a bus to see him but his stepdad would have had to pick me up from the bus station (20 miles from his house) and also I am not allowed to spend the night at his house because his mom doesn't want us having sex even tho we are 21 and 22. thats when I thought of this last idea. I get him a bus ticket in january that gives him 2 months with him mom after her surgery so he can help her while she heals and then He get his stepdad to drive him 20 miles over to the bus station and then pick him up at my house 2-3 weeks later, Our original plan was December and they pick him up when they come out this way for christmas to keep from them having to make a special trip but they are going to south carolina for christmas instead of Pikeville where they usually go so then we decided on January, since his mom should be back up and going by then since that is 2 months away

[sasad]

I had a friend diagnosed and die within 5 months. It's called the Silent killer because you don't have symptoms. I had stage 2and was able to get it licked in time. I still get checked every single year. I was 32
It's a horrible cancer.
Don't assume she knew what was happening and that she knew what was going on. She probably had no clue. So driving anyone around or anything..she didn't know.

I'm an not judging or defending...just giving you facts about cervical cancer, before people get too kick to jump.

[BryansGirl]

Just so you know, I had a hysterectomy last November. I am slim, healthy, extremely fit and have an almost super human immune system and I heal really quickly. The hysterectomy knocked me for six, I was so incredibly debilitated. I couldn't stand for three days, it took me nearly 10 days to be able to walk and I was off work for 3 months. I couldn't cook, do housework, walk my dogs, nothing. I had to move in with my parents so they could take over. I got incredibly depressed and I really didn't cope very well. It was about 4 months before I got back to any kind of independent living and it was a good 6-7 months before I started to feel anywhere near normal. A year on and my stomach is still tender and there are still certain exercises I can't do yet.

Your bf's mother is having this surgery, plus more invasive surgery too, PLUS she is battling cancer, she is really going to be going through an incredibly difficult period of adjustment, please do not get your hopes up that she will heal in a few weeks because I'm telling you, she ain't gonna! To deal with that very major surgery plus fight cancer.... She's gonna need her son to help her, A LOT. You may have to take a back seat for a while. Please prepare yourself for that.

Well if she isn't healed all the way She still has her husband to care for her, She said January sounds like a good plan. Bryan just wants her to heal up enough to where it will be okay for him to come since she won't be there alone, and since she won't be driving him anyway

[BryansGirl]

Yeah I mean the only symptom she had before moving was lack of appetite but she didn't think of it as anything, a couple weeks ago she started having stomach pains went to the doctor and was diagnosed with cancer.

[differentcountries]

There is actually a way you can "be" there.

I would suggest that you have some flowers sent or give your bf some extra money so that he can get her some flowers and a nice card from the both of you. Things like that will be remembered by the family.

[BryansGirl]

I was thinking about sending a card, But when I tried to send something before it never got there saying the address was incorrect even though it was correct

[differentcountries]

I was thinking about sending a card, But when I tried to send something before it never got there saying the address was incorrect even though it was correct

Well, if you are right that taxis don't want to go there, perhaps the adress is difficult somehow, or perhaps they have a PO box adress that is different from the place they actually live.

Either way, your SO should be able to clear that up for you, if he is not used to having much letters sent to him he can have a look at the next letter that arrives the house.