visit over, feeling down

[sunnymess54]

I got to see my SO finally after almost 5 long months of being apart. As soon as we got together it was like no time had passed, it was great. The last night I had to go to the ER for a kidney issue that I have had since a young age but as awful as that was it was nice because my SO was super caring, so attentive. The experience made me fall more in love with him. I couldn't be happier. However now that the visit is over I feel so depressed. Going to sleep without him and not waking up to him is just awful. I feel like I lost a part of myself.
I know it's not a feeling that will last forever but right now it sucks.

[Gracehopper]

True, the separation anxiety is there, waking up knowing he's not sleeping next to you. it's very depressing but in somehow we all should stay positive and think that everything will be fine. i wish someday you and him will be together and no need to be separated anymore.

[aoitori]

It's always difficult, especially the first weeks after leaving. Did you already make (at least rough) plans on when to meet next time? This should be what keeps you going

[WarwickGuy]

It does undeniably suck as you say and I can say I have definitely felt like that every time after saying goodbye to my SO at the airport.

Try to keep yourself busy, whether that is work, meeting up with friend and family, or any hobbies you enjoy (and which you get less chance of doing when your SO is around).

[harlequindoll]

So much this.

Only it's been almost three weeks since mine left. I have good days, but, so much hurting too. I wake up in tears and I can't bring myself to change the bedding because it makes me feel closer to him somehow. I know I will have to eventually, but, I'm not there yet.

I have goals I'm doing my best to focus on (being less out of shape when we see each other again- yay fitness goals!!) I think what others have said about having at least loose plans of the next time helps too, along with staying busy in your own life.

But I also think it's important to give yourself the permission to feel awful. It IS awful!!
Right after my SO left, I was on what felt like suicide watch. My friends are fantastic, but, they wouldn't give me space to process it all and anytime I would start to even hint at crying, they would remind me of why I should be happy. Like, no one ever said "Yes, this hurts like hell. Go ahead and lose it; cry, punch things; whatever...then pick yourself up and start planning for the future."

So I am giving you permission to do so, but don't stay there too long He needs you to be OK without him too. It's hard for both, remember that.

*hugs*

[QueenD]

I have figured out that the first 10 days after a visit suck the most. I am grumpy and annoyed to be away from SO, and I also have to deal with the transition period of getting back into my routine. It seems this is very common. After just a couple of visits I think it's a little easier to deal with because I know what it is.

[harlequindoll]

I am teeter tottering between "oh, okay I can do this" followed by all the positive self affirmations and reasons this is going to be okay, to "Oh my god, what the hell was I thinking?" with lots of crying and beating virtual walls with my fists-- but love is just a crazy, wild force. We don't get to control who we fall for.
It gets easier? I mean, some of you have been at this for YEARS and have somehow made it work, and made it last. I want to get there so badly, but I fear that our distance is going to need to be closed much quicker than years....There is a strange sense of urgency I can't explain.
Anyone else ever feel that? What did you do? And how do you get over the rough after-visit blues? I mean, this was our first, so maybe it gets easier? I'm so new at this. ^^
Thanks for your advice

[sasad]

Does it get easier?? Yes and no... A lot of people give themselves a time limit... I give myself 24 hours to cry, whine and bitch. Then I put on my big girl pants and go on.
I have a son, a great career and friends that are also in my life I don't stop living and we both keep our selves busy. I get my next honey do list ready for my SO to do as well.
I put him on the plane today. It hurts after being together for 4 weeks. The pain is still there and very real.
Its too hard on both of us and convos get depressing when all we say is.. "I miss you so much and cant live without you..."
You will find your rhythm hopefully soon! And yes, the first visit was weird and hard... Not knowing how we were going to mesh in person, and seriously sucking when we had to leave as we were perfect together